How do you know?

Dionysus · #1 09-29-2002, 05:30 PM

This question is addressed particularly to NPC sorority members because of the formal recruitment process.

With the brief contact that you have with PNMs at formal rush, how can you tell if they are going to be good sisters?

With that brief contact the only things that you will be able to find out is their: general background, surface personality, and a few interests. However, you probably cannot find out that a certain PNM is a psycho, b*tch, backstabber, sorority hopper, klepto, devil worshipper (j/k), whore, etc. right away, unless they have a hard time hiding it.

AlphaSigLana · #2 09-29-2002, 06:36 PM

that's the scary part you just don't know. We've given bids to girls that seem so sweet and innocent and they turned out not to be. We;ve had girls seem to be good members and then deactivate. We've also dropped girls that are awesome. I wish our recruitments were more like fraternities.

gphiangel624 · #3 09-29-2002, 08:31 PM

Thus the reasons why I wish we could still have summer rushing events and none of the stupid "freeze" periods where PNMs can't hang out with/talk to (etc) active members (unless the PNM and active know each other from some other walk of life such as work, high school buddies, family, etc).

AXJules · #4 09-29-2002, 08:48 PM

Unfortunately it's just one of those things...
Some of the strongest leaders and hardest workers in my house are COB's- funny b/c we really got to know them and hang out with them several times before offering them a bid. Then you look at some of the girls we got from formal rush who don't do anything at all

Kinda makes you wish the process could be different

three2tango · #5 09-30-2002, 12:24 AM

It does seem dumb that you only have what really boils down to a few seconds with a PNM but, even if you had 45 minutes with each girl for several days what difference does it make? Think about who you were the second week of your freshman year. I bet you were completely different the second week of your sophomore year, junior year and so on. Sooo, really even if you presented the "real" you at the time the "real" you is ever evolving.

I personally did some really "sketchy" things when I was in high school that I would never think of doing now. I am more open minded than I was and still very closed minded at the same time. Don't take the whole situation so seriously it really just isn't that big of a deal. The bigest sorority at my school was ADPi, everyone wanted them they are after all the "First and Finest." My sorority was second from the bottom and I really wasn't sure if I wanted to be associated with that "stigma."

Now that I am older and much wiser I know what the bigger picture is and I am very confident that my glo is by far the superior one on my campus. But what difference does it make? None. There really is no difference in the glo's we are all about the same. So just keep your head up high and continue to work hard to be the best sister/brother you can be.

And since I know you are wondering, I am a DELTA GAMMA GIRL.

aephi alum · #6 09-30-2002, 09:27 AM

Dionysus, good point - at many schools you do only have, say, 20 minutes to see each PNM before deciding whether to cut her. That's not nearly enough time IMO.

My school has an unusual setup for first round, more of an open house than scheduled parties with predetermined lengths of time. If you divide your time evenly, you can spend 1-1/2 to 2 hours per sorority and get to meet several women and have good long convos with each. This gives both sororities and PNMs a good solid basis for making their decisions.

Letters of reference (I think that's the new term?) can help. They allow an alum to give her sorority a heads-up that a fantastic woman is coming through rush, or alert them that psycho-b!tch will be rushing soon.

Deferred recruitment also allows the PNM to establish her reputation on campus. If she's a klepto or a whore, you'll know it by the time rush comes around. By the same token, if she's a sweet girl who's jumped right into on-campus activities and community service, you'll know that too.

FuzzieAlum · #7 09-30-2002, 11:42 AM

Folks, it doesn't matter if you know the girl for 50 years before you give her a bid - she can still surprise you.

We had second semester rush, so we saw a lot of the PNMs before formal rush. I remember one girl who really liked our chapter. I would see her in the cafeteria all the time, and she was always talking about things like how she had gotten so drunk she couldn't remember the weekend ... the guys called her one of "the freshman hos." We dropped her ASAP during rush ... yet the most popular chapter on campus kept her.

Another girl was very gung-ho AXD. We were all impressed with her energy and enthusiasm. Well, imagine your absolute nightmare member ... she did EVERYTHING you might be afraid a sister would do. Turns out a sister knew her from high school and knew she was trouble ("but I didn't want to mention it because you all seemed to like her").

From the girl who starts off gung-ho and disappears to hang out with her boyfriend by her junior year ... to the girl who nearly depledges but sticks around and becomes a chapter leader ... people are growing and changing a lot in college. Hopefully, they're changing for the better, but unfortunately, a lot of people go through rough patches. You can look at their record, but the girl who has been sober, steady and reliable for four years of high school can go off the deep end partying.

AXOLiz · #8 09-30-2002, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
This question is addressed particularly to NPC sorority members because of the formal recruitment process.

With the brief contact that you have with PNMs at formal rush, how can you tell if they are going to be good sisters?

Two words: You can't.

You just have to try to find girls who are within the "good fit" range, which for some chapters is larger than others. Our chapter was pretty diverse in all ways, but others on campus were more set on the "type" they would take. So you look for girls that seem to mesh well with the chapter as it stands and give them all the opportunity to grow, become leaders, and help strengthen the chapter for the future. In the end, though, you really don't know.

I think everyone has the girl that was the "perfect" PNM that ended up causing more than her share of problems, and the PNM that came out of nowhere to become a strong chapter leader. It happens all the time, you just hope for more of the good than the so-so.

nauadpi · #9 09-30-2002, 01:20 PM

I wanted to add that many a time in the amount of time you are given to talk to these girls you dont know if they will fit in with your chapter. But many a time you can find the outstanding ones that will not in anyway fit in, usually because they have there mind too set on one specific chapter. The other factor is that they are deciding if they will fit in with you too...Because of that, people seem to find a way to where they fit. Or when it comes down to it many will start there time as a new member and will not stay. People do not want to stay where they feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, so it generally works out in the end. But still there are some people who slip through the cracks...I know with my chapter though, many of its members joined through COB...I know even I did.

lionlove · #10 10-08-2002, 02:30 PM

I guess this is where deferred rush at my school helps. At my school you can't go through rush until your third semester (fall of sophmore year) or if you're a transfer, you must wait until your second semester on campus. By the time they're sophmores, we know these girls from classes and other activities and we aren't forced to rely on a 20 minute conversation.

Tom Earp · #11 10-08-2002, 06:00 PM

No, You never Know!

I was at a Chapter function one night and several Brothers came to me and were talking about a New Assoc, who was booted!

They ask me to intervine (sic) and I did!

I asked a question of some of the Senior Actives and they said it was none of my business as they ran the Chapter! I was not kind! Precious thread.

Well to cut to the chase, he was a stalker! Had done it several times! His Dad came into my shop and chewed my ass out!

I gave them the advice, if it was a proven fact, then so be it but do not keep it a secret from me or any of the of the other Brothers Alum or Active. We do not have this young man in our Fraternity today!

One never Knows, the only thig you can do is go by insttincts and do the best you can!

TKESweetheart · #12 10-08-2002, 06:24 PM

I personally think that NPC should have rush in the Spring and all PNM's should be AT LEAST a second semester frshman before rushing. That would eliminate a lot of girls who come through and look "awesome" and turn out to be dead weight. Nothing like pledging a class full of girls that can't maintain grades. it also gives the PNM's time to be on campus and casually observe the sororities and the sororites to get to know girls (in their classes, through other orgs etc.) Beginning in college at 18 ( forget abouth the ones who go away to school-aaaaargh how stressful!!!!!)it stressful enough I think. Then you could have the summer events-but you couldn't rush/pledge them yet!

sororitygirl2 · #13 10-08-2002, 06:34 PM

TKESweetheart, While there are total pros to deferred recruitment (as you mention in your post), it also has a negative side. When girls get to school, there are some that are already only willing to consider the "top" houses. Now imagine when they are there for 5 months and are constantly hearing about how certain chapters are ugly, etc... This can really hurt the weaker houses. Also, sometimes girls develop close networks of friends in their dorms and get busy with other clubs and decide they don't want to rush in the spring.

There are pros and cons to both sides... I personally am in favor of fall recruitment, preferably the week before classes begin.

DZetaBiotch · #14 10-08-2002, 10:31 PM

Well, if you go to a really big school, having spring rush would help only a little bit. 1200 girls go through recruitment at my school, and there are upwards of 30,000 undergrad students. How are you going to know who every single one of those PNMs are?

In my house, if we know a girl going through rush, we are supposed to fill out a little card on whether we think she would fit in our house or not. Obviously this has to be a valid reason- it's an honors system that depends on whether the sister writing the card is being fair and open-minded about the girl, and not just malicious and bitchy. If the card has a valid reason, then if she is on the borderline between lists this card can often make the decision. We also utilize recommendations a lot too.

33girl · #15 10-08-2002, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
TKESweetheart, While there are total pros to deferred recruitment (as you mention in your post), it also has a negative side. When girls get to school, there are some that are already only willing to consider the "top" houses. Now imagine when they are there for 5 months and are constantly hearing about how certain chapters are ugly, etc... This can really hurt the weaker houses.

Well, the flip side of that is that if the girls know whatever the rep is and don't care, then you know they are there because they WANT to be, not because they don't know any better and you "pulled a fast one" on them.

In case you can't tell TKESweetheart, I agree with you

. I would like to know, while we are on this topic, if there's ever been a study of member RETENTION (not rush figures) for first semester vs. deferred rush.