I wonder how many PNM's we have messed up on GC.

[James]

Seriously.

So many young impressionable girls come asking us young, and not so young, impressionable people . . . advice on a major life shaping decision that I would place on a par of picking which college to go to or which job to get.

And we give advice according to our inclincations.

At times we encourage the hopeless, "Oh my yes, at 40 with a 1.8 GPA you can definitely get a bid during SEC Formal Rush! Keep rushing each semester until you do!"

Othertimes we nudge people into doing what is unwise for them: "You can find a home anywhere, make sure you join the chapter that is populated only by social lepers with a foul stench and is likely to close at any moment!"

Sometimes we do it by misleading them: "Just try it! You can always drop out of pledging! (And we murmur sotto voice, of course then you can't pledge for a year and have the stigma of pledging the Leper chapter!)"

And then after four years of encouraging them to pledge unsuccessfully or nudging them into joining a group that gave a equivalent of the social experience the living dead get . . . we drop the BOMB:

"You go where you are meant to, obviously it was just Destiny or the Work of God that no sorority wanted you or you went to the one everyone else thinks sucks ass."

But wait, I am not done! Just as we have crushed them, and then told them that God Himself/Herself made them completely socially undesirable we say: " Well, don't feel totally left out, you can always AI!"

And not only do we do all that, we do it with the same sort of grim cheerful implacabality, and wide eyed internet grins of Cheer Camp Victims strung out on Crack and ecstasy.

I think we need to take a moment of silence in appreciation for all the PNM's we have just thoroughly confused and fucked up in some desperate attempt to be nice.

To all of you PNM's out there, I swear we are sorry and meant well.


The End.

[Lindz928]

LOL

James is the funniest guy ever.... Just want to make sure everyone knows that.

[KSUViolet06]

I've often wondered the same things. I often wondered if it was illegal around here to say "Sorry things didn't work out. Greek life isn't for everyone."

[kddani]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I've often wondered the same things. I often wondered if it was illegal around here to say "Sorry things didn't work out. Greek life isn't for everyone."

actually, the past few rushes, a lot of us have been campaigning for people on here to make more truthful statements like that one. It's worlds better than it used to be.

Though those of us who try to be realistic get told we're mean and all sorts of things.... though i'd rather be mean that falsely build up someone's hopes

[Darlinglilred]

I was Panhellenic VP for my campus this year and I actually did talk to the girls who did not recieve bids and told them like it was;
"Sorry sweetheart t hey aren't saying that you're not a fabulous person because you are, and you're completely welcome to come out again next year but keep in mind that greek life isn't for everyone and you don't have to be a sister to hang out with these girls."

[navane]

James, I love you.


.....Kelly

[KSUViolet06]

Let me clarify. There is nothing wrong with encouraging a freshman rushee at a large SEC with a fabulous GPA and loads of extra curriculars who quite possibly could've just been overlooked, to do COR/COB.

I however do, find something a bit misleading about encouraging the junior at a large SEC school who barely has a 2.0, ZERO other activities, and has already been cut twice, to try again senior year. I think his point was that there comes a time when we need to stop suggesting that people put themselves through it again when alot of people here know from experience that they won't get a bid.

[TxAPhi]

from a greek life website - wish they all said something like this (maybe they do though as I haven't seen them all )

Is Greek life for everyone?
Greek life may or may not be for you. Educate yourself on the Greek community, as well as the numerous opportunities for involvement in other campus organizations.

[alphaalpha]

Originally posted by Darlinglilred
I was Panhellenic VP for my campus this year and I actually did talk to the girls who did not recieve bids and told them like it was;
"Sorry sweetheart t hey aren't saying that you're not a fabulous person because you are, and you're completely welcome to come out again next year but keep in mind that greek life isn't for everyone and you don't have to be a sister to hang out with these girls."

If someone said this too me i would be upset. The idea that i am still allowed to be friends with girls would make me feel like someone was saying, gosh we will talk to you, but you are not good enough for us to be close friends.

I know that its just me, but if it happened right after rush where emotions are running high i think that i would have taken it the wrong way. I would know now that a person has the best intensions, but sometimes even if a person is the nicest sweetest person in the world, things that person says can still be taken as an insult (or the wrong way) given emotionally high situations (any situation not just rush).

Just something to think about

[Glitter650]

While people sometimes do blow proverbial sunshine here at GC, I think that's what people come here for sometimes. They are going through a hard time... ( I KNOW I would've been crushed if I ended up bidless) and NOTHING anyone can say will make it feel better, but having people try is at least more comforting than dwelling on WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. That doesn't excuse blatant NON truths like a transfer junior with a 1.89 getting a bid at Bama, but honestly they know if their GPA was too low, or if their school takes ONLY freshmen.
I think most of them know the truth and just aren't ready to face it.

AlphaAlpha I agree "greek life isn't for everyone, you can still hang out with these girls" is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing I would've wanted to hear if I didn't have a bid.

[Darlinglilred]

I think I should clarify my comment, the "you can still be friends with these girls even if you aren't their sister" was said when a girl protested that she couldn't still be friends with her roomate because her roomate got a bid and she did not.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I however do, find something a bit misleading about encouraging the junior at a large SEC school who barely has a 2.0, ZERO other activities, and has already been cut twice, to try again senior year. I think his point was that there comes a time when we need to stop suggesting that people put themselves through it again when alot of people here know from experience that they won't get a bid.

This is what we've been trying to drill into GCers heads for years and there's some that still don't get it. GCers think they're being nice and encouraging by telling girls not to give up or that the sororities made a huge mistake but I think it only hurts the PNM in the end. Sometimes, it's better for the PNM to realize that greek life just isn't for her rather than have some GCer constantly telling her to keep on pursuing something that is really out of her reach.

ETA- I got a PM once telling me that I was mean for telling a girl that was going through rush at my school (UCF) that being a senior is a huge disadvantage. I told the girl she could try but not to be surprised if she gets cut heavily. If I am mean for telling the truth, then I enjoy being mean!

[shadokat]

We've been through this about 300 times, in terms of those who blow sunshine up a PNM's butt, and then those of us who have been told we're mean or whatever because we're realistic.

To all PNMs visiting this site, you don't know us from Adam, and the same applies to us. Make choices that you are comfortable with, and take everything you hear with a grain of salt. But when someone is honest with you and says, "hey, you're a junior and UF doesn't do juniors very often, especially with a 2.2", take it as advice of someone who knows. Nobody's trying to burst your proverbial bubble...just offering you some advice to save you some trouble.

And as always, greek life isn't for everyone, and anyone who tells you it is, they're lying. Enough said...

[GtownGirl98]

Amen Sister!

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by Glitter650
While people sometimes do blow proverbial sunshine here at GC, I think that's what people come here for sometimes. They are going through a hard time... ( I KNOW I would've been crushed if I ended up bidless) and NOTHING anyone can say will make it feel better, but having people try is at least more comforting than dwelling on WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. That doesn't excuse blatant NON truths like a transfer junior with a 1.89 getting a bid at Bama, but honestly they know if their GPA was too low, or if their school takes ONLY freshmen.
I think most of them know the truth and just aren't ready to face it.

Seriously. I think people are misunderstanding the purpose of the PNMs here. If a girl comes onto GC, she knows we're not going to be able to say, "You didn't get in because of that bad conversation you had with the second rusher during skit round." She wants us to blow sunshine up her ass. She wants to us to say that there is a chance she can still be greek. If she was relying on logic, she would just decide not to go through again on her own, because she knows the chances are slim of being accepted the second time. She wants us to say, from the sorority girl point of view, "OMG we take people who we've cut before ALL the time!!!"