Things to Make You Smile

[honeychile]

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

[carnation]

[so damn cool]

[trojangal]

Too funny--thanks for starting off my day with a smile!

Originally posted by trojangal
Too funny--thanks for starting off my day with a smile!

my feelings exactly!


ADD ONE MORE.......FRIDAYS AT 5 PM MAKE ME SMILE!

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by honeychile

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 'Nuff said

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. And I used to know the meaning of life, but I forgot to write it down


6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me! If I could only remember what they say

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. Important ones

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Good night

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Is that what happened?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. Well, no real wrinkles yet, but I'm waiting more or less patiently

19. Procrastinate Now! Avoid the rush later

A quick history of DeltAlums life -- underscored items added by DA.