is this for real? (religious)

[Wine&SilverBlue]

check out these links, all from the same site:


http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html

http://objective.jesussave.us/mallmission.html

http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyflag.html


I'll wait to hear your thoughts before commenting, but if this is real, I think it's a bit overboard..

[Senusret I]

Hey, Habu...How many Gods do you have?

Insane.

I thought it was cute for a minute, but it clearly goes into an area that I'm not comfortable with.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

I LOOOOOOOOVE Professor Griffenstien and his Pepper Moth buddy.
Something ironic about a classic example of evolution/adaptation/fitness being used to promote creationism.

[Munchkin03]

Z is for zealousness!

I wonder if they have PRAYER CIRCLES.

[Wine&SilverBlue]

I love the entire mall section. Especially stuff like:

* "Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets."

* The more cryptic or unusual sounding, the better, since it will cause the person to be curious as to what you are talking about. Some good examples are:

* "Jesus will save you more than 50%... He'll save you 100%!"
* "Salvation is one size fits all!"
* "Why go to a Gap when you can come to Agape?"

and my fav:

* J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
* Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
* Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
* Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to hide their true intentions.
* Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?
* Hallmark Gold Crown Stores - Purveyors of Santamas tree ornaments depicting anthropomorphized woodland creatures (reference to Evolutionism) and Harry Potter merchandise. What notable person will have a mark and wear crowns? [Rev. 13:16, 13:1]

[Optimist Prime]

I laughed my ass off at the elephant. Hahaha, he lost count. The Giraffe freaked me out though. People who believe that dinosaurs live in the ocean and would feel safe sitting next to a T-REX should be allowed to have children, or computer access, or any civil rights, and should visit my new summer camp.

[lifesaver]

From the plotical standpoint, I find it really interesting that the illustration they use of santa is blatiently anti-semetic. Looks like it was done by one of the SS artists in WWII Germany.



Who knew Santa was a russian jew?

[preciousjeni]

I couldn't tell if it was a joke at first. That's a little...no, a lot frightening.

[FHwku]

Fred "Skeet" Hoskins

*"his own youth ministry rock band: Zounds!"

*"...recently appointed Abstinence Czar by the Fellowship Baptist Convention."

Czar Skeet looks like he's the devil and just ripped off pieces of dead people for a ghastly disguise.
------------------------------

so many things are wrong with every part of that.

Can't you see you're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock n' roll worse.

-Hank Hill

[RedRoseSAI]

No way. I simply can not believe this is real:


"Oh no! Lambuel is late for Church! Can you help Lambuel get to the Church on time while avoiding temptations along the way?"

[RedRoseSAI]

Wait, wait...this is even better:

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

[KatieKate1244]

I think this website is just a spoof. It reminds me a lot of Landover Baptist. It's just way too over the top.

Landover Baptist

[Wine&SilverBlue]

they warn about landover baptist lol.. i think its real.. but im not sure

[KatieKate1244]

Yeah, I just saw that.

OH WAIT! If you desire to purchase stickers to save "Mall Rats," you are taken to a website that is run by CafePress. There, you can buy a THONG. I doubt any Conservative Christian group would allow such a thing.

[CanadianTeke]

I liked the bit on Last minute shoppers:

The closer to December 25, the more likely they will be to completely abandon their Secular Consumer lifestyle on the spot. If you are targeting these lost souls, be sure to bring a van so that you can take them back to your Church for counseling and emergency baptisms.

now thats just a tad bit creepy, reminds me of flanders breaking open the emergeny baptism kit for the simpson kids