Now you're a member......

[sphinxpoet1]

That is the age old accusation! But I put it to you like this Soror no change can come about unless you allow it. As a Bro once told me "when you are in a greek lettered organization your personality does not change it only gets magnified because people are now watching you" This means that you are still the same person you were before. If you were stuck up before you will be stuck up after just more people will now notice it because you are a member of the Org. Like the Sphinxpoet for example before he had Millions of fans now he has Millions and Millions of fans

If Ya Smell What the Sphinxpoet is Cooking

[DztndDiva]

One of my fellow Sorors told us this "You might as well be the President of the U.S. the way everybody is watching you!" And that is so very true. You're always going to have people all in your grill eithier because they want to be where you are or they can't stand where you are. You might have expierienced it b4 you were greek but afterwards it gets worse.


A Defying Diva of DST

[Professor]

Yea to all - you are right! after crossing the first thing peole say is that's xyz and he or she is an Alpha or AKA! Sometimes its a hard task but we strive and do "Hold Up the Light!"

[112Soul]

It's a funny feeling when your friends make it and you don't..... (excuse me for 'memberin') but we were friends BEFORE they got their letters, then it's not a problems. WE ARE STILL COOL.

It's also funny because you get see who your friends really are and who you got to bond with, and who was trying to use you for info....

112

[AKA4MJ]

Now that you or a person you know very well have become a member of their respective org, how do you handle the change?? We all say that we don't change, but to some extent there is a change in our demeanor or personality. For instance, if you or a friend were both trying to make the same line and only one of you did, if and how did this affect your relationdship???? Sorors and fellow greek friends how do you "Keep it Real" with your friends....

[revolutionary]

One of my best male friends just became a member of a BGLO. I wanted to join a Black sorority but didn't make it. Now that he's a member he has more things to do and we don't spend as much time together. I let him get away with that since he's reveling in his new found brotherhood. The only "strain" comes when he talks about Greek things because I, having not made my org, don't really want to hear about it. But I don't say anything because it's natural for people to talk about what's going on in their lives and we talk about everything. But he's still the same person and I am very happy for him!!

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

hmmm...spinxpoet1 i agree that it is an age old accusation that folx "change" after they pledge. and although it hurts to hear it said...we can all agree that in some cases (all of the people around my age that i know "changed") it does happen.

for some the change is negative. i know a guy who i went to high school with. we were kind of in the same circle...the brainy, yearbook, newspaper, quiet group...he didn't have a date to prom and had a very small group of friends. we went to the same large state university. he pledged. and he "changed" a'ight. now that he had those letters he was an azzhole! and although he and i stayed relatively cool...i could not respect the way he treated others. maybe it was payback...but i often asked him did he remember what it was like to be kicked around. he did...and didn't care anymore now that he had his greeks.
okay on the other hand...i had a friend who was a jerk...plain and simple. but very popular with everyone...except for the folx she picked on. but she went to school...pledged...came back...and was this giving, loving, community-minded individual. she admitted pledging changed her life.

now on to aswering the question. i know that i would be more busy. but that is the moment when you have to remember that no matter what those letters on your chest don't add up to the years you spent loving your friends. so maybe...its just like getting a promotion and your friends don't...you make a little extra time to chill with them...and let them know...while i got a new fam over here...my partners will always be my fam!

peace

*sorry it was so long*

[miss priss]

I wanted to know from my sisterfriends did your friendships/relationships change? or would you drop your friend if you were told it was in your best interest to do so?

[littlelady93]

Unfortunately I have learned that some people will quickly drop friends in order to be a greek, which is sad because part of the reason of joining a sorority is sisterhood, right. I went through my fair share of tears last semester after learning the truth about a few of my so called "friends". I also learned who really were my friends, and I feel blessed to of gotten rid of the bad apples in the bunch. One thing I learned is that it is ironic that the ones that will do anything to become a part of xyz organization are the ones that just realized thier interest and don't have any sound, sincere reasons for joining. How can you walk over people to be a part of something you recently had interest in? I've seen girls change before even receiving letters, which is sad, especially when they still haven't received them. I know who I am, and I am proud to be me. Despite my interest, I am not lacking or unfullfilled in my own life due to not being greek. If those so called "friends" were greek before me, I would never look at them with envy, how could I envy someone that I know is empty without their letters Part of the reason that I like greek chat is that you can't tell the difference in anyones post before or after they become greek.

[Happydaysf91]

A lot of times I've found out, it is not the Greek person who has changed....nor is it your old friends. It's simply the fact that you have found something new and you are excited about it...learning, still bonding and etc. However, people who are not in that circle don't understand that....they don't share that excitement. Therefore, when you (the greek person) start hanging out with your 'new' friends (read Sorors/Frat) or go to a party that's 'greeks only'....., your old non-greek friends don't understand (just one small example).

It always baffled me when people say...well she's changed. In my experience, the person hasn't changed at all -- 1. you really didn't know the person or 2. the person is just exploring other interests that may/may not involve you (so be happy for them!)

[miss priss]

Originally posted by Happydaysf91
A lot of times I've found out, it is not the Greek person who has changed....nor is it your old friends. It's simply the fact that you have found something new and you are excited about it...learning, still bonding and etc. However, people who are not in that circle don't understand that....they don't share that excitement. Therefore, when you (the greek person) start hanging out with your 'new' friends (read Sorors/Frat) or go to a party that's 'greeks only'....., your old non-greek friends don't understand (just one small example).

It always baffled me when people say...well she's changed. In my experience, the person hasn't changed at all -- 1. you really didn't know the person or 2. the person is just exploring other interests that may/may not involve you (so be happy for them!)

hmmm interesting point.....did you ever have to drop a friend Hf91?

[pretty edAKAted]

when i crossed, nobody thought i changed.

Everyone was just so happy I became an AKA so I could stop bugging them about "have you heard about any parties, do you want to go with me to thier community service project, do you take any classes with AKA's, do you want to go with me to their ball, etc.."

I have wanted to be an AKA since elementary school, so imagine being my friend for 5 or so years and talking about AKA just about all day and what I'll do if I become an AKA. With that said, 90% of my friends (college and grade school) have crossed AKA, and they haven't changed either.

So no, I didnt change, nobody thought I changed and none of my friends changed.

[nikki1920]

HF91, you have a point. But what can also happen is the person's reaction to you becoming greek. I've wanted to be a Zeta for a long time, and went thru some rough times on my journey to Zeta. My best male friend from high school always rolls his eyes when I mention anything greek. Does that mean I get rid of him? No, b/c he understands that Zeta is important to me. I think what some people forget is that being Greek is only a PART of who you are. Letters should not define who you are.

LL93, I'm sorry you had to go thru that.

[Happydaysf91]

No....I've never had to drop a friend......However, I have heard that infamous line, you've changed. I just looked, like what the heck are you talking about......

And if I had to kick a friend to the curb because I became greek (or vice versa), then we really weren't friends in the first place.

[Paradise359]

Well nobody has told me I've changed. One friend did tell me that once I became an AKA she would feel funny being around me. I do agree with Soror Happydaysf91 b/c usually your "friends" change b/c they expect you to be a certain way now. So now everything you do is "...ever since you crossed..." when you were doing these things all along.

My b/f tries to act up sometimes when I want to chill with my sorors but I remind him that he met me as an AKA so that's part of the deal