Omega Uplift in Action

[PerroLoco]

Teaching black teens to be men
Men of Quality promotes leadership, provides support


The Courier-Journal



About 20 African-American teenagers at the Brown School in Louisville sat transfixed as a group of successful black men challenged them to cast aside stereotypes and take a more positive view of themselves and their futures.

The men had too many negative examples themselves when they were young. Now the members of Men of Quality visit Jefferson County schools to help develop youths' leadership and social skills, as well as their self-esteem.



The school visits, which started 10 years ago, don't end after one day. The adult volunteers are available to the students around the clock.

The youths, many of whom are being raised in homes without fathers, may look to the men for help during crises or simply for someone to talk about the turmoil of adolescence.

"Growing up in the West End, we had the same challenges that you have now," Kevin Wigginton, a former college football player now with the American Red Cross, told the students. "I have friends who are not around anymore for various reasons. Some are in jail -- or in the grave."

About 300 Jefferson County middle school and high school students are involved in the program, which has 14 chapters in the district. Organizers hopes to expand the program throughout the system and start chapters in other school districts.

Teens in the program find that as they get to know one another, their problems, dreams and self-doubts are not unique.

"You can be mad the whole day," said Kaelin Hall, 17, a junior in the program's Moore Traditional High School chapter. "But when you get with that group, the Men of Quality, you're happy. It's just like family. You get with them, and everything is gone and you're having fun."

Lester Sanders, who co-founded the program with fellow Louisville businessman Audwin Helton after 1995's Million Man March, said he's reminded of the program's value just about every day.

"There are a lot of young men with great stories," said Sanders, an agent with Semonin Realtors. "Some of those great stories are simply that they were ready to drop out of school and we were able to talk to them and get them through."

The program has a way of reaching youths. As each man at the Brown School gave often-emotional testimonials about his life, the teens began opening up. One youth was chafing under the strict discipline in his home. Another spoke of the hurt he felt when he realized why his father had asked him for his blood type -- an indicator of paternity. Another wanted advice to get out of a rut.

The adult mentors say there's a reason the teenagers respond.

"It's because we're real to them," said Michael Shoulders, a former member of the Marine Corps Presidential Honor Guard. "If you can show them that you have feelings and you have emotions, then it's OK for them to do it, too."

While Men of Quality counts University of Louisville football player Michael Bush and former U of L basketball player Larry O'Bannon among its thousands of alums, Helton concedes that the program is not a panacea. Some of the teenagers are doing well but some are in jail, Helton said. "You help as many as you can."

Kaelin, the Moore High student, said the support of mentors and students is crucial as he navigates his own adolescence.

"You have people that you can talk to, not just Mr. Shoulders, but the people in Men of Quality," Kaelin said. "There's one person in the school who was going through the same thing as me this year, and me and him always talked about it and we both got over it. We helped each other out" with problems.

Shoulders takes pride in Kaelin's success.

"He's been through a lot, and he's really grown," Shoulders said. "I've been really impressed with him. That's one of the young men who constantly … calls."

During a recent meeting at Atherton High School's theater, Delquan Dorsey and Darrick Adams met with 15 black teens as part of the Men of Quality chapter there.

As Dorsey asked the teens to introduce themselves, he noticed that some seemed self-conscious.

"This is about leadership," said Dorsey, who works for the Center for Neighborhoods. "Stand up and speak loudly and clearly, like the strong black men that you are."

Adams, a risk analyst at Yum! Brands Inc., picked up on the leadership theme.

"One part of being a leader is that you want to stand upright, and you want to be professional at all times," he said.

"When you go in for job interviews … before you've written anything down on that application, they're going to have an idea about whether or not they are going to hire you just by the way you look, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself," Adams said.

After shepherding the program through its first decade, Helton and Sanders have turned to Shoulders and Wigginton to handle its day-to-day affairs.

The nonprofit program has few expenses. Its adult members -- many of whom are drawn from the Omega Psi Phi fraternity -- are volunteers, and schools provide the meeting facilities.

Shoulders said the program wants to raise money to begin offering scholarships.

Wigginton said the hardest kids to reach "are the kids who have just really given up. Nobody's been there for them. They've just given up hope. They've turned to other devices.

"I tell the kids, 'Talk to us. You can't face this thing by yourself. You've got to have somebody there to be with you.' "

The lessons the program teaches can carry over into adult life, said Norton Edmonds, an alumnus of the program at Moore High.

"Leadership is going to happen not just in school," said Edmonds, 25, a counselor at Dismas Charities' Portland Center, a halfway house for inmates readjusting to society. "When you get out, somebody else is going to be looking up to you. You learn how to talk to people and deal with them and lead them out of certain situations."

In May, Edmonds earned a bachelor's degree in criminal justice from Washburn University in Topeka, Kan.

"Going through the Men of Quality program just helped me to have a great work ethic and inspired me to … be like these men," he said. "It teaches you to be responsible and stay with your goals -- and anything's possible."