Have You Ever...

bgsugirlie · #1 07-11-2004, 12:28 PM

Have you ever moved away from home...and I mean really moved away? You guys, I am so scared. I'm in Ohio right now, and I think I want to move to California. I don't know anybody out there, I've never really lived far away from home before, but I feel like there is so much out there that I need to experience and California is just calling my name. Here's the deal though...I have the most amazing, incredible, best friends here. I wanted one or two of them to travel with me, but they don't want to leave their families. And then, there's my family...I'll be sad to leave them too. My life is great right now...I don't know if I'm crazy to walk away from all of this to take a chance. I don't know how I'll make friends there. I've never been to a place before where I didn't know a soul. I'm scared...really, really, really scared...but excited at the same time. Has anyone made the big move before and what was it like? And, how did you make friends? I'm a girl in need of some advice

Honeykiss1974 · #2 07-11-2004, 12:41 PM

I have done it before and I am in the proces of trying to do it again.

My advice is to GO FOR IT! Especially if its just you (no kids, husband, etc.). This will be a new experience, one that will teach you many things about life and most importantly about yourself.

And if things just didn't pan out (but I'm sure they will

) you could always go back home.

Making friends may take a while, but you will. Aside from making friends with people at work, find an activity that will get you out of the house. Sign up for a _____ class (fill in with your favorite hobby), volunteer somewhere, join a book club - do something that will get you out of the house and around people.

If you have graduated from college, contact your school's Alumni office and get the names and numbers of alumni that live there or close by. There may be some alumni there your age or alumni with kids your age that they will introduce to you.

So as Nike says - JUST DO IT!

KillarneyRose · #3 07-11-2004, 02:16 PM

Good for you, bgsugirlie! I did what you're contemplating and I never once regretted it. You're at a great age right now: no husband or children, no strings to keep you in one place. You can do what you want and, since that won't always be the case, take advantage of it!

What field are you in? You might want to do some job researching before you move out there. Send out resumes, try to secure some interviews if you can. One very important thing is to save up money before you make the big move. It can be expensive starting from scratch (security deposits, car registration, etc.) so it's important to have a nice cushion.

As far as friends, you won't be abandoning your friends in Ohio. They'll always be your friends! You'll just be widening your circle of friends. In every "destination city" there are young people just like you who moved there and are really "on their own" for the first time. It's a ready-made group of friends, and you meet them everywhere. Work, laundramat (sp?), the local coffee shop, bars, etc. I loved that part especially because I went to college in the town where I grew up and most of the other students were from nearby also. It was my first real experience meeting people with markedly different life experiences than my own.

Also, I know we have some strong alumnae chapters in California. Don't forget to check out one of them. Instant family!!!

Good luck!!!

ETA: Did you mention somewhere in the DZ forum that you're a nurse? If so, I bet you can write your own ticket because nurses are so in demand. Maybe a nice signing bonus or moving expenses or something?

Munchkin03 · #4 07-11-2004, 04:49 PM

I did it. I love it and have no regrets--getting out of my nowhere, snotty little town was probably the best thing I could have ever done.

Like everyone else has said, there's nothing really stopping you!

_Opi_ · #5 07-13-2004, 09:39 AM

Just do it. I did, and don't regret one bit. I will again, in a year or two. And while it is scary, it will also be very exciting. You learn to be independant and take care of yourself. you WILL be homesick, but If you have the opportunity to leave OH, then what are you waiting for?

Just remember that the standard of living in Cali is high, so convince a friend or get a roomie.

aphibeach · #6 07-13-2004, 01:09 PM

i did it 3 years ago and although i didn't move as far as some of the others have, it was still the best thing i could have done. you have to take into account though that some of your friends are going to be confused or upset by the change. i had friends who refused to talk to me for months because they didn't understand why i left. what i suggest is make sure through the move and all that stuff to still make time for your friends. and when you are with them, don't discuss the move unless they bring it up......hang out like you always did before you decided to head to California.

i'll be moving again in December and i'm ready......i've never really been one to settle for years at a time but i found myself still in Wilmington after 3 years.

good luck!

SilverTurtle · #7 07-14-2004, 09:27 AM

Do it.
Do it. Do it. Do it.

:-D

winneythepooh7 · #8 07-14-2004, 10:12 AM

I did it. I moved from a totally rural area I had lived a very sheltered life to NYC!!! I have absolutely no regrets. It has helped me advance significantly in my career and I have also made the most wonderfullest of new friends. Go for it!!! Check out AA's and Greek Alum groups. You can make new friends this way. Also through common interests/career.

DeltAlum · #9 07-14-2004, 10:15 AM

Do it. But don't get carried away like we did.

We moved from Columbus, to Toledo, to Baltimore, to Milwaukee to Detroit within the first seven years of our marriage.

TheEpitome1920 · #10 07-14-2004, 10:15 AM

I've never really moved away from home but I plan to for graduate school. I'm kinda nervous because I'm used to having my family in close reach but I think its time for me to get out of my comfort zone.

astroAPhi · #11 07-14-2004, 11:27 AM

Just as a heads up, you don't move to California. You buy in.

What is it about California that makes you want to go there? You need to ask yourself that. If it's just far away, well, there's lots of places that are far away. If there's job opportunities there that you can't get elsewhere, then go for it.

But my boyfriend's townhouse that he grew up in is going for a half-million dollars. Be prepared for the ridiculous real estate prices.