At The Crossroads - My Chapter SUCKS

[DeltaSigStan]

Sorry, this is going to be long.

I'm pretty much at the crossroads at this point.

I love Delta Sigma Phi. Period. I love the ritual, the tradition, the fact that I have bros all over the country. I can basically name every active chapter, and make an effort to talk to Delta Sigs from many chapters.

My chapter, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. I thought things were finally turning around, but this evidently is not the case. We initiated 7 great pledges, but I know we could have gotten more if more people had been involved; 6 people in a chapter of 28 do 95% of the work, while the rest just slack off and don't really believe a fraternity is for anything but partying. We never show any interest in philanthropy, and normally just show up with "enough" people to take part. And some members claim that philanthropy, community service, and many other things that we, as greeks, are obligated to do, is "IFC bullsh*t".

Many of the guys just have this "laid back" attitude, and it doesn't bother them that we're the smallest IFC fraternity, that sororities constantly dog us, and the rest of IFC talks so much smack. And they have every right to say it because everything they say is true: my chapter is apathetic and unproductive. I mean, I have SIX, count em, SIX positions in the house, and I do them all to the best of my ability not because of the chapter, but because I love Delta Sig as a whole. But it's so disheartening when members don't even know anything about the ritual outside the founders, don't really care to set up social events (The one exchange we had this semester was set up by me) nor do ANYTHING ELSE.

Nobody understands that we should be the best chapter we should be because we are representing Delta Sigma Phi; they think representation like cheering and yelling and chanting AND KNOWING THE RITUAL is, well, in their words...."gay".

There's nothing I can do to get these guys to work for anything other than themselves, outside the few guys that actually do care. I'm honestly at the point where I'd rather see my chapter closed than in the state we are in; Gamma Alpha is an insult to Delta Sigma Phi Fraternity and damn near 60 years of tradition at SDSU. I'd rather go to Convention every two years and hang out with guys that actually care about the fraternity than see Gamma Alpha just rot the way it's doing.

I know some of you are in this situation, and giving me any tips on how to boost motivation or production just will not work: I can't get these guys to do anything but party, which we suck at as well.

I mean, there's a reason SAE, Phi Psi and KA all are huge chapters and very popular on campus; yeah, they throw awesome parties (which I wish I could be let into, but because I'm a Delta Sig........), but they also do community service, work on campus, and basically, everything else a Fraternity is SUPPOSED to do.

What makes it even worse is that if we throw ONE, ONE good party, the chapter throws its hands in their like "oh, they know Delta Sig now"......"our prescence is so strong"......It's like they purposely get miopic in order to cloud their own illusions.

I also realize that we have a VERY, VERY, VERY superficial greek system where popularity is picked over presentation (otherwise we'd have gotten philanthropy next Spring instead of the house that DID get it, who even TOLD me they didn't want to do it. But I'm at the end of my rope.

I sat there, one night, and told myself that the rest of the house can go screw themselves; if ONE person had to set up EVERY social event (i.e call the sorority to actually ask), maintain our website, plan EVERY alumni event, AND go to every scholarship meeting (I dropped Greek Week chair), then fine, I'll do it...not because of our chapter, but because I love Tonsor, Boesky, 1899, CCNY, and everything else about Delta Sigma Phi. I'll call every sorority, I'll call all the alumni, I'll do everything I can to make sure we're doing SOMETHING besides sitting on our (collectively) fat asses. I'll be the guy who represents the ideals that one jew and one christian founded back on December 10, 1899.

But on the other hand, why should I keep doing this when I'm not getting ANYTHING out of it? When the rest of frat row thinks we're a joke, when almost every sorority walks by our house during walkaround and doesn't even acknowledge our presence?(Thanks KD and Sigma Kappa BTW, you make my Sunday nights). And most importantly, why should I keep doing this when the rest of Gamma Alpha doesn't share the same passion for this fraternity that I do?

I just really don't know where to go from here. I realize that I shouldn't worry about the other greeks, and that I need to stop bitching, but what else can I say/do when you're the smallest and least popular house, and people keep bullsh*tting themselves into thinking otherwise?

I really don't know where I'm going with this, other than I'm just tired of it all, but I can't leave because I love those three letters just too damn much.

[PhiPsiRuss]

You need to round up chapter alumni, explain the situation, and then plan the course of action. This project should be started by you, since you're the one at wits end, but not led by you. You are to close to the chapter to effectively lead reform. You need to be the "good cop" to the alumni's "bad cop." Also, keep your HQ in the loop. They may know things that are relevant, that may have escaped you.

[DGMarie]

You cannot be a one man chapter. As terrible as it is to say, if the entire chapter rests soley on you, it is destined to fail either through your sheer exhaustion of the real fact that you will graduate and move on. If by contantly being "johnny on the spot" and taking on so many responsiblities, regardless of your good intentions, you in essence support their apathy. If no one wants to be involved other than the six of you, then you are better in my opinion being a six man alumni org than an active chapter.

Ditto to the advice to seek both alumni and HQ advice and support.

Your dedication and ehtusiasm is well apparent but you cannot, nor should you be expected, to maintain the chapter.

I really don't know where I'm going with this, other than I'm just tired of it all, but I can't leave because I love those three letters just too damn much.

You will never leave your letters...regardless of what you do.

[BSUPhiSig'92]

Stan,
Are your alumni and HQ aware of just how bad its getting there? Has a leadership consultant been out to visit the chapter this year? I know when I was on our alumni advisory board and my chapter got like this, the alumni decided to do a reorganization with National HQ. We went from 35 men to 6 overnight, but it was the best thing for the chapter in the long run. I don't think we would be here today if it weren't for that (and we're doing pretty well I might add). I would notify the alumni and get them involved, and I would call HQ and demand a consultant come out ASAP (and preferably with very short notice so the chapter doesn't have time to perpare and gloss things over). I hope this helps, good luck and have a good break!

[AchtungBaby80]

I don't know much about how fraternities work, but I just have one question: What are some of your brothers doing in your fraternity, if they think it's so "gay?" Why not just go alum instead of bringing the whole chapter's morale down with their negativity?

[SigmaPi@UofA]

From being a founding father... this is what I can give you... and i hope it is helpful. Like many have said, I would seek help from your alumni's and national HQ. Maybe your small chapter needs a house cleaning, from what I've heard... i have the exact same passion for my house, and honestly we all should. Also you metioned 5 other guys... utilize them. Have you guys already rushed all of your friends? I stress the importance in informal rush. Maybe you six should start a new wave, a wave of passion for the letters you wear on your chest. You rushed 7 guys this past semester. SO hopefully u have the original 6 plus the new 7 which gives you 13. I know you have a lot of positions but maybe you guys should focus on the major things. Have someone who bleeds your letters be the new member educator, so you have new brothers who share the same passion. Have the e board set the example, and lead by actions. Sounds like you have a few guys who don’t care anymore... maybe they should be deactived or alumnied early. Get them out of the house before they infect the other brothers. Being a small chapter, means everyone person is vital and important. To become strong, it takes strong leadership from the top all the way down. One word of advice that I strongly give you, and if your only willing to listen to one thing from me then this is what I suggest... DONT DO IT ALLOW! You’ll get burned out... trust in the alumni, HQ and the brothers that care.

Good luck....

James

[starang21]

the three W's always works.

[RACooper]

I have to agree with rounding up Alumni that want to see the chapter strong.... not relive their "party days". Have them come around and let them see the state of the chapter, hopefully the justified outrage will be a kick in the pants to some of the slackers.

As for IHQ, I would contact them and ask for support, specifically chapter involvement and recruitment. If you can't save the seniors from themselves, hopefully you can minimize the damage to the new guys..... they are the future so if you can set them on the right course you have a great step in saving your chapter.

Have you tried giving up a position or two to one of the new guys who you think is interested and responsible? That could take some pressure of you and allow you to focus on membership standards and involvement. The most important thing to remember is to take baby steps, and raise the bar slowly..... and if that doesn't work i'm sure your IHQ will lower the boom.

All in all good luck!

[Rudey]

Ask your national office for advice. And if they ignore you, keep talking to other people until someone listens. If they have to come in and clean house, fine that's acceptable. They'll come in do some interviews, kick out the guys that are bringing the house down, and inject resources to build up the chapter from that point. That is what I recommend. I don't think most bad apples change and if they do you have a short time to spend at college - it's not an eternity. I really do feel for you though and if you want more specific advice, PM me because I ran into several chapters like that and saw them either fold or do better.

-Rudey

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Sorry, this is going to be long.

I'm pretty much at the crossroads at this point.

I love Delta Sigma Phi. Period. I love the ritual, the tradition, the fact that I have bros all over the country. I can basically name every active chapter, and make an effort to talk to Delta Sigs from many chapters.

My chapter, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. I thought things were finally turning around, but this evidently is not the case. We initiated 7 great pledges, but I know we could have gotten more if more people had been involved; 6 people in a chapter of 28 do 95% of the work, while the rest just slack off and don't really believe a fraternity is for anything but partying. We never show any interest in philanthropy, and normally just show up with "enough" people to take part. And some members claim that philanthropy, community service, and many other things that we, as greeks, are obligated to do, is "IFC bullsh*t".

Many of the guys just have this "laid back" attitude, and it doesn't bother them that we're the smallest IFC fraternity, that sororities constantly dog us, and the rest of IFC talks so much smack. And they have every right to say it because everything they say is true: my chapter is apathetic and unproductive. I mean, I have SIX, count em, SIX positions in the house, and I do them all to the best of my ability not because of the chapter, but because I love Delta Sig as a whole. But it's so disheartening when members don't even know anything about the ritual outside the founders, don't really care to set up social events (The one exchange we had this semester was set up by me) nor do ANYTHING ELSE.

Nobody understands that we should be the best chapter we should be because we are representing Delta Sigma Phi; they think representation like cheering and yelling and chanting AND KNOWING THE RITUAL is, well, in their words...."gay".

There's nothing I can do to get these guys to work for anything other than themselves, outside the few guys that actually do care. I'm honestly at the point where I'd rather see my chapter closed than in the state we are in; Gamma Alpha is an insult to Delta Sigma Phi Fraternity and damn near 60 years of tradition at SDSU. I'd rather go to Convention every two years and hang out with guys that actually care about the fraternity than see Gamma Alpha just rot the way it's doing.

I know some of you are in this situation, and giving me any tips on how to boost motivation or production just will not work: I can't get these guys to do anything but party, which we suck at as well.

I mean, there's a reason SAE, Phi Psi and KA all are huge chapters and very popular on campus; yeah, they throw awesome parties (which I wish I could be let into, but because I'm a Delta Sig........), but they also do community service, work on campus, and basically, everything else a Fraternity is SUPPOSED to do.

What makes it even worse is that if we throw ONE, ONE good party, the chapter throws its hands in their like "oh, they know Delta Sig now"......"our prescence is so strong"......It's like they purposely get miopic in order to cloud their own illusions.

I also realize that we have a VERY, VERY, VERY superficial greek system where popularity is picked over presentation (otherwise we'd have gotten philanthropy next Spring instead of the house that DID get it, who even TOLD me they didn't want to do it. But I'm at the end of my rope.

I sat there, one night, and told myself that the rest of the house can go screw themselves; if ONE person had to set up EVERY social event (i.e call the sorority to actually ask), maintain our website, plan EVERY alumni event, AND go to every scholarship meeting (I dropped Greek Week chair), then fine, I'll do it...not because of our chapter, but because I love Tonsor, Boesky, 1899, CCNY, and everything else about Delta Sigma Phi. I'll call every sorority, I'll call all the alumni, I'll do everything I can to make sure we're doing SOMETHING besides sitting on our (collectively) fat asses. I'll be the guy who represents the ideals that one jew and one christian founded back on December 10, 1899.

But on the other hand, why should I keep doing this when I'm not getting ANYTHING out of it? When the rest of frat row thinks we're a joke, when almost every sorority walks by our house during walkaround and doesn't even acknowledge our presence?(Thanks KD and Sigma Kappa BTW, you make my Sunday nights). And most importantly, why should I keep doing this when the rest of Gamma Alpha doesn't share the same passion for this fraternity that I do?

I just really don't know where to go from here. I realize that I shouldn't worry about the other greeks, and that I need to stop bitching, but what else can I say/do when you're the smallest and least popular house, and people keep bullsh*tting themselves into thinking otherwise?

I really don't know where I'm going with this, other than I'm just tired of it all, but I can't leave because I love those three letters just too damn much.

[DeltaSigStan]

Thanks everyone again. I've contacted some alumni, and I think they might be able to help us. Thing is, I don't want them to help us, and they DON'T WANT to help us, unless we help ourselves, and I don't know if the majority of the chapter will rally aorund it.

The only problem is that I don't want to seem like the "traitor"; the guy who ratted everyone out, because I have my own problems that they can throw back at me. The biggest thing is that I complained so much about the chapter that no one takes me seriously anymore, and going to the alumni will just make my status even worse, because should the house be cleaned or whatever, I'm obviously going to be blamed.

There's just problems all over the place that have been decaying since we've rechartered, and I really don't see us changing anything without some type of huge fallout.

[sairose]

Hey man, hang in there.

I think every GLO out there, at some point, has had some kind of "falling out" so to speak. My SAI chapter went through that for a few years, actually. Our membership was tiny(like 7 girls), and I was the one who did ALL THE WORK because our president never did anything she was supposed to do. I was the only one who really cared.

I honestly thought about going inactive, but like you, I just loved everything my GLO stood for and couldn't bear to quit. I chose to hang in there. And we finally recruited some wonderful girls and now our chapter is still small, but very strong because of our dedicated members. Our chapter is growing. We just had a bad few years really.

Maybe if you hang in there too, it'll help. And it might not. But either way, I wish you the best of luck.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Thanks everyone again. I've contacted some alumni, and I think they might be able to help us. Thing is, I don't want them to help us, and they DON'T WANT to help us, unless we help ourselves, and I don't know if the majority of the chapter will rally aorund it.

The only problem is that I don't want to seem like the "traitor"; the guy who ratted everyone out, because I have my own problems that they can throw back at me. The biggest thing is that I complained so much about the chapter that no one takes me seriously anymore, and going to the alumni will just make my status even worse, because should the house be cleaned or whatever, I'm obviously going to be blamed.

There's just problems all over the place that have been decaying since we've rechartered, and I really don't see us changing anything without some type of huge fallout.

Crack some eggs and make an omelette. Who gives 2 shytes about how some guys who are screwing things for everyone are feeling. The other option is to get others involved and slowly make it into a 2 man chapter, then 3, 4, and so on. You do that by saying "Hey bill can you help me set up for..." and not "hey bill can you do this." How many more years do you have before you're out of there? I wouldn't just ask alumni because the alumni can only help but they don't run things - your national office does run things.

-Rudey

[DeltaSigStan]

That's a very good point. The five that actually do care have to utilize the 7 new JAs, cause I know most of them care too, and they're becoming dangerously close to being apathetic as well.

We had a guy from Nationals come visit to investigate an incident that happened before school started, but everyone avoided him, so he never really got to see how we "really" are.

Once we know Nationals is coming, or an alumni is starting to be concerned, it seems like there's some plan of action to BS him and keep him out of the loop till he's gone. The thought is that these guys can't help us.....well, we're obviously not faring better by ourselves.

That's probably why I hate it so much: guys try so hard to NOT do anything and want it to stay that way. They think the way any other house operates is "making clones". As long as we're the Animal House, we're never going to get better.

I have one year left after this Spring (hopefully), and I'd like to see AT LEAST have an exchange with a panhellenic sorority or even pref before I graduate, but apparently anything shirt and tie and requires us to stay sober is "gay".

Hence why I got laughed at when I suggested feeding the homeless one Sunday afternoon.

[Firehouse]

It's 11:45 pm on Christmas Eve, Stan. Your passion and dedication are commendable, so here's an early present for you. Here's how to accomplish what you want to do.
1) Stop complaining to the brothers. Say nothing negative to them about the chapter, about them or anything else. Say only positive, encouraging things no matter how they respond to you.
2) Drop all your offices immediately and become rush chairman. Rush (recruitment) is the key to everything. Who controls membership controls the chapter's destiny. A good rush chairman can literally build his own chapter in his own image. Stay rush chairman. No other offices or responsibilities.
3) Gather around you a corps of true believers. Every chapter has leaders; some lead for bad and some for good. You be a force that inspires others to follow you. Make them your desciples. Seek out men like you and pledge them. Pledge as many as possible and do it all year long. Have two or three classes each semester if you can. Passion counts for a lot, but you have to know what you're doing. Otherwise you're a gerbil in a wheel.
4) Never try to accomplish anything in chapter meeting. In a weak chapter, these meeting are largely where complainers spout off, dampen the enthusiasm of good men, and throw up roadblocks to achievement. JUST GO AHEAD AND DO THINGS. As you are successful, others will back you up. never get in an argument with a loser in chapter meeting. In fact, it's probably not possible but you'd be better off never addressing the chapter at all. Remember, if you are going to be effective you have to go ahead and make decisions. The chapter as it is constituted now will NEVER 'vote' to make the needed changes. Realize that it's not necessary for the chapter to reach a consensus on any of your issues. You don't need to get rid of guys, just go aroud them. You drive ahead. You control the vision. You just have to accomplish this by force of will. Fortunately, as you succeed you will become credible and valuable and more men will follow you.
5) Spend 50% of your time as rush chairman rushing the chapter. I mean, go from room to room talking with brothers individually about the fraternity. Remember what I told you: never be negative and don't trash the brothers or the chapter. It's not that they don't deserve it; it's that negative talk/negative attitude will have results counter to what you want. Talk about your vision and what Delta Sig should be, and how you are going to make that happen. Make them see the big picture that you see. Don't ever cloud that picture with dark talk.
6) If you embrace these things and pursue them with enthusiasm and intelligence, you will succeed. If you decide to move forward, let me know if I can help.
Merry Christmas, Stan. You deserve a good turn.

[PrincessPhiSig]

I agree with Rudey. Start by making it a 2 man chapter, and progress from there. Try getting your JA's in on the action ASAP. Right now they are still riding the wave of motivation and excitement of joining Delta Sig. They will be more eager and willing to volunteer or agree to do things than the already apathetic ones.

Contacting your alumni was a great idea. Many times alumni are more than happy to assist the chapter in activities. Perhaps if some people in positions aren't doing anything at all, an alumni who previously held the position could help out and guide the present position chair.

Congrats on being so proactive and taking the initiative to begin a major (and beneficial) change!