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Funny Stuff... I am a frat guy
I am a Frat Guy
I'm a frat guy. I live in a frat house. I go to frat parties. I drink frat beer. I fight. I especially like to fight independents. I think that if independents were cool, they would have pledged a frat in the first place. I know that independents are jealous of my social life. I believe that I am more fun and am a harder partier than any GDI (God Damn Independent). I tailgate. I am exclusive because I hate you. I run semi formals. I go to Happy Hour. I like midgets. I lie to my parents. I nod my head to acknowledge other frat guys. I have a fucked up message on my answering machine. I drop my classes. I exploit Independents to donate blood so I don't have to. I don't go to classes. I buy my friends. I joined a frat to feel accepted. I have an STD. I couldn't make friends when I got to college, so I paid for them instead. I give more than $1,000 of my parents' money in social dues each year to promote my frat's alcoholism problem. I pass out in random places in my frat house. I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than you. I have side burns. I use a lot of gel. I cuss loudly in inappropriate places. I haze my pledges. I emotionally scar them for life. I abuse them physically until they cry for mercy. I then call them wimps. I later call them my brothers if they don't de-pledge along the way. I do this for one reason, it was done to me. I have been drunk for eight days straight.. My English sucks. I smoke Marlboros/Camels to be cool. I carry a Zippo. Yield signs do not apply to me. Police piss me off. I am above the law. I am not an individual. I mimic the actions of my frat brothers. I drive a sport utility vehicle. I drink and drive. I will never commit to just one girl, but I will tell them I love them if it gets them in my sack. I don't shower, I don't have to. "Sorry" is not in my vocabulary. I burn incense in my room. I chalk on campus. Bar attire is my attire. I believe that a girl gives up her right to say "no" if she is in my frat house after 1:30 a.m. I am shady. I get laid. I jack off. I have no independent thought. I have party pics on my wall. I dress just like my frat brothers. I act just like my frat brothers. I talk just like my frat brothers. I strut just like my frat brothers. I never study. I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams when I decide to take them. I don't buy books, I steal Cliff Notes. I have a low GPA. I am thankful that my frat buddies will get me a job after graduation because I know that I can't get one on my own. I ask girls if they want to see my fishtank. Fat chicks have no chance with me. I don't vote. I hate newspapers. I have my letters tattooed on my ankle. I wear J. Crew and Abercrombie. I'd fuck Jenny McCarthy. I carry a bottle opener with my frat letters on it. I have a fake I.D. I grind with freshmen chicks. I wear my letters. All of my T-shirts are philanthropy T-shirts. I own many plaid button-downs. I own one dirty baseball hat I live in my khakis. I wear beer goggles on weekends. I have a DUI. My frat letters are license to be a jerk. I am loud and obnoxious wherever I go in public. I am twice as obnoxious one-on-one. I live in filth. I enjoy the smell of old-beer-in-carpet. I prefer a dingy frat house to a clean apartment. I think living among rodents builds character. I leave the seat up. I can't clean up after myself. I rarely change my underwear. I am a player. I don't care about what girls have to say. I only care about me. I will say anything to get a girl in bed. I will say even more to get a freshman girl in bed because I know she'll believe me. I serve alcohol to minors at unregistered parties. I do keg stands I own a beer funnel. I don't binge drink- I continually drink. I am everything that is wrong with AMERICA, I am a Frat Guy.
Also check out Fratty.net
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