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11-10-2003, 02:20 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southeast Asia
Posts: 9,026
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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11-10-2003, 02:27 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Oh my goodness! That is the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. Thank you for posting! 
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11-10-2003, 02:34 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The beach
Posts: 7,948
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Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Quote:
Originally posted by moe.ron
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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LOL
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ZTA
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11-10-2003, 02:39 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile High America
Posts: 17,088
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The chicken crossed the road because firemen wear red suspenders.
Ok, that was stupid.
That first post is seriously funny!
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The above is the opinion of the poster which may or may not be based in known facts and does not necessarily reflect the views of Delta Tau Delta or Greek Chat -- but it might.
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11-10-2003, 02:42 PM
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BRITNEY SPEARS: The chicken crossing the road wasn't my idea, honest!! The chicken just mentioned that it would like to cross the road and it was really into it. I can't believe people are making such a big deal of it. It was just a chicken crossing a road.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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11-10-2003, 03:00 PM
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CHARLTON HESTON: The chicken crossed the road, and its our right as God-fearing American citizens to hunt him down and shoot him.
Kitso
KS 361
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11-10-2003, 03:34 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 638
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HE HE...Very funny
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11-10-2003, 03:37 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Somewhere in the Continent!
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Funny and Cute!!!
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ESF
Growing Strong Since 1995!
The Trolls have taken over the Asylum!
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11-10-2003, 04:20 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southeast Asia
Posts: 9,026
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George Tenant: I wouldn't say the chicken was an al Queda member, but we have some fairly solid information that puts the chicken in Niger and negotiating to buy uranium.
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11-10-2003, 04:45 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: In the Happy Home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers that sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes!
Posts: 723
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Bill Clinton:
I did not have sexual relations with the chicken...
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11-10-2003, 05:20 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 1,725
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These are great!
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11-10-2003, 07:29 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
Posts: 23,584
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Stupid Chicken saw a Hot Squirll across the other side and wanted to play spank the monkey! 
Oh, this did not sound like the Mouse Ka Teers of Sex did it? 
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11-10-2003, 07:42 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: chicago, il
Posts: 5,112
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Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Quote:
Originally posted by moe.ron
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
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sing this to the tune of 'imagine'. hilarious!!
CHRISTINA AGUILERA: I just think that the chicken needed to cross the road. Because by staying on one side of the road, he wasnt being true to himself. If it was a cat crossing the road, no one would say anything. But because it is a chicken, people have to say something negative. They are just uncomfortable that a chicken is comfortable with their individuality.
Last edited by smiley21; 11-11-2003 at 05:52 AM.
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11-10-2003, 10:34 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: partying like it's 1999
Posts: 5,199
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Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
LOL I love this thread. I got it as an email a while ago but I lost it  so now I'm really happy someone got it and posted it.
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11-10-2003, 11:18 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: el paso, texas, usa
Posts: 6,071
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the chicken was looking for weapons of mass destruction and barely missed finding jessica lynch.
silly chicken.
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