I used to work at a residential treatment facility for mentally ill adults. I had a client who claimed he could control the weather -- all he had to do was write what he wanted the weather to be on a piece of paper and throw it out the window.
Man, that was an awesome job. Someday I'll have to tell you about PENIS MAINTENANCE.
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A hiney bird is a bird that flies in perfectly executed, concentric circles until it eventually flies up its own behind and poof! disappears forever....
-Ken Harrelson