Meddling Mother-In-Law

[BetteDavisEyes]

EEK!

[KillarneyRose]

Yep, been there, done that, got the T shirt.

The best thing you can do is to not discuss your personal business with her. That way, she won't be able to dish out unsolicited advice. If she asks pointed questions that you can't ignore, give a vague answer. For example, if she asks how much you're paying for your house, answer "Too much" or something else noncommittal. If she asks about your continuing school, just say something like you'll manage. One important thing is that your fiance seems to side with you. That is very, very good.

If you keep refusing to get involved in a conversation that you don't want to have, she'll eventually quit butting in. It does, however, seem to take a long time so hunker down!

BTW, if all else fails, you should check out http://www.motherinlawstories.com . Believe me, reading some of those stories will make you feel better about your future MIL!

GOOD LUCK!

[33girl]

LOL Tracy, why did I know when I read the title of this thread that there would be a reply from you?

[WCUgirl]

I thought my MIL was going to be bad -- she even made me cry the night of my rehearsal dinner. My husband was an only child, and they were very close. So much so that when he and I first started dating in college, he talked to her on the phone practially every day (I, on the other hand, spoke to my mother once every two weeks, or as little as possible).

Once we were married, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now, he hardly ever speaks to her -- although part of that could be that she moved to the beach to live w/ her boyfriend (another long story). I asked him just last night when was the last time he heard from his mother, and he couldn't tell me.

KR does bring up the most important part: as long as your fiancee is siding w/ you and not his mother, you're golden. Things should get a little bit better once you're married and she realizes that she doesn't control him as much as she thinks she does.

I also wish you good luck!

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by 33girl
LOL Tracy, why did I know when I read the title of this thread that there would be a reply from you?

You know me too well, my dear! I'm sure my MIL has no idea that she's a GreekChat legend.

Your fiance is the one who needs to handle this, not you. I don't believe I"ve ever quoted the Bible as advice on here before, but this PRINCIPLE is true. In Genesis it says that a man shall LEAVE his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Ok, He has TO LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER. He is no longer a part of them, you and him are now/will soon be one. If he doesn't take care of this soon, I'd seriously reconsider. If she's like this now, imagine how she will be for the rest of your lives. MISERABLE.

[Jill1228]

KR, you are my hero, did you know that?
I have also been there, done that and got the T shirt. (Why do you think I sometimes call her "monster in law"?)

Tracy is right, definitely keep her out of your personal business. You all have to keep a united front and not back down for anything. Give her an inch and she will take 10 miles.

If you give in to her, that will only be the beginning

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
Yep, been there, done that, got the T shirt.

The best thing you can do is to not discuss your personal business with her. That way, she won't be able to dish out unsolicited advice. If she asks pointed questions that you can't ignore, give a vague answer. For example, if she asks how much you're paying for your house, answer "Too much" or something else noncommittal. If she asks about your continuing school, just say something like you'll manage. One important thing is that your fiance seems to side with you. That is very, very good.

If you keep refusing to get involved in a conversation that you don't want to have, she'll eventually quit butting in. It does, however, seem to take a long time so hunker down!

BTW, if all else fails, you should check out http://www.motherinlawstories.com . Believe me, reading some of those stories will make you feel better about your future MIL!

GOOD LUCK!

[honeychile]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
You know me too well, my dear! I'm sure my MIL has no idea that she's a GreekChat legend.

MIL Hall of Infamy!!


My Mother-Out-Law was a real piece of work. So much so, I don't know that I'd even put some of the things she pulled on a public message board, even though she's since passed away. For those of y'all who know about my marriage, let's just say that her son did no wrong.

[Jill1228]

Ya got one of those too? My mother in law is like that. Her son did no wrong.

No I am not talking about Mr. 1228 (the one who was adopted). Mr. 1228 worked himself through college, took her in when she moved out west after the other son's wife got terrtorial and tossed her out.

We are talking about Mr. 1228's brother (the one she gave birth to 4 years later, who was a high school dropout, sponged off his mother and didn't have the balls to stand up to his bitch wife when she disrespected her)


Yeah, her natural son, Mr. 1228's brother could do no wrong


Ooops sorry for the mother in law vent.

Originally posted by honeychile
let's just say that her son did no wrong.

[aephi alum]

Welcome to the club! I could tell you innumerable stories about how my MIL has tried to interfere in my and my husband's marriage and lives.

Definitely check out motherinlawstories.com and especially the forum there. That site has helped me through many a rough patch... some of the MILs I've read about there make my MIL look like Mother Teresa.

You are both adults. You get to choose where you want to live. If it happens not to be near her, too bad for her.

Good luck.

[valkyrie]

I would move somewhere far enough away that it would be inconvenient to see her more than a few times a year.

[BetteDavisEyes]

Thanks for the advice & input. It's been great. Keep it coming.

[winnieb]

My mother in law use to go everywhere with us. We never had a moments peace. We got married in Vegas, with the whole family, friends, etc. My family and friends left the morning after our wedding-- she and my f-i-l stayed an extra day. They called our room at 7am to go to breakfast-- my husband said yes (don't get me started) and we ended up speding the whole day with my in laws and the best man --i was livid-- i bawled all day long and no one could figure out why! (i didn't think anyone could be that dense) I couldn't get away from the woman!

She has sinced moved to Florida, and she doesn't ever come back up here. My father in law visits frequently (and stays too long) but she now can't understand why we won't come there. I tell her I get two weeks of vaca- she gets 3, i don't want to use up my vaca to go there-- she thinks it is easier for us to travel with 2 kids, then it is for her abled ass to get on a plane and fly here!

Mother in laws can be hell--- you are good if your husband takes your side!! As long as that happens everything will be ok.

[Jill1228]

Which is why Mr. 1228 doesn't have a mother in law from hell...and I don't have a mother that can consistently work my last good nerve!

Originally posted by valkyrie
I would move somewhere far enough away that it would be inconvenient to see her more than a few times a year.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Jill1228
Which is why Mr. 1228 doesn't have a mother in law from hell...and I don't have a mother that can consistently work my last good nerve!

Haha. I like my family and I like Mr. valkyrie's family too, but it's really nice to not have to see them all the time. When you live 1000 miles away, your family obligations are minimal, and that's just the way I like them.