Undecided about rushing

GatorGirl04 · #1 08-05-2004, 03:38 PM

I'm attending UF pretty soon and have signed up for rush but I'm not sure I can through with it.

I'm not a typical sorority girl like the ones at UF. I'm not a beauty queen, more like very plain looking and pretty shy and reserved. One of my best friends from HS who graduated last year is in a sorority at UF, but we're total opposites. She was 6th in our class, a cheerleader, extremely outgoing, the type of girl everyone loves. She encouraged me to rush which is why I signed up in the first place but I'm having doubts. Some other friends told me a lot of girls get cut from every house but one or two during the first round.

Should I still go through recruitment? I've had self esteem issues about my appearance since middle school (I was bullied for a couple of years and haven't gotten over it completely) and getting cut from every house would just really, really hurt.

Is there room in a sorority for someone who is quiet? Even if I do get in, won't I just be the girl that no one knows about?

Sorry, I don't really have a ton of issues, but I'm not sure if through recruitment or not. If I was going to a different school with a smaller Greek system like up north I definitely would.

~Lindsey

kddani · #2 08-05-2004, 03:41 PM

I don't have time to write an extensive reply, but maybe you could use this as a perfect time to go through some personal growth.

Don't label yourself as the shy quiet girl that's going to get cut. This is the perfect chance to become more outgoing and have a more positive attitude, and to build up some self esteem.

I'm sure more GCers will be around shortly with more advice.

astroAPhi · #3 08-05-2004, 03:52 PM

I think that if you're shy and quiet, Recruitment would be a very good thing for you. It will give you some practice meeting new people and interacting with them.

College is a time to invent a new you. It's a time where you can finally get away from those old stereotypes that haunted you in your hometown. That's why I went to school 1200 miles from home!

If your friend is encouraging you to Rush, she obviously sees something in you that she thinks would contribute to a sorority. We don't just want the outgoing and crazy types. I fully believe that a sorority is a place for girls to grow into women.

I won't kid you, you might get cut. But it won't ruin your life if it happens, either.

KSUViolet06 · #4 08-05-2004, 03:52 PM

Don't let first impressions deceive you. You honestly never know until you try. There are alot of girls who decided not to rush and regret it. Don't leave room for regret, go for it! I'm sure you have lots of accomplishments to be proud of (even if they aren't pageant titles or cheerleading trophies).

Those things are nice, but being well rounded is what gets girls bids. Sororities take alot of things into account. Being neat and put together is more important than being a "beauty queen". Having alot of different activities in high school looks alot better than a long list of just "pageant titles".

Rush is a great time to think about your positive attributes and what you could potentially contribute to a chapter. Use it to develop self-esteem.

Don't label yourself, just be you and let the chips fall where they may. Best of luck

qteasied · #5 08-05-2004, 03:53 PM

I'm also not sure about rushing myself. I rushed in the spring of my freshman year, and got cut really badly after Philanthropy night down to one which cut me before Bid Day and during COB. I really want to go back to rush informally in the fall, but as I get closer and closer to school I'm beginning to have doubts. Most likely I will end up rushing, I've decided not to accept a bid from one particular sorority that cut me twice, should they offer me one(which I doubt they will). I know I make no sense saying that, but I realized that sorority is not for me.

I feel you should rush at least for the experience. You will meet alot of great girls rushing, even if you don't make it into any sorority. Trust me, if you have your priorities straight, getting cut from all the houses won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to you. I was at first a bit disappointed, but got over it when I was working on a project with some pledges from the sorority that cut me. I then realized that I couldn't call those girls my sisters. I don't have a problem with that sorority or their sisters(they're the nicest GLO on my campus), but I don't feel that's my home.

Rush won't be the worst thing you'll go through. Just smile, and remember that the sisters aren't monsters--they're nice girls who are proud to be where they are and continue their legacy. Have fun!

aabby757 · #6 08-05-2004, 03:56 PM

I just want to give you a big gigantic hug! I really do! I think that my response may not be the majority of the caring wonderful positive thinking people that are on greek chat. And, if you were rushing at a less competitive school, I probably would have a different opinion for you.

Do I think you should rush? Yes. But with a HUGH however. If you are as "fragile" as you claim self esteem wise, then yes you may get crushed. Be prepared for the worse. BUT! Weigh that with the "I wonder ifs." You having an outgoing friend already in a sorority is GREAT! Are you still great friends with you? Will she welcome you in her sisterhood? Do you have recommendations FROM EVERY SINGLE SORORITY at UF?

I know many girls who have been crushed by their less than successful rush experience and it does stay with them unfortunately no matter how wonderful they already are! (And I bet you are greater than you give yourself credit for!) However, UF is very competitive and if you feel like you are setting yourself up to fail, then you need to acknowledge that.

If you are a freshman, that will work in your favor. If you decide to rush next year as a sophmore then it becomes harder.

I just get the vibe that you are so tenderhearted and I don't want you to be hurt. Though you may surprise yourself (but noone here on GC) and get the house of your dreams! Regardless, good luck and please keep us all posted.

shadokat · #7 08-05-2004, 04:00 PM

As someone who is neither a beauty queen or from the south, take my words as you will Gatorgirl

I know that UF recruitment can be extremely competitive, but college is an opportunity for you to build your confidence. It's a chance to make a "new" you, if you're not particularly fond of the old...it's a chance to work on the parts of you that need it, and make yourself a wholly great girl! With all that sunshine, here's a little thought. What, in your life, have you ever gained that wasn't worth taking a risk? You say you'll be very, very hurt if you got cut, but what if you got a bid from your first choice house? Without going through recruitment, you'll never know...you need to weigh what is more important, your hurt feelings from getting cut or the opportunity to possibly join a fabulous group of women.

One word of advice...if you're shy, that's one thing. If you're on the low self-esteem thing, that's wholly another. It's ok to be nervous, but be confident in the person you are, and try it. The worst that can happen is that you leave with a new group of friends (all the girls that go through rush!).

Best of luck, no matter what your choice.

PiPhiGirl2005 · #8 08-05-2004, 04:16 PM

Co-sign everything written above! The ladies of GC give great advice!

Going through recruitment could be a wonderful way to boost your communication skills and help you conquer your shyness - especially if you remember not to label yourself as "the shy girl", as everyone else has said. And, during recruitment, if you get nervous about talking to a sorority member, just remember that she's probably just as nervous as you! Recruitment is a two way street - we are just as eager to impress the PNMs as you are to make a good impression on us!

Secondly, there is always room for a "shy" girl in any sorority. Every group needs to be made up of diverse personalities; not everyone can be the outgoing cheerleader type, and that is perfectly okay, especially in a sorority. It takes many types of people to make a chapter run smoothly - leaders, supporters, girls who like to talk, girls who like to listen, etc. I have a feeling that someone as thoughtful and sensitive as you seem to be would be an asset to any chapter!

Additionally, you clearly realize the competitiveness of recruitment at UF, and it seems as if your friend has done a great job of preparing you for the realities of rushing - i.e. the possibility of being cut, etc. It seems that being aware of what could happen but keeping a positive attitude is the best policy. But I'm not the first to say that.

Best of luck with your decision!

astroAPhi · #9 08-05-2004, 04:39 PM

Eeks, I forgot about Recommendations. You will definitely want to work on getting those right away.

caligrl923 · #10 08-05-2004, 04:41 PM

aww i totally understand how you feel!! i'm extremely quiet and reserved, definitely not a beauty queen type, and not too big on the self esteem either..but then i think--do i really want to miss out on this great experience? there's so many "what if's"..i know if i don't rush, i will regret it. it's hard for me to open up to people at first and i think that will hurt me during rush, as there is such a small amount of time to get to know the girls..but there's still that little spark of hope in me that says "maybe you will find your home in one of those sororities, and you will never know unless you try!"

rush is also great practice for meeting new people and becoming more comfortable making conversation with them. i want to try to become a little more outgoing and confident..what better time to practice than rush? the girls truly don't want to hurt you--and just because they didn't keep you doesn't mean youre not a wonderful person..i think i have a lot of great qualities (not trying to be cocky!!), but it takes more than 30 minutes of talking to somebody to really come out of my shell..i'm just pretty shy.

but i definitely think you should rush. if nothing else, it will be a tremendous learning experience. rejection hurts, i definitely agree, but if anything, it will help you grow as a person. *hug* good luck

FSUZeta · #11 08-05-2004, 04:47 PM

you say that your uf sorority friend has encouraged you to rush. i don't think she would do that if she didn't think that you stood a chance of getting a bid. she wouldn't want you to get hurt. your friend is a wonderful resource for you and can really give you an edge if you will take advantage of her.ask her to "play" rush with you. make arrangements to go over to her house and stand out side, pretending this is a sorority house you are standing outside of. have her come out like she would on the first day of recruitment and treat you like you are her rush guest and a total stranger. she can walk you through what it will be like at the ice water party, so that you get a feel for what sort of questions you might hear. if you do this it will probably help you feel more comfortable with "the unknown" and it will help her hone her recruitment skills. have her go through your wardrobe and make sure that your outfits are appropriate for each day of recruitment. if she has not already done so, have her describe each round of parties for you and the procedure pnm's go thru at uf each day. in the time you have before you leave for gainesville, make a concerted effort to strike up a conversation with people you do not know-while you are standing in line somewhere, with the sales clerk as you shop. it is excellent practice for recruitment. all of this is entirely appropriate and is not a recruitment violation. you are not asking her about her sorority, just recruitment in general. you admit you are shy. that's the first step-now you must try to overcome your shyness. you don't have to be the life of the party-just make an effort to carry on your end of the conversation. have a few topics ready to use if your rush hostess runs out of things to talk about. current movies, books, good clothing stores in gainesville, gator football, good restaurants in g-ville-you get the idea. your statement about getting into a sorority and just being the "girl no one notices" bothered me. that will only happen if you let it happen. if you go to your new member meetings, go to the activities, go over to the house for lunch and dinner and TALK to the sisters, there is no way you will go unnoticed, but it is totally up to you. i wish you the best of luck . let us know what happens. lisa

co-sign astroaphi-recommendations are a must. no excuses!!

dgfromtx · #12 08-05-2004, 04:53 PM

All of these ladies have said everything I wanted to say, but here's my two cents: (and I apologize if anything has been repeated.)

Go through recruitment even if you're having doubts. You don't want to be in your senior year of college saying "Man, I wish I went through recruitment when I had the chance." I know a lot of girls like that. They didn't want to go through recruitment for the
fear of being cut, or being shy or something like that.

You just have to BE YOURSELF. That's really the only advice I can give any person. Most people can pick up on fakeness. Just go through and even if you don't happen to get a bid, it's definitely an experience and you will meet some really cool people!
If you don't find a home within the NPC, there are other fabulous organizations at Florida you can join!
Good luck in making your decision!

33girl · #13 08-05-2004, 05:02 PM

Dear Lindsey -

You are NOT shy. You are DEEP and MYSTERIOUS.

You are NOT plain - you have CLASSIC GOOD LOOKS or are FRESH-SCRUBBED (whichever you like better).

You are NOT quiet. You FULLY EVALUATE THE SITUATION BEFORE GIVING YOUR OPINION.

Believe me, I know what it's like to get treated like crap to the nth power - and even though I rushed as a sophomore and knew people already, I definitely had some worries about how it would affect me when I got cut from groups (which I knew I would) because I was afraid it would freak me out and give me junior high flashbacks, but it all worked out OK.

If nothing else, you'll meet a lot of people and get practice at that - good luck!

AZSigKap · #14 08-05-2004, 05:31 PM

Hello Lindsey!
I am going to have to agree with what everyone has already said. I was kinda like you in that I was very quiet and not too self confident before rush. As hard as it was to put myself out there and be outgoing and talk to all these amazing girls, I am soooooooooo happy I did it. Going through rush was totally not something I would normally do, but I have loved every minute of my 'sorority life' since then. Plus, I am more confident in myself and am WAY more outgoing now, which is definetely a plus!Ultimately, this is your decision, but I think you should go through with it!!

I always say its better to regret the things you've done instead of the things you haven't done.......

AZSigKap

smiley21 · #15 08-05-2004, 05:45 PM

you better go for it!!

seriously, i have been in your shoes. don't knock it til you try it. you have already signed up for it, so what if it meant to be that you go through rush. it is a great experience. and rush at UF? that means that you have a wonderful opportunity ahead of you. just go in with a happy heart and put your best self forward. you have no idea of the sororities that can benefit well from you. it is not as bad as you think. just give EVERY sorority a chance. if you want to be in a sorority, then just follow your heart.