Should I leave?

[angelic1]

Ok- I am in a situation here in which I don’t know what to do. I would have added onton an old post, but each case is different.

I am currently not happy at my job.

Its very stressful and we are constantly under huge time deadlines for production reasons, plus the pay is not good at all for what I am doing and how much work they expect of me, and not to mention there is only one person working here that I actually enjoy working with. (One of the people who was my “trainer” is definitely the worst of all. She gets on my computer without asking, not that I have anything on here, but she does it to look over my shoulder, she reads faxes I send out, and is just plain nosey not to mention she is always very condescending to me.)

The problem is I have only been working here for going on seven months and since a majority of what I do is not something you wouldn’t necessarily learn in school, they have spent a lot of time training me thinking I will be around for a while. They have even point blank told me that they would be upset with me if I left.

The thing is I want to begin applying for other jobs, but I would need references, which I couldn’t get from here at all, and this is my first real job, and I just know if they found out that I was looking they would fire me. Has anyone else been in this situation?

I am thinking about taking my concerns to my boss, but there isn’t much they can change to make me like it here. I guess at least they won’t be blindsided by me wanting to leave.

Any thoughts on this?

[APhi Diva]

Originally posted by angelic1
The problem is I have only been working here for going on seven months and since a majority of what I do is not something you wouldn’t necessarily learn in school, they have spent a lot of time training me thinking I will be around for a while. They have even point blank told me that they would be upset with me if I left.

I haven't been in your situation, but my advice is to GET OUT. If this is your first job out of school, you are way too young to be miserable! There are a million things you could do and you do not want to wake up 5 years from now and realize that you are in a career or work environment that made you unhappy from the get go....As far as worrying that your company will be upset if you left because of what they've spent training you, don't give that a second thought! If the company wanted to fire you, they would do so without hesitation, so don't give them consideration that they wouldn't give you!

As far as the references go, I do think that is a legitimate concern, but most people looking for jobs are likely also in that situation (i.e., leaving one job and don't want to tip people off that they are going/piss people off by asking for a reference) so I am sure there is some way that this is handled....

GOOD LUCK!

[AChiOAlumna]

Let's take this one step at a time...first you said there's nothing redeeming about your job. I worked at a job that I also hated, however I was getting something from that job that I couldn't get from any other job experience. Is this the case at all for you? Once I got everything I could possibly get from that job, I left. I had exhausted all my potential from that job.

Second...you say there's no one you like there...not one person? If this is the case, then you don't have much support and not much opportunity to network. This is another red flag for you.

Third...

... they have spent a lot of time training me thinking I will be around for a while. They have even point blank told me that they would be upset with me if I left.

This is THEIR problem, not yours...don't make it your problem. The old adage of, "everyone is replaceable" is true. My position (that I referred to above) required the person to have a Master's Degree in Counseling AND be fluent in ASL...how common is this combo? I was told by my supervisor how upset she'd be if/when I left. Well, I dropped the bomb with a resignation letter and she cried...but I'm out and happy and she isn't....and life went on in the office without me. It'll go on without you too...they'll get over it.

The thing is I want to begin applying for other jobs, but I would need references, which I couldn’t get from here at all, and this is my first real job, and I just know if they found out that I was looking they would fire me. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Fourth...has anyone said they'd actually fire if you were looking for another job? I doubt it as that would be a reason to sue the company for improper termination. You may not be able to get references from them, but actually, if you've never talked to your boss about this, then there's no way s/he knows how you really feel. S/he may even be willing to write a recommendation if s/he knows what's really going on...you could even use a copy of your review (if you've had one). I had to do this as our company had a policy that our supervisors couldn't write letters of recommendation. I took my last review, deleted personal info (like SSN) and submitted this as proof of my comptency.

The thing is you still have SO much time in your life..and lots to learn about the business world...this is a GREAT opportunity for you...use it to build up your learning experiences and then continue on your career path with that experience behind you...j

Good luck!

[angelic1]

Thanks for the replys.. I am thinking along the same lines. As soon as I get a new job I am leaving here.

I shouldn’t be miserable at my job no matter what since I spend the majority of my time here.

Also, what adds insult to injury is the fact that, today I got a written warning for showing twice in the last month late. I’m not talking thirty mins late or even twenty. Im talking 5 mins late, that’s just the difference of getting by slow traffic or a bus. Plus, I am salary and this is a job where I have shown up at least thirty mins early for or stayed hours later. I think thats just total bs.

(and its not bc they dont like me this is happening, they treat everyone this way)

[adpiucf]

I HAVE been in your situation. I worked for a small ad agency that drained people's talent and energy with poor compensation and concern for their welfare. PM me if you want more details, but I can certainly empathize.

They treat everyone the same? That makes it a toxic environment and people will be leaving left and right (if they aren't already). Same thing happened with my work situation. I ended up quitting without a job to fall back on... and it worked out beautifully. I was so burned out at that point I needed some time off to reflect and get back to my normal happy self! You might, too, and there is no shame breaking a lease and going to stay with relatives for a little while.

Some advice.... what worked for me.

First things first. Write out a list. What are you looking for in a job? Salary, benefits, day-to-day work, the people, etc. Put together your "short list" of the things you need in the workplace to make you happy.

Next, suck it up. Go to work and make it an effort to get their 20 minutes early each morning. As you put your car in park, take a moment to reflect on all the things that are going good in your life (your car is running, you have a roof over your head, food to eat, family and friends who love you, the trust and confidence of your sorority. Take a moment to be thankful for all those good things and take a moment of silence. Ask for the strength to do well at your job today.)

Now that you're at work early, clear any personal stuff. Check email, voicemail, get your coffee.... In effect, take those 20 minutes to wake up. Once others come trailing into the office, you'll be going around and much more productive than they. You'll also get more done in less time.

If your supervisor is checking over your shoulder, you CAN turn around and say nicely, "Excuse me. Was there something you needed?" If she says no, say nicely, "Oh, well you're standing really close to me. It's a little uncomfortable, to be honest."

The next part. Write up your list of complaints about the place and go to your supervisor to request a closed door meeting. Start off by saying, "When I first started working here, I was really grateful for the opportunity. I understand you have placed a lot of time and effort toward training me, in the hopes I would be here for a good amount of time. But lately, there are a lot of things about my work that are making me unhappy and questioning that committment to this place. I think we can work together to solve these things, but I need your help. As my supervisor, can we talk through a few things?" Then you go through your list.

Hey, you're leaving anyway. You might as well make the effort to make the place more tolerable before you quit. You're also going to feel a huge sense of weight being taken off your chest once you get it out. Even the way your supervisor speaks to you. I'd bet money she isn't aware that her tone of voice is coming across as condescending.

I'm sure you're fearful to bring up your unhappiness. But DO IT. What is the worst that can happen? They say, "No, we'll continue to talk to you like you're five years old and we're reducing your salary, too?" They probably don't have any clue as to how unhappy you are because in that industry, it's all about the work, and not about the people. Which is plain wrong, but if you can communicate that the employer-employee relationship isn't working, you will gain some respect.

Good luck. PM me if you need anything. I walked many miles in your shoes... but it does get better. You have to make the change, though. No one can do it for you. And sometimes the thought of change is actually scarier than the actual act of change.

Keep me posted.

[angelic1]

*Update*

Well, I applied for another position for where I want to work and today I got a phone call to set up an interview time. It will be next week around my lunch time. So I was thinking that I could just go to the interview during my normal break time, but let them know I have to run some errands so it may take me longer. I am thinking 2 hours at the most. The location of the interview is about 15 mins away from my current office. Or do you think I should take the whole afternoon off?

How long in your opinion does an interview usually last? I have honestly had a mix of interviews that have lasted in a range from 15 mins to 2 hours. I really would hate to have to make up an excuse for an appointment or something. I am already taking off the next week for different appointments.

[adpiucf]

Hang in there! I found this at vault.com and thought of your situation: http://www.vault.com/community/v_com...899&mod_id=612

Be strong! You CAN walk away from this toxic career!

[CarolinaDG]

You are my HERO for posting this!!!!

I am in the same situation, pretty much (though the working conditions are different). I hate my job, and when my supervisor came to me to ask me what I hated, she went back to the supervisor above her with a bunch of lies about what I had said. Also, she told me that this was normal for an entry-level job... that I just needed to pay my dues. Part of the problem is that I am still waitressing, and I've been waitressing for 6 years AND have a degree... I have a little problem with thinking that I haven't paid my dues enough to get a little past that.

I am currently looking as well. The problem is that I want to get completely out of this field, so not only can I not use the people there as references because of my not wanting them to know I'm looking, but they also have no clue how I work when I'm really doing something I ENJOY. Plus, I obviously cannot trust my supervisor to not tell lies about me to the interviewer.

Anyway, since I'm going through the same thing, I don't have much advice for you. I would actually much rather be in your situation than mine, but that's just my personality type--it sounds like you'd rather be in mine than yours.

I will tell you, though, that I've been on 4 different interviews, and none of them have gone over 30 minutes.

GOOD LUCK!