Normal Contact: Friendship or Dirty Rushing

[TSteven]

I read on the Rushing at the University of Alabama thread the following.

The rule [prohibiting summer contact between sorority members and potential recruits] says that, excluding normal contact, no sorority members or alumnae may contact potential new members or their parents after the last day of spring classes. The Panhellenic Association defines normal contact as contact between relatives, friends, neighbors and co-workers and asks that each sorority turn in a list of these circumstances in advance, Thompson said.

The rule also says there cannot be an organized attempt to influence potential new members through letters, phone calls, summer recruitment parties, alumnae teas or beach retreats. Sorority members are also prohibited from asking any fraternity to invite potential new members to summer parties.

Would this apply to members from other chapters as well?

For example: at my hometown university, (small town, medium size college) there are five active NPC chapters and two inactive. All seven have alumnae in town. Thus there are a lot of 'local' women in sororities.

Now if a 'local' sorority woman ran into her best or a good friend (who is a recent high school graduate and will be rushing at another college), would she be allowed to "put in a good word" for her sorority at the other campus? i.e. "You know I'm an ABC here at Hometown U. I am sure you would love being an ABC at State U. as well. It's such a great chapter and sorority." Ok, I know I need to work on the dialog, but I think y'all get the drift.

Or say the ABC member is hosting (or going to) an informal summer party (non sorority specific) and invites the 'local' girl to attend. They are, after all, best friends. While the party is not a sorority sponsored party, it happens that all or most of the women there are ABC members. Or say it's a summer fraternity party and ABC women will be there. While they wouldn't necessarily be rushing the girl, they may be promoting their sorority - knowingly or unknowingly - via positive talk about their chapter and the sorority in general. i.e. "We are so fortunate to be ABCs since we get invited to all the best fraternity parties." I would imagine that this may influence the PNM when she goes through rush at the other campus.

So basically, what is normal contact? Where or what is the line between friendship (hanging out with friends who *happen* to be in a sorority) and dirty rushing (where the sorority member is *activity* rushing the woman).

Note: the above scenarios are not hypothetical. I have seen them happen first hand and would guess it still happens today.

[JenMarie]

To add, since I'm curious.

For a brief moment, I went to the same college as my cousin, who was in a sorority there. Upon my move into the dorms, we had dinner... as any family member would have done. Not to mention seeing her at various family events during the summer.

But she mentioned dirty rushing because I was a female freshman and it was the first week of school.

I didn't really see it like that because I had no intention of going through formal recruitment. But going along the friends at a casual summer BBQ that TSteven was mentioning... is it really that strict? I considered the dinner just two family members hanging out.

[ADqtPiMel]

One of my best friends went through rush at my school last January. It was really difficult for me to draw the line between friendship and what could be construed as dirty rushing at my competitive campus.

She did join my chapter, and she's now my little diamond sister.

[TSteven]

Originally posted by ADqtPiMel
One of my best friends went through rush at my school last January. It was really difficult for me to draw the line between friendship and what could be construed as dirty rushing at my competitive campus.

She did join my chapter, and she's now my little diamond sister.

I can understand how it would be difficult for you to draw the line in your situation. Your friend went through rush at your campus.

What I'm thinking about might be the girl who lives is say Tuscaloosa and is friends with students at Bama but will be attending say Penn State in the fall. Since best friends do these kind of things, the ABC invites her to go to the XYZ fraternity barbecue with her and other ABCs. Would hanging out with her best friend, and her best friend's sorority sisters, be dirty rushing if the ABCs chat about how wonderful it is to be an ABC?

[adpiucf]

I think the key is to be discrete and to not talk about sorority related things with PNM's during silence, regardless of whether you're an alum, attending the same university or different ones. During the rest of the year or prior to silence, I think it is acceptable to share that part of your life together.

[TxGirl]

In a word - yes. NPC promotes normal friendly contact. This means that if your cousin is in town you don't have to shun her b/c she will be going through recruitment in the fall at a school across the country. Same for women going through recruitment that turn up in you Bio class. No more, be nice at the recruitment event and act like they have the plague at school. Not that NPC ever intended that, but over the years that is what it has evolved to in many places. So, they came up with a more relaxed rule for incidental contact and left strict silence for the period after the final recruitment event and the when the women are given their bids.

What they don't want is contact (especially summer contact prior to fall formal recruitment) that is between certain PNM's and an individual chapter for the purpose of promoting that chapter to the PNM's.

If my cousin is in town and I'm having some friends over for a BBQ (sorority and non-sorority), I would think that is okay. But if the only reason you are having it is so your cousin can meet all your sisters and so they can tell her about XYZ then it's a no-no. Same goes for going to a fraternity function.

[tunatartare]

I'm not going to speak about rush in Southern and/or competitive schools because I clearly know very little about it, but I feel that if I had a good friend or cousin who was in a sorority whether or not it was in the same school as one I was in, I'd want to do that sorority just because of all the good things I heard about it, if that makes any sense. Sorry but it's been a long day at work and my brain is beyond fried right now.

[PhoenixAzul]

In a deffered situation like Otterbein has, where rush isn't until January...this comes up a lot. We are NOT allowed to invite unaffiliated, did not rush/ has no intention of ever rushing sophomore women into our house AT ALL, ever, just on the *off chance* they *might* get the inkling to rush. My roommate and I were going to the store, and I had to run to the sorority house and get my keys...my poor roommate had to stand outside in the cold while I went inside. My roommate will rush when they manufacture ice cubes in hell.

But for women who become close to freshmen, it gets very sticky...because you are friends fall quarter, and then winter quarter, BAM! Nothing. One of my sisters got invited to dinner with a *Group* of people, men, women, PNM's, etc...and she sat and ate dinner with them at an off campus restaurant. Everyone bought their own. No talk of rush was made. But someone began crying "dirty rushing" on us. Fortunately, the complaint has to be filed by the PNM, not the sorority that thinks it happened, within 24 hrs. Otherwise, it would turn into a witch hunt.

[DeltaEtaKP]

We have Greek Silence and deferred recruitment, as well... Thank goodness, though that it is not as strict as Otterbein! Recruitment is during the first week of classes Spring Semester, so our silence lasts that week, and that is all. The PNM's can't talk to guys after they go to Theme Night (I think, it may be after pref night)
It was REALLY hard for me this year because two of my really close friends are independents (One because she dropped another sorority, and the other because of grades). Anyway, there is NO WAY that either of them could go through recruitment, so I thought it was pretty dumb I couldn't talk to them. Especially during that week, when it is like RUSH, RUSH, RUSH... and it would be nice to take a break w/ people who don't care.

[flirt5721]

Here we can have contact with PNM at an event (sorority) only if there is a member of another sorority at that event. We also have info tables during the summer. I think that we are allowed to talk about our chapter (basic info) as long as we also promote Greek Life. As for non-sorority events I think that we can. The only ones that are really on strict rules are the Gamma Chi's (recruitment counselors) Although if we do talk to PNM we have to be very careful with what we said. Especially when explaining bids. Some of the rules are kind of hard to define as what is normal and what we can and cannodo.

[bekibug]

It's like TxGirl said. If I ran into a girl I went to HS with at a ball game or the mall, then I could talk to her, just not be like "OMG you should so totally go AZD because it's the best!" I could say something about what to wear/do/not do and speak in very general terms about what recruitment is like, but not talk up my sorority like it'll be the end of the world if she doesn't pledge it. That's what recruitment week is for. If my best friend were rushing across the country, same thing. The key is not to "rush" a girl outside of an actual recruitment event and ESPECIALLY not to bid-promise. That's dirty rushing and dirty rushing=no bueno.

[summer_gphib]

It's been a few years, but...

We could talk to girls, but as the others said, had to be careful. I know, personally, we would just talk about rush (or recruitment) and say things like... "just going through rush is a great way to meet a lot of different people. Most of the time, you meet girls in every house that you become friends with. Even if you decide not to join a sorority, you meet people in all the houses, and your fellow rushees."

[PhoenixAzul]

We also have the rule about "not discussing sorority/rush unless a member of at least one other sorority is present". But really now...Suzie Rushee comes up to you after Underwater Basketweaving and asks you a question, are you really going to say "hold that thought" and rush and grab Jane Doe XYZ? I don't think that encourages "normal contact", because normally, my contact is to say what is what, and talk panhellenically about things. I shouldn't need another sorority girl padlocked to me to tell a girl that "yes, BC has the best grades on campus, and XG has the most sisters, and yes TBS won Greek Week. " Grr. This is the point at which defferred recruitment really bites, for lack of a panhellenic term.

[TxGirl]

You really shouldn't talk about the bid process outside of recruitment week - if you are mistaken in what you tell her it could make her not go through or make bad decisions during recruitment. The Recruitment Counselors are usually trained some in the semester prior to recruitment, but they get a lot more in the week before recruitment. I just wouldn' want to tell someone something and it be incorrect.

The other big no-no (and this is another reason not to talk about the bid process) is bid promising. This is the worst thing any sorority member can do. It makes it hard (if not impossible) for the woman to go through recruitment with an open mind. Even if she knows you can't guarantee her a bid, it's still in the back of her mind that you can somehow pull some strings.

Like I said earlier, NPC is all for friendly conversation. But like bekibug said, it shouldn't have anything to do with your chapter or "rushing" her like you would during formal recruitment. So, talk about recruitment and greek life in general terms, but leave it at that.