Now about these wedding plans...

carnation · #1 03-03-2005, 11:08 PM

Ack! So my oldest daughter is getting married, the first of 9 daughters, and the wedding will be in December. I'm looking at everything we have to do and *panicking*. Does anybody have any golden advice?

She'll be using a Christmas theme.

Munchkin03 · #2 03-03-2005, 11:24 PM

Set a budget and stick to it. But that's true for anything.

There are some really good wedding advice threads on here somewhere...but none are from mothers wanting advice.

Good luck!

Peaches-n-Cream · #3 03-03-2005, 11:38 PM

Congratulations! I have been thinking about a Christmas theme for my wedding although I have no date set. I really have no clue about where or how to get started myself. Everything is so expensive and overwhelming that I am considering running to City Hall. I have looked at the knot which seems to be full of good ideas. Maybe that will help you. Good luck!

Tomorrow in NYC, Filene's Basement is having their big bridal sale, also known as the running of the brides. I might check it out if I have the summoned up the fortitude. Maybe you'll see me on the news fighting with another bride for the perfect wedding gown, lol!

sageofages · #4 03-03-2005, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
Ack! So my oldest daughter is getting married, the first of 9 daughters, and the wedding will be in December. I'm looking at everything we have to do and *panicking*. Does anybody have any golden advice?

She'll be using a Christmas theme.

Planning on paper! Get a notebook and keep careful notes, it will help you keep on track

.

Using a database/speadsheet or PROJECT MANAGEMENT software is a GODSEND....

I used MSProject in most event planning for work, and planning a wedding *is* an event

KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR....BE FLEXIBLE

...things will happen and ultimately is the marriage that counts not the party to the point!

Tippiechick · #5 03-04-2005, 12:00 AM

If you are planning on having Christmas trees in the theme, then you should consider Old Time Pottery. They have those in GA, don't they? We bought 4 footers, 6 footers, and 10 footers for a little of nothing from there. We bought wreaths and had bows made for them to go on the church doors.

Then, we had our florist do the bouquets, etc. It cut our floral/decorating cost in half.

I would suggest for her to buy some Brides magazines and look online for things she likes. Romanticflowers.com is an awesome site for bouquet ideas.

I gathered pictures of things I liked and would use in my wedding. I placed them in sheet protectors in a binder. Then, when we went to the caterers, I had the catering ideas right there. When we went to the florist, I had the bouquet types I liked, etc. When we went dress shopping, I was able to show the boutique what type of dress and favorite designers I liked.

I was able to empower myself by knowing what I wanted. That put a lot less stress on me.

pinkyphimu · #6 03-04-2005, 12:18 AM

no advice from me, but congrats and keep us posted on how it is going!

ISUKappa · #7 03-04-2005, 12:42 AM

First off, Congrats to your daughter and to you!

go to: http://boards.weddingchannel.com

There are TONS of great ideas on there, especially in the Planning and Wedding Journal forums.

honeychile · #8 03-04-2005, 12:50 AM

Does the church or chapel that you're using have photos of what it looks like at Christmastime? I've always said that, when we do get married, I want it at Christmastime, since our church is decorated to the absolute hilt, with hurricane lamps & greens at every window, evergreen boughs with either magnolias or poinsettias, and trees. Why pay for more when there's already a lot of decoration? Your daughter should be the star, after all!

Also, between my first marriage, and when I talked to our church's wedding planner, there has been a TON of changes - so I'd start with the venue, and see what they allow and what they'll have. For instance, pew bows, a consultant, and Herbal Tea in the Bride's Room

are all part of holding the service in the church, while rice, bird seed, and confetti are NOT allowed.

From there, I'm going to bow to Tippiechick!

carnation · #9 03-04-2005, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
Does the church or chapel that you're using have photos of what it looks like at Christmastime? I've always said that, when we do get married, I want it at Christmastime, since our church is decorated to the absolute hilt, with hurricane lamps & greens at every window, evergreen boughs with either magnolias or poinsettias, and trees. Why pay for more when there's already a lot of decoration? Your daughter should be the star, after all!

Also, between my first marriage, and when I talked to our church's wedding planner, there has been a TON of changes - so I'd start with the venue, and see what they allow and what they'll have. For instance, pew bows, a consultant, and Herbal Tea in the Bride's Room are all part of holding the service in the church, while rice, bird seed, and confetti are NOT allowed.

From there, I'm going to bow to Tippiechick!

Yea, great ideas already!

I LOVE the Christmas tree idea and I'm gonna talk to ASLFRose about spreadsheets. And I'm about to check out the knot!

Honeychile, the reason I know what the church looks like at Christmas is that Mr. Carnation and I were married there at Christmas--she's getting married the same week only 25 years later! And she's using the same soloist; and the soloist's son, who was my ringbearer, will be her organist!

Her bridesmaids will wear the 2-piece strapless red gowns at www.davidsbridal.com . No clue about bouquets yet (but they'll be Christmasy) or a reception site...

there is so, so much to think about. Caterers! Photographers! Florists!

Does anybody have any tips that made their planning easier?

LOL, birdseed. They threw it at my wedding and my French braid rained birdseed all the way to Orlando.

trojangal · #10 03-04-2005, 02:43 AM

When Mr. Trojangal and I were planning our wedding, I came across a wonderful free bridal organizer that could be put on computer!!! It was called Bridesmate or BridalMate, I believe. There were several wonderful functions: budget tracker, budget planner,GUEST LIST DATABASE--what was really cool about this function was that it allowed us to enter all of the information from invite to RSVP..and it allowed us to print out a list of all who were attending so we could give caterer a final count and we could give the military base all the names of those attending. What was even neater was it allowed us to record shower gifts and wedding gifts, and when we needed to mail those thank you notes, the addresses were already in one place!

Just checked the Internet...it's at bridesmate.com

I think you'll find it helpful!

AChiOAlumna · #11 03-04-2005, 05:05 AM

Congratulations!! 9 daughters??? Wow....

Anyway, I have 2 pieces of advice from remembering my own wedding-planning days:

1) Determine your budget BEFORE you begin any planning...this will keep you locked in to what you can afford and not result in having to take out a 2nd and 3rd mortgage on your house...

2)While a wedding is a serious event, don't take the whole thing SO seriously! Enjoy the process...be flexible...keep things in perspective....and keep a sense of humor about the whole planning process.

Ultimately it's one day of the bride's rest of her life...I've seen brides who feel like their marriage will be a failure because the wedding didn't go the way they had hoped. IT'S ONE DAY!!!

Good luck and enjoy this time with your daughter!!

kddani · #12 03-04-2005, 08:21 AM

Get all of her bridesmaids to order their dress ASAP. The red from David's is such a pretty color, and my roommate and I were just saying how beautiful it would be for a Christmas wedding (I'm wearing a strapless red dress from David's for my little's wedding tomorrow!). But David's will change styles fairly quickly sometimes... I had picked out a different dress with the bride, but by the time the other bridesmaids got around to getting there it was discontinued.

Have a cookie table! Bring the tradition down to Georgia! I dropped off myc ookies at the hall yesterday.... dear God, I have NEVER seen so many cookies. Even the hall staff commented on how many there were (and this is Pittsburgh, they have cookie tables at every wedding). If honey's theory is true, they will have a very successful marriage.

Maybe not so much a problem down South, but we're going to have pictures taking outside tomorrow... on top of Mt. Washington (overlooks the city). It's going to be friggin cold!!!!!

I will probably have a ton of wedding do's and don't after tomorrow

ETA: communicate with the bridesmaids! They can help you a lot, and it makes things very confusing when they're out of the loop.

As the mother of the bride, go to the bachlorette party! You'll need the stress relief

Xylochick216 · #13 03-04-2005, 08:33 AM

Like everyone else said, get wedding planning software or a good book-form planner. I got mine at Barnes & Noble for about $15, and it had all sorts of checklists for things I never even thought of.

Pick out invitations soon so you can have lots of time to address them. And get a guest list EARLY so you have numbers for things, like the caterer.

Have her join theknot.com. I prefer it to weddingchannel.com. I'm a huge fan of The Knot Magazine, too. It has all sorts of ideas for people who don't have huge budgets (and some for those who do). I found pictures of dresses, flowers, cakes, etc. all from the magazine and website.

Good luck! My wedding is in less than a month, and I'll let you know if I think of anything else.

mmcat · #14 03-04-2005, 09:36 AM

the best i can do is big time congrats.
enjoy the chaos. it will be wonderful.

aephi alum · #15 03-04-2005, 10:59 AM

Congratulations!

The farther ahead you plan everything, the more likely it is to get done the way you'd like, and the more time you have to correct anything that goes wrong.

Have the bridesmaids order their dresses, shoes, and accessories now.

Your daughter should arrange her final dress fitting WELL in advance... like several months in advance.

Check with the officiant that the wedding dress and bridesmaids' dresses are acceptable. In some churches, the bride can't have her shoulders bare (so no strapless or sleeveless dresses) or have too short a skirt. They may or may not be more lax with the bridesmaids.

Organization is key. A former coworker of mine actually put together a Gantt chart, with herself, her fiance, parents, in-laws, and wedding party members as resources... she had task lists, dependencies, etc.

Something you may not want to hear, is that your daughter and her fiance are in charge. You're not. If she wants her bridesmaids to carry bright pink and orange flowers, and you know that will clash horribly with their red dresses, certainly you can advise her to rethink her choice, but ultimately it's her choice. (Although I'm sure she has better taste than that!

)

Also, something WILL go wrong on the wedding day. With that many factors, something is bound to happen. Hopefully it will be something minor, but brides (and moms!) have a way of stressing out over every little detail, e.g. "I LOST A BOBBY PIN! OMG IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!" (yes I've seen a bride do this). The important thing to remember is that, the photographer may have been late, the band may have forgotten that the maid of honor wanted to give a toast (happened at my wedding), the guests may have been stuck in traffic between the wedding and the reception... at the end of the day, they're just as married.

Good luck with all the wedding planning.