Sisters Swiping Clothes

carnation · #1 11-28-2004, 11:50 AM

I. Have. Had. It. Did any of you ever deal with a sister who swiped your clothes and didn't give them back? One of our college daughters has been bad about this over the years but now that she's in college close to here, she makes raids during the day when we're all gone. We could put locks on the closets but it's like locking the gate after all the cattle are out.

We could try to raid her dorm room or her bf's apartment but I don't know how we'd pull that off. Her sisters who are in college have taken their entire wardrobes with them bc of her but it stinks for the ones who are still at home.

_Lisa_ · #2 11-28-2004, 12:46 PM

Isn't that what sisters are for? To share clothes? My sister & I constantly raid each other's closets without asking. If something goes missing that I'm looking for then I just call her up & ask her for it. No big deal.

carnation · #3 11-28-2004, 01:01 PM

The key is that first, Swiper Sister should ask and second, she should return it. Neither of these is happening!

_Lisa_ · #4 11-28-2004, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
The key is that first, Swiper Sister should ask and second, she should return it. Neither of these is happening!

I don't know, maybe its just the way they are used to working, especially since you have so many daughters. But since its just me & my sister (we don't even live in the same house, but we still love to swipe each other's clothes) I know I don't have to ask & I only return if she asks me for it. Same goes for her. A lot of clothes that I wouldn't wear or no longer fits she borrows & keeps & it doesn't go to waste gathering dust in my closet.

lifesaver · #5 11-28-2004, 06:24 PM

Call her out on it and explain that its a big deal to everyone else and that her behavior is uncool and her rights stop where everyone elses begin.

KillarneyRose · #6 11-28-2004, 06:25 PM

Maybe let your girls put locks on their bedroom doors?

DGqueen17 · #7 11-28-2004, 06:34 PM

I'm glad my sister is only a 4T.

wrigley · #8 11-28-2004, 07:21 PM

If she's coming into the house and taking clothes without permission while no one is home, sounds like its time to for her to lose house key priviledges.

Her sisters should confront her and explain why she's no longer welcome to borrow their clothes anymore.Cut her off completely. Also she has 3 days to return the things she's taken or pay to replace the missing items if they are not in good condition.
They can tell her you and Mr. Carnation approve this decision.

As for getting access to her dorm room call the dorm director of her building explain as her parent you need get some items from her room that she borrowed from you and are unable to get ahold of her. I've never known administrators to deny a parent access to their child's room.

In the boyfriend apt., call the boyfriend and ask if he or roomate will be there at a arranged time and explain you need to pickup clothes she borrowed because they need to be drycleaned.Or get their permission to have the building manager let you in.

Good luck.

KSUViolet06 · #9 11-28-2004, 07:34 PM

If it's truly a problem, you're the mom, say something to her about it and get locks put on the other kids doors.

Peaches-n-Cream · #10 11-28-2004, 07:44 PM

My sister used to do this to me when I was 15 and she was 14. I wanted to wring her neck. My mother put a lock on my door, and I was the only one with the key.

There also might be an underlying problem. Ask her if she needs new clothes for college. She might be embarrassed to tell you that she needs new clothes because she has changed sizes. Maybe she just doesn't have enough clothes. Or maybe the clothes that she has aren't as fashionable as her sister's.

As far as her entering your house without your permission and taking clothes, talk to her. Tell her that she has a week to return all of the items or replace them or you will change the locks. It might scare her into returning them.

Munchkin03 · #11 11-28-2004, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
As for getting access to her dorm room call the dorm director of her building explain as her parent you need get some items from her room that she borrowed from you and are unable to get ahold of her. I've never known administrators to deny a parent access to their child's room.

Ummmm...no. As someone who currently works in a residential hall, it takes much more than "I want to get in my child's room" for a parent to gain access to the student's dorm. For us, the parent has to have not heard from the child for a number of days and security has to have a valid reason for keying into the resident's room--ie, no one has seen the student recently, or there is no record of student access into their building or dining hall. In other words, deanery or student affairs personnel won't entertain a parent's request to get in their child's just because.

I would say, if it's a serious problem, allow your other daughters to get closet keys.

Lady Pi Phi · #12 11-28-2004, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
...As for getting access to her dorm room call the dorm director of her building explain as her parent you need get some items from her room that she borrowed from you and are unable to get ahold of her. I've never known administrators to deny a parent access to their child's room...

OH NO!!! I don't know what school you go to, but I highly doubt it an andministrator would allow you access to a students room, even if it is your child. I know my university would NEVER have allowed that.

While she shouldn't be borrowing things without permission, it's not right to "break in" to take them back. That's stopping to her level and doesn't really make you any better than her.

_Lisa_ · #13 11-28-2004, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
OH NO!!! I don't know what school you go to, but I highly doubt it an andministrator would allow you access to a students room, even if it is your child. I know my university would NEVER have allowed that.

Neither of the two universities I went to would allow a parent to enter their child's dorm room. That was the greatest thing about going to college, because even if your parents were paying for it, everything from your grades, to your campus medical records, to your dorm room was private from your parents unless you chose to share it with them.

carnation · #14 11-28-2004, 11:47 PM

Well, I'm betting that she's stored some of them at the bf's apartment anyway and I can just see us asking the landlord if we can break in. LOL!

But--we could handle this easily when she was in high school. When your kid is in college, it's harder to apply discipline! I mean, you can't force the kid to hand over the clothes (especially if she claims innocence)--what are you going to do, ground her?

About all we can do is to withhold money for extras until she comes up with the clothes. And if she doesn't, she'll be out a lot of money but that won't recover her sisters' favorite clothes.

NeonPi · #15 11-29-2004, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
But--we could handle this easily when she was in high school. When your kid is in college, it's harder to apply discipline! I mean, you can't force the kid to hand over the clothes (especially if she claims innocence)--what are you going to do, ground her?

About all we can do is to withhold money for extras until she comes up with the clothes. And if she doesn't, she'll be out a lot of money but that won't recover her sisters' favorite clothes.

Frankly, I would tell her she won't be getting tuition unless everything is returned (in whatever shape) by a certain date.

My parents did that to my sister and it was remarkable how quickly everything was returned to my mom and I !