Estranged father...

[winnieb]

My father and I do not speak--we last spoke a year ago. I tried to call the first part of the year and he never returned my calls. I gave up calling. He and my mom divorcded when I was 2 and he has been remarried for the past 20 yrs. Their life is always consumed with her kid--- and his family.

By dad loves to tell me that I am spoiled, among other things. According to him I have a messed up life. But I am the one who did things in order-- graduated from high school, went to college, graduated, got married, got my MBA, and had two kids.

The step kid that is perfect, well he dropped out of high school at 16, DWIs starting at 17, drug possession charges and jail time by 18, got out of jail and while on probahtion was picked up and charged (and convicted) for trafficing cocaine. Went to prison for trafficing, got early release and violated parole again. My dad sent him to Mexico while they paid the attorney to sort out the mess. Before he left for Mexico the step kid stole checks from my dad and wrote about $10,000 in bad checks across the country. He came back to the state, served minimal jail time again. Went to rehab, met a girl, got her pregnant and by the time that baby was 2 months old the same girl was prego again. So they have two kids that are 11 months apart. But the step kid and the girl have been together long enough know they were decleared to be in a common law marriage (this came as to news to them when she tried to testify on his behalf at another trial- for assult this time).
But I am the messed up kid- who is spoiled and wants nice things.

So after one year of no contact-- I open the mail today and he mailed my kids $300 in walmart gift cards. WTF? My kids would be happier if he would speak with them-- i am tempted to give him the card and tell him that my kids would be happier just to have a grandfather.
Anyway- I am sure this seems like a pointless vent-- but I just don't know what to do about him. I am partially resigned to the fact that he won't change and be what I want in a father. But I am seriously debating showing up on his door step and saying what I want, so I can have peace with this situation.