Moving...

SDTSarah · #1 08-25-2005, 07:28 PM

So my bf and I have been together for 2 years now, and I found out about a month ago that he's moving to San Antonio. To make a (very) long story short, things with his PhD program didn't work out, so he got out with a Masters and had to find a job. He's going to be working with one of his best friends and making a decent salary, but it's so hard to imagine him not here.

We've lived together for almost 2 years...I got a new housemate, but it's going to be so strange. We're going to stay together, since we do eventually want to get married, but I still have 1 1/2 years of school left. Anyone been through something similar?

litlbear1072 · #2 08-26-2005, 12:03 PM

My boyfriend and I did the long distance thing for 3 years. It is possible if you are both committed to making it work. It will be stressful and lonely at times but my suggestion is to do lots of stuff with your friends! I stayed busy enough when he wasn't around that the time just flew by. Hang in there! It will get a little easier everyday.

Kevin · #3 08-27-2005, 02:17 PM

My younger brother made it for 1-2 years (can't remember exactly). He went to Oklahoma U, she went to Furman in S.C. They're married now, so it can work.

ZTAngel · #4 08-27-2005, 02:20 PM

I did it for almost a year. My boyfriend moved to Atlanta for a PhD program and I stayed in Orlando to finish up some things with my job and spend some time with friends and family. It worked out fine. It made us appreciate the time we did spend together so much more. I made the move up to Atlanta a few months ago and we're currently living together.

SDTSarah · #5 08-27-2005, 03:40 PM

Thanks, guys. I'm just so tired of hearing people say that long distance never works...relationships don't work for a lot of reasons, period.

Buttonz · #6 08-27-2005, 04:52 PM

::hugs::

Arthur and I are dealing with the same thing when I leave for school, and I have 2 more years to go. I honestly believe if we re meant to be it will work out for us, and I think it goes for you also.

Just keep in touch, send cards and lil stuff to suprise each other, etc.

Good luck and I'm here if you want to talk.

AchtungBaby80 · #7 08-27-2005, 06:06 PM

I had a bad long-distance experience myself, but I know they can work. My boyfriend's old roommate dated a guy long-distance for, like, years...she lived in KY, and he lived out west, like in Las Vegas or somewhere. Now they're married. So like everybody else said, if you're both into making it work, you have a good shot.

James · #8 08-27-2005, 06:41 PM

Not to be cynical . . .

Its a cost benefit analysis.

You have to balance how unfulfilled you will feel, and for how long, with the eventual pay off.

After all, you could always just break it off with the person until you can be together again. That would be particulary apt for the "meant to be crowd."

Also, it depends on what you think "pay off" is. I wouldn't consider pay off to be marriage because there is no guarentee your marriage will be that good.

Basically, you will have to consider how good the relationship is right now, and then measure how long you will be have to be alone and see whether its worth it to have the same level of relationship you curently have.

Of course a lot of that is mitigated by how often you will see the person or the degree of attention you need.

As a side note: the longer people stay in a relationship the more likely they are to consider marriage in an attempt to "validate" the time and effort they put into the relationship.

I find that peculiar but true.

LightBulb · #9 08-29-2005, 07:38 PM

Been there, doin that.

My boyfriend and I have been together (and both in Memphis) over two and a half years, but (as of late July) he's now in west Missouri, and I'm in Virginia. It seems so long. It is hard to do, but it is getting better. We talk pretty much every day. Get the same kind of cell phone and a good long-distance plan.

And learn the lost art of love letter writing.

Or at least care packages. Things will get better, and if you're in love, I think you can make it.

emleepc · #10 08-30-2005, 03:44 PM

I'm in Bham, AL......he was in Florence, AL (2 1/2 hours away)....now he's in Columbia, SC (5 1/2 hours away).

Long distance stinks, but it can work. It's worked for us for 2 years so far...... hopefully I'll be moving there by January......

SuperSister · #11 09-02-2005, 06:42 PM

My bf and I have been together for 5 years. Three of those we were together at college in PA. I got a job and moved to NC for a year and it was just too stressful (a lot of reasons, not just the distance from him) so I moved back to PA but about 2 hours away from him and stayed there for another year. Now I'm living 3 1/2 hours away and he's looking for jobs in this area so he can move and we can start planning to get married. It can work but you have to be commited. We hit some rough patches but in the end we made it through stronger than ever.