Do you care about getting married?

Rollergirl2001 · #1 11-12-2004, 12:30 AM

I don't care if I don't get married at all. This is because I'm trying to find the right man. I do not want to be like my mother. My mother was divorced three times. A lot of people would think that I'm crazy about not getting married at all, but that's the way I feel.

Sister Havana · #2 11-12-2004, 12:44 AM

I figure if it's meant to happen for me, it will. If it's not, then I'll be the crazy dog lady at the end of the block. And I am really fine with either thing happening.

Jill1228 · #3 11-12-2004, 12:48 AM

I was looking forward to getting married but I was hella determined to learn from the stupid mistakes my mother made. Best thing is to take your time...forget about that "old maid" isht!

I was 17 days away from 35 when I got married...I only plan on doing this once (can't say the same for Mr. 1228...this is his second marriage)

preciousjeni · #4 11-12-2004, 12:49 AM

Honestly, I want to be married. It's what I've always wanted. I didn't care about college (at first). I just wanted a family.

But, I'm waiting for God to put the right man in my path. I've decided to take the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" advice and wait for God to send a man my way and then enter into courtship rather than dating.

norcalchick · #5 11-12-2004, 01:21 AM

Not anymore. Of course when I was younger, I dreamed about a big white wedding and all that jazz. But since I'm more grown up, it doesn't matter. I'm not religious and that's what getting married is about. Mayeb a commitment ceremony or something or like just being legally "married" somehow.

honeychile · #6 11-12-2004, 02:04 AM

I married fairly young and very stupidly, therefore, I am divorced.

I wouldn't even date until I was comfortable with who I am, and have met a wonderful man.

If I had to give one bit of advice, I'd say that you really need that time to "know thyself" prior to bringing someone else into the equation. Some of y'all will, others won't - but being lonely while you are married is a thousand times worse than learning to be happy when you're alone.

AGDee · #7 11-12-2004, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile

If I had to give one bit of advice, I'd say that you really need that time to "know thyself" prior to bringing someone else into the equation. Some of y'all will, others won't - but being lonely while you are married is a thousand times worse than learning to be happy when you're alone.

I just have to ditto this. I have said this many times. Being lonely while married is far worse. I strongly discourage anybody from getting married just to be married.

aephi alum · #8 11-12-2004, 10:21 AM

I've always felt that I would get married if the right man came into my life, but I wouldn't settle for marrying the wrong man just for the sake of being married. I dated a few "wrong men" and I know I'd have been miserable, and probably divorced, if I'd married any of them.

Then the right man came into my life.

These days, there's no stigma associated with being an unmarried woman. You don't have to either get married or become an "old maid" and have people looking at you and going "poor thing" - you can have a very full and rewarding life without ever taking a trip down the aisle.

sigmagrrl · #9 11-12-2004, 11:45 AM

I've been thinking a lot about it lately.

Yes, I want to be married. But the steps necessary to get to that level of intimacy scare the living isht outta me....I can't imagine trusting someone to love and care about me that much that I can let them into my life and soul that deeply...I want to, though....I have just been hurt too much (by life, not just by men) that I fear letting someone in that deeply. I'm even having trouble with my SO now...I don't share a lot because I feel he won't care. I won't give anyone the chance to hurt me....

I want it but am too afraid...

valkyrie · #10 11-12-2004, 11:54 AM

Absolutely not. The more I think about it, the more I don't give a rat's ass about it.

Dionysus · #11 11-12-2004, 12:38 PM

Nope. Maybe I will in my 30's or something...

PhoenixAzul · #12 11-12-2004, 01:05 PM

Yes. I care a lot. I mean A LOT. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and I joke (half joke?) that he's got 7 years to propose (he's got 4 left). If by that time he hasn't made any effort to settle down, i'm moving on. Also, I don't enjoy the "long engagement". I thought the engagement period was supposed to be long enough to plan the wedding and get your living situation worked out...not 6 years of dating with a ring on your finger. Might as well just be dating.

angelic1 · #13 11-12-2004, 01:26 PM

I do care about it, but I am not going to get married just bc I want to get married. I have seen plenty of girls more excited about getting engaged and planning the wedding then on the relationship itself.

Sigmagrrl, Im not sure of your reasons but I have some of the same feelings as well. I don’t want to get hurt as I have been in the past. When I get married I want to make sure it’s the only time I get married.

valkyrie · #14 11-12-2004, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixAzul
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and I joke (half joke?) that he's got 7 years to propose (he's got 4 left). If by that time he hasn't made any effort to settle down, i'm moving on.

Why don't you propose?

cashmoney · #15 11-12-2004, 02:39 PM

I have a different outlook on it all. Yes, I want to get married. But, for me, the purpose of getting married is for breeding purposes. Its to have kids. And thats because me and my friends all know this is true....somebody in the relationship will not stay faithfull. Whether its one of us or its our spouses. Someone is going to cheat at some point. Given the type of males we are and the type of females we go after and are used to....someone will phuck up somewhere. And once its happened, shit wont be the same. I know for me, if my wife cheated on me....I'd kick her ass to the curb. And if I cheated on her....things would be totally different between us. I wouldn't treat her the same. For me, I'm still trying to figure out when exactly is it the right time. Honestly, I think the people who get married in their 30s-40s don't realize why it works for them. Its because they waited later to marry, and when they hit the point where they cant stand each other...they're too old to divorce. Think about it, the average couple stays married how long? 30 yrs? Say you get married when you're 20...30yrs go by. You're 50 yrs old, there's still people out there for you. Lets say you're married at 30-35 yrs old. Stay married 30 yrs....that would make you 60-65 yrs old by the time you're fed up with each other. You can't get divorced at that age. You're too old. No one's going to want your wrinkled ass. Thats why you see old people always bitching at each other because there's nothing they can do about it. And the funny part is, they know that...thats why they laugh after they get in a fight.

Telling you guys...marriage, it's for breeding purposes. Its about having kids and raising them with two parents.