Gay men and lisps- potentially controversial thread

kddani · #1 11-30-2005, 11:08 PM

So i'm sitting here watching Made (the MTV show), and the guy that is the focus of this episode is absolutely FLAMING.

His lisp is driving me insane.

What is the deal with gay men and lisping? Obviously not all gay men have lisps, but why do some have such incredibly exaggerated lisps? I just don't get it. WHY?

I'm obviously not trying to be offensive, I serious do NOT get this!

KSUViolet06 · #2 11-30-2005, 11:11 PM

He's pretty gay. Like the stereotypical "Queer Eye" kind of gay. It's really annoying. I often wonder if gay men who act like that acted that way when they first came out, or is it something they feel like they stereotypically HAVE to be.

carnation · #3 11-30-2005, 11:52 PM

I don't understand the lisp thing either. A guy I grew up with had a totally normal voice as a child. He started hanging around with the drama crowd and suddenly began prancing and lisping. My dad suggested I take him to our high school's Sadie Hawkins dance and I said, "Uh, I don't think he wants a girl for a date," and my dad got mad that I defiled his friend's son's honor.

Well Dad, I guess you've seen Lee in Heaven by now...AIDS sent him there 10 years ago.

SOPi_Jawbreaker · #4 11-30-2005, 11:58 PM

This is a little bit off on a tangent. A few years ago, I was talking to some friends of a friend. These guys I was talking to were gay and they were saying that it seems like young gay men (like college-aged) tend to have more exagerated, flambouyant mannerisms. These guys were saying that the guys they knew kinda toned it down as they got older. Their theory was that when these guys are young and newly out-of-the-closet, they're still trying to figure out where they belong and still trying to find their way in the gay community. And it's just easier to get noticed by other young and inexperienced gay men if they adopt the stereotypical gay mannerisms. As they get older and more mature, many of them become more comfortable with themselves and their sexuality and kinda mellow out/not be as out there.

AchtungBaby80 · #5 12-01-2005, 01:58 AM

You know, I have always wondered about this, too...I know some gay guys who speak normally, and others who lisp a lot. So what gives? I mean, it's not the kind of thing you ask someone or I would have by now...

James · #6 12-01-2005, 05:24 AM

In theory, there is supposed to be a socialization factor to sexual indentity. So the lisp, half-cocked wrist and other mannerisms would be learned behaviors as a way of showing sexual preference through body language.

Another example. We all know people that smoke pot, maybe even a lot of it. Not all of them start wearing hippy stlyles become rastafarian and change the way they speak and deal witht he world.

They are mimicing a social role. Shrug. Seems silly to me, but what the hell do i know.

James · #7 12-01-2005, 05:26 AM

I would ask someone. But, I am not always very . . uhm sensitive.

Introduce me to one of your flaming friends and I'll asj him for you

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
You know, I have always wondered about this, too...I know some gay guys who speak normally, and others who lisp a lot. So what gives? I mean, it's not the kind of thing you ask someone or I would have by now...

_Lisa_ · #8 12-01-2005, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker
This is a little bit off on a tangent. A few years ago, I was talking to some friends of a friend. These guys I was talking to were gay and they were saying that it seems like young gay men (like college-aged) tend to have more exagerated, flambouyant mannerisms. These guys were saying that the guys they knew kinda toned it down as they got older. Their theory was that when these guys are young and newly out-of-the-closet, they're still trying to figure out where they belong and still trying to find their way in the gay community. And it's just easier to get noticed by other young and inexperienced gay men if they adopt the stereotypical gay mannerisms. As they get older and more mature, many of them become more comfortable with themselves and their sexuality and kinda mellow out/not be as out there.

I've got a few gay friends that have said this exact same thing before. Unfortunately, some of them never mature or become comfortable enough with themselves to end this odd behavior.

AznSAE · #9 12-01-2005, 10:30 AM

guys who acts and talks like a girl is THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER! i was sitting in the cafe studing for my finals and these group of gay guys sits maybe 2-3 tables away, all i hear is girl voices. they keep calling each other girl this and girl that and talking about new shoes.

Lindz928 · #10 12-01-2005, 11:18 AM

I have to say I don't really understand it either. I have one pretty good friend who is gay and he is very flaming. Huge lisp and everything. He was already "out" when I met him, so I wonder if he always had this lisp. Who knows.

Does anyone else also automatically wonder about a man's sexuality if he has a lisp? For example, I met this very hot guy at happy hour one night, and I know he's not gay, but he has a lisp... and it automatically makes him seem like he could be gay.

PM_Mama00 · #11 12-01-2005, 11:25 AM

I believe the whole adapting to the stereotype thingy. On one of the True Life shows on MTV (the ep about people leading double lives), the gay guy (from Pontiac holla) acted pretty different with his sets of friends. With his straight friends you could kind of tell he was gay, but with his gay friends he was absolutely flaming.

Sock Puppet · #12 12-01-2005, 03:37 PM

What is the deal with female attorneys and bitchiness? Every one that I've encountered is beyond redemption.

Is it a stereotype? Are stereotypes hurtful? You be the judge, Danielle.

kddani · #13 12-01-2005, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sock Puppet
What is the deal with female attorneys and bitchiness? Every one that I've encountered is beyond redemption.

Is it a stereotype? Are stereotypes hurtful? You be the judge, Danielle.

I'm sorry that you are having such a bad day that you need to create a fake username so that you can vent and try to insult people. Surely you're too ashamed or not confident enough in yourself to do it under your real name. I hope your day gets better and that you feel better about yourself soon.

AlphaFrog · #14 12-01-2005, 04:43 PM

I <3 Danielle!

Sock Puppet · #15 12-01-2005, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
I'm sorry that you are having such a bad day that you need to create a fake username so that you can vent and try to insult people. Surely you're too ashamed or not confident enough in yourself to do it under your real name. I hope your day gets better and that you feel better about yourself soon.

Me: Kettle
Danielle: Pot

Pot: "Kettle, you're black!"

But seriously, how is my question different? Can you answer it? Are female attorneys bitchy? Are stereotypes hurtful?