My parent's don't like GLOs...but I do!

KatieKate1244 · #1 08-06-2004, 12:29 AM

Hi all! I'm planning on rushing this fall semester, and I'm really excited to do so! However, as I registered for classes earlier this summer, I made a brief comment on rushing and my mom said she didn't like sororities. I don't think my dad is really against them at all (as long as I pay for it, he doesn't care what I do, as long as it's legal) Is anyone else in this boat, or has been there before? Also, what can I do to change my parent's minds?

azdtaxi · #2 08-06-2004, 01:18 AM

A lot of times schools will have pamphlets or something to give parents to highlught all the great things about greek life. A good thing to bring up as well is that all sorority gpas are often higher than the all women's average on campus.

Xylochick216 · #3 08-06-2004, 09:37 AM

Both of my parents wend to colleges that didn't have GLOs. My sister was very anti-Greek when she was at my university, so my parents only saw the bad side. When I decided to go through recruitment, my mom and sister thought I was nuts. After meeting all of my sisters and seeing how great they are, though, my parents and sister realize that it is important to me and has done me a lot of good. My mom even wrote a letter to the View when Alexandra Robbins was on, telling the ladies how my sorority has benefited me and how I was luckier than Barbara, Meredith, and Elisabeth to have experienced Greek Life.

I know a lot of school's Greek Life websites give the statistics about GPAs and involvement. Show her some of those. I am pretty sure the Clemson AXO site has good statistics on it. You can tell your parents that it's not like Animal House, too. Sororities do philanthropy work, encourage academic growth, etc. I hope your parents will support your decision

aephi alum · #4 08-06-2004, 10:28 AM

My mother didn't really have an opinion about the greek system, as she went to school overseas. She came to see how much my sorority means to me, and to this day keeps an eye out for cute lily-of-the-valley and giraffe stuff.

My dad, however, is vehemently anti-greek. I found this out the hard way when I told him I was rushing. Turns out that he rushed at his alma mater ~50 years ago, and some of the fraternities hazed, so he figured all GLOs haze and that I would be made to drink a lot and get my fat circled.

(This is the same man who wouldn't let me apply to a certain university because they had a gay community.

) I informed him that I was pledging regardless of what he said. He's met some of my sisters, and I think he's a little happier as a result - though still not thrilled.

_Lisa_ · #5 08-06-2004, 10:42 AM

My entire family was against me going Greek. Still to this day my sister makes fun of me for joining a sorority. But you know something? After I rushed and joined Sigma Kappa I brought my mom to several events at our house. We often planned lunches for our parents to come over or we would have picnics at a local park. After my mom got to meet my sisters and their families she calmed down a lot. Even my dad encourages me to stay as active as I can when before I rushed he didn't want me to have anything to do with them!

XOMichelle · #6 08-06-2004, 10:50 AM

My mother was in a sorority in college and didn't have the best experinece. She didn't get very good friends from it (I'm not sure why), and thought the pledging activities they had her do in the late 60's were silly (she vividly remembers having to put peanut butter on her pledge sister's face and taking a banana out of the toilet blindfolded with her bare hands). She didn't want me to join because she thought her experience wasn't worth it. My Dad was in a fraternity, and while he loved it, he didn't study as hard because of it. So he didn't want me in a sorority because I was at college to study, not have fun (at one point in time I went to a football game, and he told me, "I think you go to too many sporting events. You should stop going and study." I had only been to one game!).

I rushed anyway, and pledged a group that didn't make me do silly things, and helped me find a job when I got out of college. I had such a good experience with my sorority, my mom tried to bribe my sister to join one her freshman year!!

emleepc · #7 08-06-2004, 11:56 AM

My parents always said that if my brother and I wanted to go greek during college, it was fine with them, but we had to pay for everything. And we both ended joining org's in college, but we waited to do it. My brother had a bad experience toward the end of his time in the fraternity and ended up quitting. When I told him that I was going to join a sorority, he told me that I shouldn't do that because I wouldn't want people younger than me hazing me and telling me what to do. I'm sure that some sororities get away with hazing, but not at my school! I was friends with most of the girls that soon became my sisters. I have had a wonderful experience in my sorority. As for my parents, it has helped that they have met some of my sisters, and could see the women that I spent much of my time with in college. My mother still questions why I did it sometimes, but I have spoken to her very positively of my sisters and the greeks at my school. I know she will never truly understand, simply because she didn't rush in college, but nonetheless, she has still supported me in the decisions I have made. It also helps that 2 of my best sister/friends live in Birmingham also and we hang out all the time, so my parents know these women and realize that my joining a sorority was not just for college, but for the future as well.
Good story---- At my school, we had a Mother's Day event. One of our songs that we sing for Recruitment/events/weddings is Heirlooms. It just so happens that this is one of my mom's favorite songs, and that day we had planned to sing it for the mothers in attendance. Well, it shocked her when I sang the solo parts of the song, and she actually teared up (which is a major feat considering my mother NEVER cries). It was a very special moment for the both of us, and I'm so glad that she agreed to attend with me.

LionTamer · #8 08-06-2004, 01:57 PM

My mom hadn't gone to college, and was doubtful, but she came around once she met some fo the girls, and saw that my grades stayed up.

We also had a nice mother's day breakfast which both my parents really enjoyed. I did notice, however, that she used the gift from the breakfast - an "ASA Mom" mug - to soak the dachshund's kibble.

DaffyKD · #9 08-06-2004, 02:08 PM

My father was in a fraternity which has since disbanded (the entire national, not just the chapter). He would never talk about it and basically denies his years of membership.

Mom went through rush, realized that she could not compete with the sorority girls (we are talking about a time during WWII) and dropped out the first day.

I was anti greek and only went through rush as a means of moving out of my parent's house a week early. If you went through rush, you could move into the dorms early with the only contingency being that you attend all the first day parties. If you dropped rush at that time, you could stay in the dorm until your dorm opened and could move in there. I had plans to go through the first day, drop and spend the rest of the rush period at the beach. Plans did not work out that way as I loved the first house I went to. Assumed they would all be the same. By the end of the day decided to stay in rush until KD dropped me and then go back to my beach plans (I had zero self-esteem and never thought I was good enough to join a sorority). Since KD never dropped me, I stayed and next thing I knew I pledged! Today I am the President of my AA. Greatest thing I ever did was go through rush.

DaffyKD

DawnDZ · #10 08-06-2004, 03:24 PM

boy do I have experience in this arena....

Both my parents were so against me rushing they threatened to cut off what funding they provided me for school. My dad was in a fraterity in college. He was in college back in the late 60's early 70's (he turns 50 tomorrow by the way). He was always a bit of a rebel growing up I guess. He was the first in his family to go greek. Well he made it through pledging and initiation. One of his pledge brothers went into cardiac arrest and later died from one of the initiation stunts pulled. My father also witnessed his brothers gang banging a girl in there house during a party. He got the girl out of the house and told her to never come back. He transfered schools to get away from greek life.

My mom never experienced greek life but from what my dad told her she believed it was a bad idea. My dad will never talk about his years as a greek because he didn't want me or my brothers to think it was ok. He still doesn't talk about it even though I am a greek now. My mom told me in an attempt to disuade me decision to rush.

GLO's have changed alot since my parents were in college. Every campus is different, but GLO's tend to have the same goals now - scholarship, leadershp, service, standards, etc. Glo's are also working hard to change the image that people hold of us. we do a lot of good in the community. Also my grades went up after joining. I asked my parents for a trial period. I wanted them to see a difference and sure enough they did. My GLO made me a better woman.

Also this might help, our nationals has a section for parents. You should read it. It will prepare you to talk to your parents in advance, it will help make them more comfortable with the idea. Also see what your Greek life office has to offer as for parental information and give that to them as well. If you prepare a good argument, then the least they can do is let you try to see if it is for you.

http://www.deltazeta.org/parentsdefault.asp

KSUViolet06 · #11 08-06-2004, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by azdtaxi
A lot of times schools will have pamphlets or something to give parents to highlught all the great things about greek life. A good thing to bring up as well is that all sorority gpas are often higher than the all women's average on campus.

My school sent this pamphlet out and it was quite helpful since my mom is in an NPHC sorority and really didn't understand NPC's until I joined. Definitely show mom and dad the national sites and point out the philanthropy sections and anything having to do w/ famous alumnae who might be involved in your field.

HeavenslilAngel · #12 08-06-2004, 04:15 PM

My parents (especially mom) are anti greek. I didn't tell them until like 3 semesters after I had joined a sorority that I was in one. My dad didn't care as long as I didn't drink (he doesn't know that I do on occasion) and my mom wants me to drop out she mentions this every time the issue of money comes up. But I am paying for it and she knows I love it and that I won't drop out so we just don't talk about it. Her two sisters were in sororities in college (ADPi and Tri Sigma) and she was an introvert and finished college in 3 years so.......anyhow my advice to you is maybe pay for the sorority yourself that way they can't say too much or have them attend a parents meeting or something so that they understand greek life at your university

Shima-Mizu · #13 08-07-2004, 02:47 AM

My parents were pretty anti-greek. I think I shocked them when I told them I'd joined a sorority. Now they're quite used to it though, and they like my sisters, and even let me stay in a fraternity house for the summer. They're learning to see that stereotypes don't always mean much at all.