Depledging a "loser" sorority?

crunchies · #1 10-08-2005, 05:57 PM

First of all, I am new to this board so I'd like to say hi to everyone.

Some background info. I am a sophomore at a competitive school in Texas and, though I never thought I would, I ended up rushing this year and accepting a bid to a sorority. I didn't know a whole lot about the Greek system here or rush or reputations when I was rushing (I was involved in completely different things last year). Anyway, I went into rush thinking I was doing all this to meet some new people, make some friends, and that I'd be happy wherever I woudl end up. I didn't know the sororities' repuations, and I didn't think I cared. It's been several weeks now since I've pledged and apparenlty the sorority I joined is known as the fat, loser one around campus. A lot of my fellow pledges have already quit becuase of this, in particular a lot of the girls I really liked and thought I could be great friends wiht. Our pledge class has like 10 people left, when quota was supposed to be in the thirties. Now, I would not depledge based on reputation alone (I am not that shallow and realize in the end, it's about the popele you meet- and I do like a lot of them) but I do not see the point of paying dues if association with the sorority will only give me a bad repuation around campus. (People in other greek organizations stop talking to you when they realize you are in this sorority, none of the frats will mix wiht us, etc). Also, so far it hasn't felt like we've been doing much. There has been one crush party, but it was really really lame, and one new member retreat that only about 4 people attended. I go for weeks w/o seeing any of the older members. My point is, it doens't seem like being in this sorority will even accomplish a fuller social life or more friends. So I want ot depledge, but am afraid I'll make a huge mistake, buecase the idea of life-long sisterhood and all that other good stuff really appeals to me, and I know I will probably not re-rush.

Any help would be really really appreciated.

carnation · #2 10-08-2005, 06:04 PM

(Carnation settles into beanbag chair with a huge Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and a monster bowl of popcorn)

James · #3 10-08-2005, 06:04 PM

Did you get any bids to the "winner" sororities with the bright, slender, pretty girls? If not, maybe this is your best fit?

If so, maybe you can make the best of it? You said you liked a lot of the people in the sorority.

Ultimately, friendship is really important to a lot of people.

I am sure the other girls on here will tell you how you kind of screwed yourself for a year because of wierd PanHell rules.

But . . . if you are bright, vivacious, slender and pretty and were just overlooked by all the other sororities on campus with superior looks and reputation . . . well you should have no trouble being picked up by one after a year.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #4 10-08-2005, 06:17 PM

pass the popcorn.............

I'll have snickerdoodles once I go back downstairs and bake some.

crunchies · #5 10-08-2005, 06:19 PM

I think the reason I didn't get into any of the better sororities was beucase, since rushing was kind of a last minute idea for me, I didn't bohter wiht such silly thigns as refs ( am truly not fat or ugly). As a sophomore at a competitive rush w/o refs I realize now that I was pretty much screwed. Which brings me to anohter question that's been lingering in the back of my mind. Does anyone here think re-rushing can ever be a good idea junior year?

DolphinChicaDDD · #6 10-08-2005, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
(Carnation settles into beanbag chair with a huge Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and a monster bowl of popcorn)

I loves me some Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. Right now I'm on a Diet Cherry Coke/Pepsi kick.

Kevlar281 · #7 10-08-2005, 06:20 PM

University of Texas? Just be thankful you even got a bid. IMO sitting out for year is not a good idea at UT. You will find it very difficult to get a bid as an upperclassman especially if you’re viewed as a cast off from a “loser chapter.”

epchick · #8 10-08-2005, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
(Carnation settles into beanbag chair with a huge Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and a monster bowl of popcorn)

I hope you brought enough Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper to share b/c that stuff is gooooood! lol.

Ok, my two cents---I wouldn't depledge. You said you really like the girls, so what's the big deal? If you aren't shallow (and you say you aren't) then reputations really shouldn't matter. So your part of the "fat, loser" sorority, why don't you continue and work towards getting that reputation changed. I always thought that being a sorority was about the friendship, the community service---not about which frat will mix with you. If you TRULY feel in your heart (putting aside all the hearsay and the rumors) that this is NOT where you belong, then go ahead and drop.

But really think about it this way.....50 years down the road what are you going to remember---the friendships and the bonding you did, or the reputation of being a "fat loser" sorority? That is what should really matter, because if you like the group of girls and the sorority in general, reputations shouldn't matter. When your old and gray and telling stories to your grandchildren are you going to tell them how people considered ya'll the "fat loser" sorority? Or are you going to tell them about the time when Betty Sue locked her keys in the car, in the pouring rain at Midnight after the last showing of the movie y'all were dying to watch, and how y'all had to walk 2 miles down the road to the nearest gas station dripping wet when all of a sudden these really hot guys come out of the store and see y'all? I don't know about you, but I'd take the memory over Betty Sue anyday...that is what's going to stick with u down the road. Don't be so preoccupied with stereotypes because as we all know, many stereotypes aren't true. I hope you just go with your heart and do what it really tells you to do. Don't let outside forces influence your decision or you will truly regret it!!

***Ok now pass the popcorn please. I have some Raisinettes if y'all want some!!!*****

#9 10-08-2005, 06:34 PM

I've got gummi worms/bears if anybody wants them. Carnation, can I please have some Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? That stuff's the best!

tinydancer · #10 10-08-2005, 06:39 PM

I've got a Hershey Bar I'll share.

And yes, if it's UT, you are probably SOL if you re-rush next year. This is likely true at any Texas university that is considered "competitive."

ISUKappa · #11 10-08-2005, 06:53 PM

Rushing junior year at a large, competitive Texas school, especially after depledging, is not a good idea.

If all you care about is the social aspect (and for some, that's what's really important and that's fine) and you feel your social life would be better as a non-Greek than as a member of this chapter, then depledge, but in the end we can't make this decision for you.

Keep in mind, sorority membership is for life. After you graduate and move away, if you decide to join an alumnae association, noone is going to know or care what reputation your chapter had when you were an active.

Tippiechick · #12 10-08-2005, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by crunchies
I think the reason I didn't get into any of the better sororities was beucase, since rushing was kind of a last minute idea for me, I didn't bohter wiht such silly thigns as refs ( am truly not fat or ugly). As a sophomore at a competitive rush w/o refs I realize now that I was pretty much screwed. Which brings me to anohter question that's been lingering in the back of my mind. Does anyone here think re-rushing can ever be a good idea junior year?

Sorry, but I doubt that recs were the sole reason for you not making into what you classify as a better sorority. If you want to make the best of your situation, go in with an open mind and flip a big ole' bird to everyone who says negative things about your group.

You accepted a bid. Why, if you were only doing so half-assed?

You know what? Either go into this whole-heartedly ready to give your new sisters a chance, as they have done for you. OR, quit. If you are only going to be looking down your nose at them, I am sure they'd be better off without your negative presence thinking you're better than them.

You should know that on a competitive campus, you will be looked at as left-overs. No one truly respects someone who accepted a bid and then de-pledged hoping to get in somewhere else. So, no... I think that if you rushed again, even with recs, you'd actually end up with NO bids.

Buttonz · #13 10-08-2005, 06:57 PM

OOO! Pass the Hershy bar! I got some jellybeans if anyone wants

SmartBlondeGPhB · #14 10-08-2005, 07:31 PM

Snicker doodles are done......

(but don't feel like you have to take any, they're my favorite)...

aephi alum · #15 10-08-2005, 07:37 PM

You have a choice to make. You seem to like the sisters, and evidently they like you, otherwise you wouldn't have been offered a bid. So you have to decide what's more important to you: your sisters - both in your chapter and elsewhere - and the lifelong bonds you'll form with them, or the sorority's reputation as "the fat, loser one".

Reputations change. It takes time and effort, but reputations do change.

Frankly, if you are at a school with a competitive rush, and you depledge and re-rush next year, you are unlikely to get any bid at all.

Carnation, I've never had Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, but it sounds delish - got some for me? And I'm baking chocolate chip cookies, if anyone wants