Question: Whats the best way to knock down the "you guys buy your friends" response

[a.e.B.O.T.]

I have no efficient answer... i explain and explain all that I can, but it so hard. They are stuck on that idea that fraternities and sororities buy their friends. Its just no true. So, whats a good answer, anyone know some realy hum dingers on this one?

[LXAAlum]

The most common one, and the one I use:

"If I was paying for my friends, I didn't pay near enough"

[lifesaver]

I am a smart ass and just tell people they were on sale. I joined a big chapter because I like to buy in bulk.

It dosent matter what you say dude. You wont change minds. Why try. There are those that are open to greek life and those that arent. The closed minded will only change minds once they make friends with greeks and are surrounded by them.

[LXAAlum]

Originally posted by lifesaver
I am a smart ass and just tell people they were on sale. I joined a big chapter because I like to buy in bulk.

That is great, Life....I may have to use that myself...

[James]

I usually just tell the truth. You don't buy friends, you are paying for social activities. Its little different from an activity fee.

And then I'll illustrate how much more social events that there are versus what the average idependant has available.

Usually the person who says that to you is really being more offensive than inquisitive.

So i'll usually preface what i say with,

"What are you slow or something? Are you saying that people can buy your friendship? I mean if so thats cool. But you agree that you can buy really cool social opportunities and experiences can't you? You pay for dinners don't you? Drinks at a club? Movies? Entertainment in general? Because thats what your dues cover, as well as insurance and stuff."

[Corsulian]

"Friends can be bought, Brothers cannot."

or, if you don't like the rhyming, "Brothers must be earned"

another good one is the high school senior comparison:

Homecoming, Winter dance = semiformal, etc
Prom = Formal
Senior Dues = Insurance
Yearkbook = Composite
All those after parties = all those parties
college application fees = new member fees

and so on...

[Lady Pi Phi]

You should just ignore it. If that's the best they can come up with, it doesn't even deserve a response.

[PsychTau2]

Originally posted by Corsulian
"Brothers must be earned"

Be careful with that one...they may hear the "earned" part and jump to the conclusion that you are hazing your NMs (they have to "earn" their way into the brotherhood, etc). Yes, we all know that "earn" means different things, and that the NM period is hard work, but someone who thinks you buy your friends probably won't hesitate to say you are hazing and use the above statement against you.

Honestly, smart people don't really think that paying dues means buying your friends. It's the people who have a need to argue who bring that up. Arguing back is just playing right into what they want. I'd just shrug it off...(and if they kept harrassing me with it I'd tell them they owed me $15 for my time!).

PsychTau

[moe.ron]

Nothing you can say will change their mind. So, just make some stupid remark. For instance: Hell yeah I paid for my friends, very cheap too.

[Tex1899]

YOU PAY DUES TO BELONG TO MOST ORGANIZATIONS. And at the end of the day, you can get a fair amount of the same experiences with an academic-based group that you can from a fraternity: friendships, people to study with, resume builder, leadership training, maybe even some social functions (less organized and parties aren't as big, nor do they follow the rules). You'll probably get connections to job opportunities, too.

But what you won't get are guys who'll come to your aid at the drop of a hat. The guys from the academic group won't be at your wife/child's funeral. And they won't serenade your wife at your wedding, either. And does the academic group tailgate?

You're not paying for your friends, your paying for more opportunities. In 20 years the guy who didn't want to "pay for his friends" will have 3 college buddies he keeps up with. The guy who joined a fraternity will probably have 20; 5 will probably be younger/older than him by several years and 5 will probably not even be from the same chapter.

Joining my fraternity is one of the 3 best things I've ever done. And I've gotten way more out of it as an alum than as an undergrad.

[lagirl33]

Another thing I've explained was that (this is probably specific to UCLA), it's actually a better deal financially to be part of a sorority. Dorm housing prices are unreasonable, and I save a few thousand dollars (this includes all of my fees) for getting the same number of meals a week. Plus I'm living in a much nicer house, with an awesome group of girls (the dorm floors don't have that same feeling). Rent in Westwood is very expensive, plus you have to deal with cooking, cleaning, roommates, landlords, etc.

And if that isn't enough, we have tons of events/support.

[squirrely girl]

the price deal was the same at BGSU - it was actually cheaper to live in the sorority house, pay dues, and get the house meal plan than it was to live on campus with the bare bones meal plan through the university. added bonus - friends, parties, and our big screen tv!

- marissa

[Rudey]

Just like I pay for my women.

-Rudey

[BobbyTheDon]

-I pay for my friends and I have more friends than you. Why haven't you switched to Geico?

-I pay for my friends, and I have more friends than you. But there is good news. You could save 15 percent or more by switching to Geico.

-Something's gotta pay for the beer.

-Why do you care? Are you jealous or something? Oh really? That's cool. Who are you again?

-Yep. I pay for my friends. I am rich and cooler than you.

and if all else fails, just beat them up.

[KSUViolet06]

The money goes toward so many things. Then I go down the list of what dues pay for.