female friend of boyfriend who comes off as really bitchy

winneythepooh7 · #1 07-22-2004, 02:22 PM

My boyfriend has this female friend he has known for awhile. She is married and they have known each other for about 5 or 6 years. He talks very highly of her and how she has helped him out of a lot of jams. So here is the issue in a nutshell. She often is around because she and her husband are part of the "group" he hangs out with. My friend (who happens to be my boy's cousin) and I have noticed that she never ever talks to us when we are all together. She will sit down and talk to everyone even if they are sitting right next to us and we are having a conversation with them but she doesn't talk to us at all. I approached my boyfriend about it because it is very uncomfortable (especially when her and I are the only females at functions). He said that "she is just bitchy and does this to all females". I've tried saying hi to her and striking up conversation a few times, as has my friend and she continues to act like this (ignoring us). It is creepy too because I always see her staring at me and stuff and I am wondering what her deal is. Her husband is really sweet and funny and is always talking with us. My boyfriend also added "oh she is overprotective of her male friends because she doesn't want us to get hurt". It's too wierd for me though. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and what did you do? I could see if she was like his sister, but she is just a FRIEND. (and no to the wiseasses there is no "romantic" history between my boy and her).

LeslieAGD · #2 07-22-2004, 02:46 PM

At least your boyfriend is aware that she is like this and that YOU have tried your best to be nice to her. If it were me, I would approach her and say "you and (boyfriend's name here) seem to be really close and I would like to get to know you."

norcalchick · #3 07-22-2004, 03:05 PM

women are bitchy. some are super bitchy. i say that you've tried and don't worry about her anymore. if it makes you uncomfortable when she's the only other female in the group, forget about her and try to chat it up even more with the guys so that they like you more than her

sageofages · #4 07-22-2004, 03:24 PM

Sounds to me like she wants to be the only princess at the party and sees any other female as competetion for the crown.

Treat her sweetly, be nice and know your simply doing that drives her absolute insane cause that is something she doesn't understand that.

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 07-22-2004, 03:40 PM

Just be nice and civil to her. Keep your opinion of her to yourself. Guys don't like girlfriends who complain about their friends. People like her generally take a long time to warm up if they warm up at all.

Lady Pi Phi · #6 07-22-2004, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sageofages
Sounds to me like she wants to be the only princess at the party and sees any other female as competetion for the crown.

Treat her sweetly, be nice and know your simply doing that drives her absolute insane cause that is something she doesn't understand that.

Co-sign.

winneythepooh7 · #7 07-22-2004, 04:38 PM

thanks for the support ladies

it's interesting, my boyfriend and i discussed her again today and he had me talk to his best friend. his best friend said she is kind of mean to his girlfriend too and they have been dating going on 6 years. go figure. maybe she just feels uncomfortable around other females. you know, one of those girls who is like "oh i can't be friends with females only males" LOL..........

Munchkin03 · #8 07-22-2004, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
Guys don't like girlfriends who complain about their friends.

Ditto.

Plus, she's been in his life longer than you have, and may just be there longer than you will. If things start becoming serious, then I would start caring.

But now? Not so much.

James · #9 07-22-2004, 09:35 PM

Sounds like she has a harem complex . . you just took one of her boys.

The other girls have given you good advice.

KillarneyRose · #10 07-23-2004, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sageofages
Sounds to me like she wants to be the only princess at the party and sees any other female as competetion for the crown.

Exactly what I was thinking.

winneythepooh7 · #11 07-24-2004, 09:16 AM

thanks everyone

since she is around quite a bit, i am going to try to plan something and personally call her and invite her. i am thinking of planning a surprise party for my boyfriend at the end of the summer for his birthday so i thought maybe that would be a nice way to get her involved and maybe she will warm up a little bit.

BabyP · #12 07-25-2004, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
thanks for the support ladies it's interesting, my boyfriend and i discussed her again today and he had me talk to his best friend. his best friend said she is kind of mean to his girlfriend too and they have been dating going on 6 years. go figure. maybe she just feels uncomfortable around other females. you know, one of those girls who is like "oh i can't be friends with females only males" LOL..........

I agree with this. I have met girls like this that no matter how hard you try to be nice and start up conversation they end up talking to males more, even though the males are your friends too!! Just forget about her and talk with other people. Its not worth it, cuz if you keep trying you might as well lie down for her to walk over you.........

winneythepooh7 · #13 08-28-2004, 04:20 PM

OK I am starting to get REALLY annoyed. I hear at least 3 times a week especially how this chick "can't stand" one of my sisters (who did nothing to her except date one of her friends for a second). ANYWAYS maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing, but tonight me and my boyfriend are supposed to be hanging out. He called me earlier at work to say he is going over to her house for a little while to hang out. I've tried calling him back SEVERAL times to confirm plans for tonight and his phone is OFF. Oh, to make it more interesting, I also have heard a couple times this week how one of her really good friends can't stand my sister either. It makes me really wonder what is being said about me the way they bad mouth my friend they don't even know. I am starting to feel like when he is around her, everything, and everyone in his life needs to be approved and I am getting really pissed off.

BabyP · #14 08-28-2004, 04:52 PM

IF it is really bad........maybe break up......... you dont want that stress.......if you try to seperate them that makes it worse, if you try to be nice to her, not gonna happen like i said before she is gonna walk all over you...... I think that is just too suspicious he calls when you cant answer and turns off phone... Apparently you are not high up on his list. I would understand if he saw her ONCE a while but alot?? if you put friends first make sure they are worth it and in a bad situation like something happened and they need someone to talk to....... This female friend of his is out to destroy your reputation and your sisters. Why so people would be reluctant to talk to you and your friends if they come to th next party. Just weigh the pros and cons.....decide if its worth suffering or kick him out.

winneythepooh7 · #15 08-29-2004, 08:21 AM

Well we discussed the situation last night and he swears that she has nothing against me, actually she wants to "get to know me and be friends". I am not crazy about the idea because I am one of those people that if I feel uncomfortable in a situation, or around a person, or think they are being phony, I just don't want to be around them. But eventually I think I am just gonna have to deal with her. We went out to dinner last night with his best friend and his girlfriend. She was actually complaining about her. They were friends and went to nursing school even before she was with her boyfriend. She was saying how she can't take her sometimes because she "gets mad if she isn't the center of attention". It makes more sense to me now. Especially after hearing what her friend said. Apparently they were all hanging out and her husband's nephews came over. The attention went to the kids and according to her friend, she got really bitchy and dramatic.