Moving On

[WVU alpha phi]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. We went to school together last year, and then he went to community college this semester. We stayed together because he was planning on coming back in the spring, and he just found out over Thanksgiving that he isn't. I'd be willing to continue long distance but he isn't.. he's 6 hours away while I'm at school, and 3 hours when I'm home.
Problem is, we still talk every single day. We say "i love you." It's like we aren't even broken up. I miss him like crazy but I know long distance wouldn't work.
When we first broke up, we didn't talk for a few days and I was absolutely miserable. The only way I've been dealing with it now is that we still talk every day and I know we broke up out of convienence.
I don't know how to move on, and I don't want to. I can't even imagine being with anyone else or wanting to, and he says the same.
What am I supposed to do??

[Buttonz]

*hug* I wish I knew what to tell you, it's hard. Hopefully it will get easier....

[James]

I dunno what you should do . . .

But he basically told you that he wants the option to see other hotties, while at the same time he acts towards you as if you are still boyfriend and girlfriend deriving whatever emotional support that gives him.

That pretty much gives him the initiative. Think about that.

[angelic1]

Him calling you every night and saying that he loves you is just no fair to you, if he is the one who broke up with you. Its going to drive your emotions crazy getting these mixed signals. Him saying he cant imagine being with anyone else, but saying that he doesnt want to be with you is just bad on his part. He may be confused right now, bc honestly he still does love you, but there is a reason he broke it off.

I had a simular situation.. dated a guy for four years .. were in the process of talking marriage.. he moved across to the other side of the country, I cam with him.. but got homesick (someone in my immediate family died) so I just had to come home so he ended things. I was a wreck.

The only thing that worked.. not talking. We had to cut off all communication. It was hard at first and I was miserable for months, but we tried the whole talking every night thing at first and that was even worse on my emotions.

Its hard to not talk to them, when thats who you want to, but find other things to do. Other groups of friends to go out with.

Cant say that will make it any easier, hell its been what 2 years.. and when me and my ex talk it still upsets me.

[winneythepooh7]

I think the only good medicine will be time and not talking to him. You also never know what the future may bring. Take some time for yourself now, and enjoy the rest of your college experience. Fun times can happen if you are single. There is plenty of time to settle down, down the road .

[CarolinaDG]

Originally posted by angelic1
Him calling you every night and saying that he loves you is just no fair to you, if he is the one who broke up with you. Its going to drive your emotions crazy getting these mixed signals. Him saying he cant imagine being with anyone else, but saying that he doesnt want to be with you is just bad on his part. He may be confused right now, bc honestly he still does love you, but there is a reason he broke it off.

I had a simular situation.. dated a guy for four years .. were in the process of talking marriage.. he moved across to the other side of the country, I cam with him.. but got homesick (someone in my immediate family died) so I just had to come home so he ended things. I was a wreck.

The only thing that worked.. not talking. We had to cut off all communication. It was hard at first and I was miserable for months, but we tried the whole talking every night thing at first and that was even worse on my emotions.

Its hard to not talk to them, when thats who you want to, but find other things to do. Other groups of friends to go out with.

Cant say that will make it any easier, hell its been what 2 years.. and when me and my ex talk it still upsets me.

I completely agree. It's so hard, because you just want to work things out, but it's easier to just cut the cord and move on. But I also agree that time doesn't always make it any easier. I was in a 5 month relationship with a guy, and broke up 4 years ago, and he can still get under my skin like noone else.

[christiangirl]

Either you guys are together or you're not. He can't have it both ways and you should tell him so. Angelic1 is right, he sounds like he DOES love you a lot, but he broke it off for a reason. It's not really on you because you don't want to be broken up, that was his deal. He's got to make that decision then stick to it, even if he doesn't pick the one that you want. It'll be hell for you if you guys break up FOR REAL, but is this really much better? That going back and forth will only do some serious damage to you, much more than a clean break.....then when you look back on your relationship it probably won't even be a good memory, that frustration and anger in the ending will probably cloud everything else. If your time together was so great that you're this insistent on not letting it go, are you willing to risk it becoming a hurtful memory rather than a happy one? Is he?

[BobbyTheDon]

Man, I thought this thread was about you Movin on UP to the eastside.