What do you like to be called?

[christiangirl]

I thought this would be a cool topic on here, and I didn't see it anywhere else. My org. had a forum during Black History month and at one point the conversation turned toward men using the b-word at women. Then, it went on to how we are addressed in general. My old roommate brought up a point that no matter what term is used, there's always going to be SOMEBODY who doesn't like it. There's always going to be those who'll trip if they get called a "b" or a ho (even if by slang definitions, that's exactly what her behavior makes her) and there's going to be somebody who hates being called ma'am (makes them feel old), or miss (sounds condescending), or miss lady, etc. Then we discussed how the word "female" is sometimes used to instead of "b," but one girl was even offended by that. What do you guys think and what do you prefer to be called and why?

[fun4real]

Interesting, had never given this too much thought.

I do know that I do not like to be called maam. Just don't like it. I'm not young, but I'm not old either. Prefer my first name or Ms. first name.

For me, slang when addressing me is never appropriate. If it gets my attention at all, it will be a response with words similar to, "now boy, I know your mother taught you better" or "what if someone addressed your mother that way"

Usually I ignore it though.

[Marie]

Even though it doesn't work under all circumstances, I prefer to be called 'sista' by other African Americans. It isn't as formal as Miss or Ma'am, but I still find it to be respectful. Also, I think that sometimes the term female can be used in a derrogative manner, so I shy away from that as well.

'B' or Hoe are never ok.

[Wonderful1908]

Hmmm, I do not want to be called Ma'am I am only 27!!!

I also don't want to be called Ms. "FirstName" I notice this seems to be a Southern thing. I know its good manners but it reminds me of slavery.

As far as slang goes, someone I don't know calling me out my name no way, however my best friend and I call each other the "b" word, we use it and I know it probably would trip some people out but it stems back from college (hey that was 10 years ago) and we have never shaked it.

[Conskeeted7]

I don't like when people say 'honey' or 'sweetie' as if to be condescending. Lots of men do that and although it's not the b word, it's still not pleasant. I'd rather be called Miss or young lady than sweetie, by some stranger.

[Diva_01]

I don't like to be referred to as girl, yes, I'm in my early twenties, but I'm still paying ALL of my bills and living on my own,

and I can't stand to be called "young lady". To me it sounds condescending. Just call me by my name or miss if you don't know me.

Aww Wonderful, my Daddy's nickname for me is Miss and my name. He's called me that since I can remember. It's because I was always honest and straightforward, and a little "Diva", as they called me.

[SummerChild]

In general, I don't care as long as it's not disrespectful. So ma'am, Ms., sweetie, honey, whatever. I rather like a man referring to me by a term of endearment, even if it's not my father. My father always did it when we were growing up so I guess that I'm used to it so sweetie and honey don't bother me.

The only thing that I might be called that might be borderline for me is for a small child to call me by my first name. For instance, if my niece, 5, calls me by my first name, she gets corrected. I am Aunty Summerchild, not Summerchild.

I don't like to hear women referred to (or to refer to themselves) as females but I suspect that it's b/c it sounds ghetto to me (not b/c I think that it's disrespectful b/c I don't really).

Other than that, I'm not picky, don't really care as long as it's not disrespectful.

SC

Originally posted by christiangirl
I thought this would be a cool topic on here, and I didn't see it anywhere else. My org. had a forum during Black History month and at one point the conversation turned toward men using the b-word at women. Then, it went on to how we are addressed in general. My old roommate brought up a point that no matter what term is used, there's always going to be SOMEBODY who doesn't like it. There's always going to be those who'll trip if they get called a "b" or a ho (even if by slang definitions, that's exactly what her behavior makes her) and there's going to be somebody who hates being called ma'am (makes them feel old), or miss (sounds condescending), or miss lady, etc. Then we discussed how the word "female" is sometimes used to instead of "b," but one girl was even offended by that. What do you guys think and what do you prefer to be called and why?

[Gyrl7]

I would just prefer to be called my first name by co-workers and associates. I don't like the formalities.....like Miss, or Ms. and my first and or last name.

My close friends and family call me by the short version of my first name. I don't like for my nieces and nephew to call me Aunt First Name. I gave them permission to call me First Name although the still call me Aunt First Name.

Dr. 7 calls me by the short version of my First Name or Boo (which I absoltely hate........Boo)

[Sistermadly]

I prefer to be called by my first name if you know me, by my nickname if you know me well, or by Ms. (Last Name) if you don't know me at all.

[preciousjeni]

I like for children to call me "Miss [first name]" and for everyone else to call me "Ms. [last name]" - Ms. being pronounced "mizz."

I hate "Miss Lady" when it's followed by teeth-sucking or any other barbaric motion of approval. But, I think it's precious when older gentlemen call me that -- "Excuse me, Miss Lady, but could you help me up out of this chair?"

Oh, if people know me then they can pretty much call me whatever as long as it's been established that I like it!

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by SummerChild
I don't like to hear women referred to (or to refer to themselves) as females but I suspect that it's b/c it sounds ghetto to me (not b/c I think that it's disrespectful b/c I don't really).

It kinda grates on me because it's an adjective masquerading as a noun. Yep, ghetto to me as well.

[Jill1228]

Kids can call me Mrs. or Ms. F
My stepson's teammates call me Mrs. Coach (Mr. 1228 coached them)

Some friends and coworkers call me Jill or Jillybean

I actually prefer to be called by my first name

[christiangirl]

Originally posted by Marie
Also, I think that sometimes the term female can be used in a derrogative manner, so I shy away from that as well.

You know, that's interesting. The girl at the forum (our comm. service chair) had her own theory about why it's disrespectful. She said that "male" and "female" are more scientific terms, that the only difference between them are their genitalia. So, when a male says he wants to go "holla at some females" he might as well have said he wants to "holla at that p---y over there." Most people just at her, but she was quite firm in it. It makes sense to a degree, but I just don't see it that way. Has anybody else ever thought about it that deep?

And I definitely like it when guys call me Miss Lady, it's about the most respectful term I've heard since I got to college to tell you the truth. It's better than the more descriptive terms that are made to get my attention (e.g., "Lite Brite," "Bright-Skin," "girl-in-the-black-shirt"

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally posted by christiangirl
You know, that's interesting. The girl at the forum (our comm. service chair) had her own theory about why it's disrespectful. She said that "male" and "female" are more scientific terms, that the only difference between them are their genitalia. So, when a male says he wants to go "holla at some females" he might as well have said he wants to "holla at that p---y over there." Most people just at her, but she was quite firm in it. It makes sense to a degree, but I just don't see it that way. Has anybody else ever thought about it that deep?

I think very deeply about race and gender issues, but there are some things that we all take for granted.

She has a good point because it can sometimes be a form of objectifying women without being TOO disrespectful. You will rarely hear a guy say "I'm going to holla at some ladies." The fact that the person is a biological female (and presumably acknowledged as a woman) is of course the most important thing, initially. However, the TYPE of female (and woman) isn't specified. Are they being picky or does any female fit the build?

[mccoyred]

I prefer to be called by my FirstName...Ms. LastName unless I tell you otherwise, which doesn't happen very often.