dark vs. light

[RHOyal-Silence]

i am a very attractive (if i may say so myself ) female who happens to be dark-skinned. over the years a few guys have come up to me and said "You are cute to be dark-skinned"
has this ever happened to you??
is this to say that dark- skinned females are generally not attractive?
i had to correct these young men on their choice of words which offended me coming from black men.
if you have ever been in this situation, how did you feel?


------------------
the sexiest ladies in the world are laced in rubies and pearls.

[SoloRHO]

Soror,
I have to say that this has never happened to me. And I hate that it happens at all. But I also hate the flip side when guys seem to "automatically" think girls are pretty because they are lighter in skin tone. Either way I think it is a bad mentality that many people have. We've been "taught" that lighter pepole with long, straight or curlier (in essence "good") hair are more attractive. This image is pushed at us in so many ways.
I recently visited the message board for one of our sisterfriend orgs. They were discussing good hair vs bad hair. And one of the sisterfirends made a comment that it seems like on TV the "image" of black women is alwyas some light sister with good hair. This bothers her, as it should. I'm not saying that this image isn't beautiful (because all people are beautiful), but it isn't the epitome of beauty either. We have to get past that color line in society and especially amongst our own people. It only divides us more when we cant see the true beauty of each other as black people and also as human beings.

[RHOyal-Silence]

U KNOW,
I'VE EVEN HAD PEOPLE TO TELL ME THAT I SHOULD NOT GET MY HAIR CUT BECAUSE "THERE IS NOT THAT MANY DARK-SKINNED PEOPLE WITH LONG HAIR!!" HOW ABSURD IS THAT :MAD:

[RHOyal-Silence]

I TRIED TO GET THE MAD FACE PICTURE UP ABOVE!!

[A_RHOyal_Delight]

I've noticed that this is still going on and I've also experienced the flip side of the ordeal with my beautiful sisters saying that they wouldn't date a guy lighter than they were because he would be too conceited. Looks and wether someone is darker or lighter goes with a person who want's to be in control of things and that my friends is a truly sad person. I don't judge anyone, because if I am being treated right then I am happy. I've heard of people only wanting to date those who they felt didn't look as good as them. It's a control factor. People who don't have control of their lives want to try and control everything else. It's sad but it will continue to go on unless you take a stand. Whenever someone says something that you don't agree with, even if it is supposed to be a joke, don't stand for it and let your position be known.

Delight

[CodeBlue_R3]

As someone who is neither a chocolate nor high yellow in compledxion I have never been in this situation. But I have been in the situation where I hear the light skinned girls are beautiful and dark is ugly. That also comes along with the long, curly, and wavy hair is cute while short and kinky is not "good" hair. I myself am like a melting pot of races but I refer myself to basically being a woman of "black" heritage. In my opinion this complexion thing is just another way to put people within a race against each other. But then again everyone has therre preferences it just takes someone with a good heart to break the stereotypes they hold. I say this because I have a thing for brown to dark skinned black men. *I dont care for* light skinned black men. But I see white, italian, indian, asian mix, and puerto rican men that I would consider dating. So its not necessarily always a stereotypical thing with each person.

[Interested_Lady]

RHO-Silence I know what you mean. I'm not what most would consider light nor am I dark. I used to worry about stuff like this, but I don't anymore because it seems to me that black woman or all complexions are all out of style at the same time.

Complexion does not make a person more or less attractive, but for those unconscious black men and women co-existing with us, let them have their opinions.

[CodeBlue_R3]

In addition to my last comment I would like to add that don't sometimes you find yourself thinking "um...He look good to be a white boy" or whatever the race. That doesn't necessarily say that you think all white men are ugly but you are saying that maybe he meets the style of man you would like to be with.

[ridiculous2000]

GREETINGS,
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT PEOPLE DO SAY STUPID THINGS. IT IS NOT ONLY WITH THE DARK VS. LIGHT, BUT ALSO BIG SEXY VS. SKINNY. I CONSIDER MYSELF AS A BIG SEXY LADY (VEY SEXY). ANYWAY, MEN HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE TO BE SO VULUPTUOS (BIG SEXY). BECAUSE I AM FULL FIGURED, DOES THAT MEAN THAT I HAVE TO BE UGLY. SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TO WAKE UP. IT IS RIDICULOUS.

[Professor]

Originally posted by SoloRHO:
Soror,
I have to say that this has never happened to me. And I hate that it happens at all. But I also hate the flip side when guys seem to "automatically" think girls are pretty because they are lighter in skin tone. Either way I think it is a bad mentality that many people have. We've been "taught" that lighter pepole with long, straight or curlier (in essence "good") hair are more attractive. This image is pushed at us in so many ways.
I recently visited the message board for one of our sisterfriend orgs. They were discussing good hair vs bad hair. And one of the sisterfirends made a comment that it seems like on TV the "image" of black women is alwyas some light sister with good hair. This bothers her, as it should. I'm not saying that this image isn't beautiful (because all people are beautiful), but it isn't the epitome of beauty either. We have to get past that color line in society and especially amongst our own people. It only divides us more when we cant see the true beauty of each other as black people and also as human beings.

W E L L Said! From a male perspective, and I know you may not like my comments, but we all have likes and dislikes. Your posts remind me of a conversatin about discrimination by the majority and minority. The fact of the matter is that we all discriminate. For those that say they don't it is normally because they don't say what they think, i.e. I prefer a lighter skinned sister but would never come out and state to a darker skinned sister that could be a reason why I don't find her attractive.

Post Scrip: I don't care what the complextion as long as she is a lady and has
herself together and that includes credit.

[Shelacious]

Hey my sister-sorors from SGRho...

I thank God my family never brought me up in this "light vs. dark" debate. Maybe because everyone on my mother's side of the family is dark, it just was never an issue. Therefore, I have dated men darker than me, up to men a shade under white. Now like the Professor said, everyone discriminates. What attracts me physically to men are beautiful teeth, well-maintained hands/feet, well-manicured facial hair, well-lined hair, etc. In other words, the things I like on men are regardless of hair texture/skin complexion. Most importantly though, he must be intelligent!
-shela


------------------
Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

[MIDWESTDIVA]

First of all I have to LOL at Rhoyal silence for saying she is attractive is she does say so herself! No self esteem issues there!

On a more serious note, I remember reading an article in Essence magazine where a Black man was explaining his rationale for only dating light skinned Black women. To paraphrase him he said that he does find some darker skinned Black women attractive, however he is not attracted to them. And that we shouldn't have a problem with this, since light skinned women are Black and at least he chooses to be with a Black woman and not a White woman. I was outraged by his article. Why does this grown man not yet know that all Black women are beautiful? Only we can be so diverse in our beauty. This is a very sad continuation of the house slave/field slave mentality. You would think that in the year 2000 we would be past this way of thinking.

Yes, I agree with Profesor, we all discriminate. I personally prefer taller men (at least 5'10"), with intelligence and a spiritual relationship with our Creator. However, I don't have any preferences where skin color is concerned. I love all shades of Black men.

------------------
We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.

Aesop c550 BC

[SoloRHO]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
This is a very sad continuation of the house slave/field slave mentality. You would think that in the year 2000 we would be past this way of thinking.

I think its sad also Midwestdiva.
But Im kinda torn on the question of whether or not we'd be past that issue. If u thnk about it, we were IN slavery longer than we've been OUT of slavery. And the "brainwashing" that went on, has not been erased by this culture, but actually perpetuated. Im not making excuses for the thinking. But the plain truth is that too many of us still dont KNOW that "Black is Beautiful!". I actually know girls who say their grandmothers used to make them wear a close pin on their nose so it didnt spread and become to "negro". I've heard lighter skinned girls say their moms used to make them come in from the sun, before they got "too black". This is just in the past half century!!
I don't know yall. If we want this to stop, we have to keep having these discussions and educating each other. I know it hurts when we put each other down.

SoloRHO
PEACE: Proper Education Always Corrects Error