"Baby's Mama"-- the song

[bluethunder]

Okay, let me know what you all think of this one:

This morning, as I drove to work, the new song by the latest American Idol, Fantasia, came on the radio. It's called "Baby's Mama."

Now, let me preface this by saying that I LOVE Fantasia's voice; I rooted for her the whole entire season that she appeared on American Idol last year and I am glad that she won...but I had an issue with this song:

The song is talking about being a "baby's mama" in the sense that she gives props to all the single moms out there who are taking care of business-- going to school, working hard, not looking for a handout, who are striving to be the best moms they can be, despite that they, for whatever reason, are having to do it all by themselves. I, too, give props to all the women out there who are doing this...
however, this song struck a nerve with me in that I don't particularly care for the whole glorification (for lack of a better term) of being a "baby's mama." I in no way condemn anybody for getting pregnant--or impregnating anyone, for that matter-- outside of wedlock; to put it simply, life happens and sometimes we have to adapt and overcome. For those who succeed in so doing, i give credit where it is due. However, as my grandma often said, if you make your bed, you have to lay in it. Nobody HAS TO BE a "baby's mama", nor a "baby's daddy." I mean, you make a child, you are SUPPOSED to take care of it and all the responsibilities that come with it--if you are a male or a female. In our society, when relationships bust, children typically stay with the mother and she shoulders most of the subsequent responsibility; I am not saying this is right, but that's how it tends to be. And I know it is often hard to raise a child while attempting to better oneself, but that's a situation that didn't necessarily have to be...I have issues with calling anybody a "baby's mama" or "baby's daddy" first of all because of what it connotes, but then I wondered A: why do we continue to give props to people who are only doing what they SHOULD be doing, especially in light of the fact that their circumstances are, at least in part, the function of their own doing and B: where is the song for all the ladies who went to school, got an education, got a vocation or career, keep their heads up who made a point NOT to become a "baby's mama"? where's that song at? i mean, what if a man made a song called "baby's daddy" giving props to all the men who, even though they broke up with their lady, continue to pay child support, no matter how much strain it put on their check? Would the implications be the same? What do you all think? What message does this send?

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorhor,

I believe that you said it all! I can't argue with your opinion. It's clear as crystal to me!


Serioussigma22

[TRUBLUBU2]

you know, i've been hearing this song on tom joyner's show. on the surface, it SOUNDS nice: has a good beat, is catchy, has (sort of) positive lyrics...but the song irritated me for some reason. i kept wondering why i didn't like this song; however, i soon concluded why i was annoyed:

Originally posted by bluethunder
[...] where is the song for all the ladies who went to school, got an education, got a vocation or career, keep their heads up who made a point NOT to become a "baby's mama"? where's that song at? [...] What message does this send?

we are ---> here <---

THANK YOU, SISTA GREEK for expressing this idea so ELOQUENTLY!

[Honeykiss1974]

Great post bluethunder.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

I like Fantasia, but dislike this song for all the reasons stated above plus I don't like songs where people spell words out.

[4NIC8]

I heard this song on The Tom Joyner Morning Show this morning and I thought I was the only one shaking my head in my car. I thought maybe I was just being "uppity" (for lack of a better word) But I just didn't like the MESSAGE behind the song. You know where in the beginning they have sort of a baby mama roll call and if you pay attention, you notice that all of them are black and have "ghetto" names. It's such a poor representation to me of single mothers, particularly black single mothers.

Good Post, BlueThunder!

[CrimsonTide4]

Hmm I have never heard this song. Based on you all's posts, it sounds like something I would veto anyway.

I agree with what you said, bluethunder, our society glorifies this "baby mama" status. I hate to even hear those words. **shudder** You are a single mother or a single father. Will you still be a baby mama or daddy when the child is 18?

Yeah where is my song: college educated but broke because you are paying off student loans, la la la la
Babyface needs to get on it.

[SeriousSigma22]

Folks,

TRUBLUBU2 you are so very right! Why don't they create a positive song about ladies that aren't "Baby Mommies."


Serioussigma22

[BirthaBlue4]

Originally posted by bluethunder
B: where is the song for all the ladies who went to school, got an education, got a vocation or career, keep their heads up who made a point NOT to become a "baby's mama"? where's that song at?

Most people in this situation don't make a point of becoming a baby mama/daddy, some just bite the russian roulette bullet, so to speak, but I get your point

My sister-soror was playing this song when we were on the phone, and I was appalled. That whole term, "on tha streetz" if you will, is not said in a particularly positive light. Its usually the ghetto sista with 50-leven kids, on welfare, with 2+ babydadies. Sorry, but that is not me. My daughter's father uses that term to refer to me and I cringe ever single solitary time, because that is NOT me. I don't take any props for what I do, because I'm supposed to. Regardless of what he does or doesn't do, what I gotta do is irrelevant. I hate when people expecta cookie for living life. That's just plain dumb and triflin. I've heard guys say they didn't have to take care of their kids, so they're special. Excuse my language, but BULLSHIT! You make it, you deal with it, end of discussion.

I get what Fantasia was trying to do, but the title just messed it all up for me, sorry.

[rho4life]

This song irks me to no end. Why are we glorifiying [sp?] doing WHAT YOU SHOULD DO????? You're supposed to take care of your responsibilities, be it your kids or paying your car insurance on time. I co-sign for the request for the song about the college educated women who are working hard to pay off their student loans. Where's my anthem for doing the right thing????????

[BlueReign]

This could be your big break. A "response" song to this ghetto glorification of a song that I haven't heard and don't want to.

[SeriousSigma22]

Ha Ha Ha!

Sorhor Bluereign you are too funny! The key word is be responsible.


Serioussigma22

[jojapeach]

When I first heard the song, I didn't care for it too much. It's like an anthem for one of America's big problems of single parents. But on the flip side, it probably is encouraging to some "baby mamas" (Soror BirthaBlue4, I feel you on your disdain for that title) at really tough moments when they think they might give up or they have a nanosecond of regret for their decision(s).

This is not so much of an anthem that you'll hear it blaring from every car you pass, but it should help at some moments, not at all times.

But I'm with y'all. Can I get a song for women who want to teach our children and provide a good role model on a consistent basis (in the classroom), but there are countless hoops to jump through to enter a field with a supposed shortage? What about the song for the thousands of people who earned a college degree just to find themselves working a terrible, bootleg job when they just knew that degree would be the beginning of a great career?

Yes, y'all touched a small nerve.

[TRSimon]

Cause that straight couldn't have been me when I got out of college. One of my closest friends is a teacher who is working on her doctorate, and between the low pay, administrative hassles and bad kids/bad parents, y'all need an album or something.

Song title ideas:

A corporate receptionist makes more than me.
Your kid has to do the work, no matter how much you clown.
I gotta come out of pocket for supplies, again?


TRSimon


There is always the Sallie Mae Blues for all those who are still paying the student loans

[BlueReign]

Talk about jumping through countless hoops! And I'm so tired
Tired, tired, tired, tired.
I've got the


school teacher blues....

I got up this mornin
looked outside
couldn't get it together
and I felt so bad
wanted to quit yesterday
and I wished that I had

I've got the.....


School teacher blues yall.