Post funny things from the interweb

Lil' Hannah · #1 08-03-2004, 03:56 PM

Come on, make me LOL.

Lil' Hannah · #2 08-03-2004, 03:58 PM

jharb · #3 08-03-2004, 04:25 PM

I'd be happier if that shirt said "Teh Interweb is AWESOME!"

Lil' Hannah · #4 08-03-2004, 04:32 PM

go thread, go!

Dionysus · #5 08-03-2004, 06:03 PM

obsession with language - spelling and grammar

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i *think* this post could be placed in this forum...

please tell me i'm not the only one who's extremely *annoyed* (yet somehow strangely "happy", for want of a better word...;-) when he or she finds a misspelled word or a sentence that's really *badly* put together!

one of my best friends has dyslexia, and so i'm *not* talking about laughing at this kind of problem...

it's just that i feel that if someone's gone through all the trouble of printing a magazine/newspaper/book/pamphlet or something "public", they should/could at least have checked the spelling and grammar!

finding a really glossy and expensive-looking brochure with bad spelling and/or grammar is (almost) like *christmas* to me!

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sure am - i'm working on "the great swedish novel"!

seriously, though: i've *always* been a writer...
my first "book" was a little thing i wrote in 3rd grade: "the cat eyes in the closet" - a thriller that was *very* scary!!!

i *"love"* writing and languages (do i come off as *too* weird-sounding if i admit to reading dictionaries and thesauri just for *fun*?!), and i also *"love"* reading!
i recently read john steinbeck's "east of eden" (in english), and it was *amazing*!!!
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What's wrong with this picture?

Dionysus · #6 08-03-2004, 06:18 PM

not funny at all, but it caught my attention...

Bio: I was conceived one fateful lunch-hour when my nymphomaniac mother decided to fuck my dad while he was taking a shit. So it's no wonder why I'm so fucked up. At a very young age I discovered that i liked to destroy things (stabbing things in particular). I made my first kill on my first and only day of school. Some little cunt stole my heroin so I stabbed him in the heart with a pair of safety scissors (the company who made the scissors was sued not long afterwards). This was also the first time I noticed I had a boner and I proceeded to skull-fuck my victim, thus discovering my love of skull-fucking dead bodies. I spent the next seven years in a strait-jacket in an insane asylum. They tried to teach me to worship God and Jesus Christ but I decided that if God truly existed he/she/it would have ensured I was aborted as a fetus to stop me from enacting my evil before I got the chance. I also decided that if there really was a Jesus Christ that he was a stupid cunt who ate too many psilocybin mushrooms and gained a cult following of cunts even more stupid than he was and they ate too many mushrooms and nailed him to a cross. After seven years in the insane asylum, I finally figured out how to escape my strait-jacket and I waited for the night watchman to make his routine check on me and I ripped out his throat out with my teeth and, naturally, skull-fucked him. I stole his keys and ran to freedom. I had been dreaming about this day for years because nearly the whole time I was incarcerated, I had a painful craving for vagina. I figured I wouldn't have enough time to get a girlfriend and fuck her before being caught by the authorities, so I decided I would have to turn to rape to get some pussy. The time of my escape was rather convenient because there was a bevy of nuns walking down the street a few blocks from the insane asylum and what better way to spite the soul-soliciting religious cocksuckers I was forced to congregate with for the better part of a decade than raping a nun. I followed the nuns until one of them strayed a little behind and I grabbed her by her head, covering her mouth so she couldn't scream and I pulled her into an alley where I knocked her out with a brick I had found and raped her (vaginally and anally). It was the single greatest feeling of my life for I had broken free from my shackles of oppression and shoved them up the ass of the "lord" (metaphorically speaking). Since then I have been on the run from town to town seeking shelter wherever I can ,usually graveyards so I can fulfill my necrophelic lust, raping killing and skull-fucking whoever/whatever I can on the way. I always make sure to carry a good sturdy shovel wherever I go. Aside from the obvious digging I need to do in the graveyards, shovels are excellent weapons. Keep an eye out for me. I may temporarily reside in a graveyard near you.

Memories: 1 entry

Interests: 12: bass guitar, comedic movies, horror movies, killing, making bongs, marijuana, metal, porno, punk, raping, rock, skull-fucking dead bodies. [Modify yours]

FAB*SpiceySpice · #7 08-03-2004, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
not funny at all, but it caught my attention...

Bio: I was conceived one fateful lunch-hour when my nymphomaniac mother decided to fuck my dad while he was taking a shit. So it's no wonder why I'm so fucked up. At a very young age I discovered that i liked to destroy things (stabbing things in particular). I made my first kill on my first and only day of school. Some little cunt stole my heroin so I stabbed him in the heart with a pair of safety scissors (the company who made the scissors was sued not long afterwards). This was also the first time I noticed I had a boner and I proceeded to skull-fuck my victim, thus discovering my love of skull-fucking dead bodies. I spent the next seven years in a strait-jacket in an insane asylum. They tried to teach me to worship God and Jesus Christ but I decided that if God truly existed he/she/it would have ensured I was aborted as a fetus to stop me from enacting my evil before I got the chance. I also decided that if there really was a Jesus Christ that he was a stupid cunt who ate too many psilocybin mushrooms and gained a cult following of cunts even more stupid than he was and they ate too many mushrooms and nailed him to a cross. After seven years in the insane asylum, I finally figured out how to escape my strait-jacket and I waited for the night watchman to make his routine check on me and I ripped out his throat out with my teeth and, naturally, skull-fucked him. I stole his keys and ran to freedom. I had been dreaming about this day for years because nearly the whole time I was incarcerated, I had a painful craving for vagina. I figured I wouldn't have enough time to get a girlfriend and fuck her before being caught by the authorities, so I decided I would have to turn to rape to get some pussy. The time of my escape was rather convenient because there was a bevy of nuns walking down the street a few blocks from the insane asylum and what better way to spite the soul-soliciting religious cocksuckers I was forced to congregate with for the better part of a decade than raping a nun. I followed the nuns until one of them strayed a little behind and I grabbed her by her head, covering her mouth so she couldn't scream and I pulled her into an alley where I knocked her out with a brick I had found and raped her (vaginally and anally). It was the single greatest feeling of my life for I had broken free from my shackles of oppression and shoved them up the ass of the "lord" (metaphorically speaking). Since then I have been on the run from town to town seeking shelter wherever I can ,usually graveyards so I can fulfill my necrophelic lust, raping killing and skull-fucking whoever/whatever I can on the way. I always make sure to carry a good sturdy shovel wherever I go. Aside from the obvious digging I need to do in the graveyards, shovels are excellent weapons. Keep an eye out for me. I may temporarily reside in a graveyard near you.

Memories: 1 entry

Interests: 12: bass guitar, comedic movies, horror movies, killing, making bongs, marijuana, metal, porno, punk, raping, rock, skull-fucking dead bodies. [Modify yours]

Oh my jesus, that is just wrong.