Think everybody's doin' it? Think again.

[hoosier]

Think everybody's doin' it? Think again.
by Jennifer Girardin


Joshua Sazdanoff, 19, has never had sex.

And he doesn't plan to until his wedding night.

Sazdanoff, a kinesiology sophomore, says at age 13 he became a born-again Christian and set the Bible as his truth. According to his beliefs, he mist "keep the marriage bed pure," which means waiting until marriage to have sex.

He attended a Christian school and says he dated Christian girls with similar beliefs about sexual purity. They would set boundaries like avoiding spending time alone at his girlfriend's houses.

Though he says his commitment of abstinence until marriage stems from his spiritual beliefs, he thinks there are benefits even for those who don't hold the same beliefs.

"Even from a non-Christian perspective, waiting makes [sex] more special," says Sanzdanoff.

"Plus, you don't have to worry about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."

He says he doesn't subscribe to the notion of needing to "try the car before you buy it."

"God knows my heart and he knows me more than anyone else," says Sanzdanoff. "If He has the perfect woman for me, it won't be good or bad."

Sanzdanoff is among only 21 percent of ASU college students who have never engaged in vaginal intercourse, according to the results of a survey conducted in the spring by the American College Health Association in conjunction with the ASU Student Health and Wellness Center.

Karen Moses, assistant director of health education and wellness at the center, says virginity is relative.

"It's all in what someone considers 'sex,'" says Moses, while seated in her office.

Moses says some people consider "sex" to be any type of sexual behavior, like taking a shower naked together or performing other sexual acts such as oral sex.

Sarah Craig, a secondary education junior, says she defines losing her virginity as vaginal intercourse. She says she doesn't believe a person loses their virginity if they have oral sex, but she still doesn't believe the act is right "in God's eyes."

Craig says as a teenager she made a commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. She says she broke the commitment just a few months ago and regrets it.

"It was really weird," Craig says over the phone.

"I had been drinking a little bit, we were lying in my bed and I told him to leave. We discussed how it wasn't meant to be and five minutes later he was kissing my neck and we were having sex."

She says it hasn't completely sunken in and she's not sure how she'll break the news to her mother, who cried when she found out that Craig's older sister engaged in premarital sex.

"I just threw it away," says Craig of her commitment to abstinence.

"I would take it back in a heartbeat."

She says she wanted her "first time" to be with the man she would spend the rest of her life with, the man she loved and would marry.

"I'm sinning, and I'm not happy," says Craig of her continued affairs with her friend.

She says she knows they aren't meant to be together in the future and says when they break up, she plans to abstain from sex again.

"I still believe in abstinence, I'm just not abiding in it right now," says Craig.

"I was strong for four years of saying 'no' for so long. Sex is great, I love it and it will be hard when we break up, but God will give me the strength again."

For now Craig says she has to do many things she didn't have to worry about before when she wasn't having sex, like going to the doctor to make sure she hasn't contracted anything.

"I believe with certain sins, there are consequences," says Craig over the phone.

"It could be disease, heartbreak, a baby; any number of things."

As for advice she has for others struggling with similar issues, Craig says she would encourage them to listen to their "inner voice."

"If you feel any inch of not wanting to do it, don't do it," says Craig.

"It's there for a reason."

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

79 to 21.... so everyone IS doing it.

[33girl]

Originally posted by hoosier
"If you feel any inch of not wanting to do it, don't do it," says Craig.

If you feel any inch, you're probably already doing it.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by 33girl
If you feel any inch, you're probably already doing it.

if you feel any more inches . . . you're probably not doing it with me.

[RACooper]

Originally posted by IowaStatePhiPsi
79 to 21.... so everyone IS doing it.

Well that 21% have not engaged in sexual relation in the Clinton-esque definition of the term... ie. not vaginal intercourse....

[valkyrie]

I'm all for people doing or not doing whatever they think is right for them, but I it sad that young people are living with so much GUILT about issues like sex.

Damn that Jessica Simpson.

[omegamcgee]

Okay, so I really hate hypocrites. If Craig didn't like sinning, and thought that having premarital sex was wrong, why didn't she just not do it anymore? You can't have your cake and eat it to. You did it, and YOU'RE NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!!! I'm sure God just LOVES it that you say "I'm only going to have sex for right now, instead of being sorry for it, I'm going to do it as long as I have the opportunity. But then, when we break up, I'll be a good Christian girl again. Tee hee." She probably tells people that she's a good christian and that they shouldn't have sex til they're married. Wow, I'm glad I'm not religious!

[Munchkin03]

Moses says some people consider "sex" to be any type of sexual behavior, like taking a shower naked together or performing other sexual acts such as oral sex.

Um...how ELSE are you going to take a shower other than naked? With raincoats?

She says it hasn't completely sunken in and she's not sure how she'll break the news to her mother, who cried when she found out that Craig's older sister engaged in premarital sex.

CRIED?

"I'm sinning, and I'm not happy," says Craig of her continued affairs with her friend.

She says she knows they aren't meant to be together in the future and says when they break up, she plans to abstain from sex again.

"I still believe in abstinence, I'm just not abiding in it right now," says Craig.

"I was strong for four years of saying 'no' for so long. Sex is great, I love it and it will be hard when we break up, but God will give me the strength again."

Obviously she's a hypocrite, and doesn't want to admit that she's either attached to the guy or really really likes sex. What will mommy think then?

[sugar and spice]

21 percent is shocking to me. That's surprisingly high. I would have guessed around more like 10 percent. Nothing wrong with that, as long as they buck the trend of saving themselves for marriage, failing, and then not using contraceptives when they do it.

Also, that girl who "accidentally" lost her virginity . . . ummm, shut up. "I told him to go and then suddenly we were having sex! And we're still having sex! But I'm waiting until marriage!"

[Wine&SilverBlue]

well if they are only defining sex as "vaginal sex" the gay male population would then be considered "virgins" because they do not engage in vaginal sex.....

[AznSAE]

the weeknight sex talk with the old lady on the oxygen channel defines sex as "penis in vagina." she is cool as shitz. some girl had called and asked if doing another girl would still be considered a virgin. the old lady said yes.

[James]

When i see this thread I tend to think of that LL Cool J song where it goes:

"Doin It"
(feat. LeShaun)

[Intro: LL Cool J]

Mmmm yeah (mmmmm) check it out baby
Make it hot... then we drop it
(oooooooh!) Uh, yeah
(oooooooh!) Uptown, you know how we do it
Yeah you know
Make it hot

[Verse One:]

[LL Cool J]
It's the first time together and I'm feeling kinda horny
Conventional methods of makin love kinda bore me
I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off
Blow your socks off make sure your G spots soft
[LeShaun]
I'm gonna call you Big Daddy and scream your name
Matter fact I can't wait for your candy rain
[LL Cool J]
So what cha sayin, I get my swerve on, bring it live
Make it last forever, damn the kitty cat's tight
[LeShaun]
Mmm... daddy slow down your flow
Put it on me like G baby nice and slow
I need a rough neck nigga Mandingo in a sec
Who ain't afraid to pull my hair and spank me from the back
[LL Cool J]
No doubt, I'm the playa that you're talkin about
[LeShaun]
But do you really think that you can work it out
[LL Cool J]
I guarantee shorty it's real, baby stick it out
Here comes the man of steel

[Chorus: LeShaun, LL Cool J]

[LeShaun] Doin it and doin it and doin it well [3X]
[LL Cool J] I respresent Queens, she was raised out in Brooklyn

[repeat 2x]

[Verse Two:]

[LL Cool J]
I'm in the mix now, searching for the right spot
To hit now, get down
[LeShaun]
Damn my lover dig down, you use a rubber?
[LL Cool J]
Damn right
[LeShaun]
You are my lover
[LL Cool J]
All night
[LeShaun]
The putty good to you? Word to momma
[LL Cool J]
Man tight
The only thing left to do is climax
Let's make it last
[LeShaun]
Word we ain't goin out like that
All this time you've been telling that you was a Don
[LL Cool J]
I tried to warn you girl you wouldn't listen
Now let's get it on
[LeShaun]
Mmm, baby wild, don't do that
Chill wait a minute baby let me please you back
[LL Cool J]
You talk a good one shorty now you're makin me sweat
How a live nigga like it girl?
[LeShaun]
Nice and wet
We get it To The Break of Dawn, damn you're large
How a big girl like it Daddy?
[LL Cool J]
Nice and hard
Safe sexin it, flexin it, gettin that affectionate
Chewin it, oohin it, all while we're doin it

[Chorus (repeat 2X)]

[Verse Three:]

[LL Cool J]
Baby, I wanna hit it in the worst way
[LeShaun]
Make it hot
[LL Cool J]
Schemin on the ass since the first day
[LeShaun]
Don't stop
Damn I love it when you talk like that
Make it bounce sugar
[LL Cool J]
Long as you can bounce me back
More flesh than the Greek Fest
[LeShaun]
Roll up the sess
[LL Cool J]
Pass the Hennessee
[LeShaun]
Put my body to the test
Wait wait daddy many niggaz ago
I was a young girl listening to how you flow
Now's my chance to hit you off daddy I'm grown
From the back, from the side
[LL Cool J]
Right, I'm in the zone
One of a kind when it's time to do mine
Camcorder and the whole shit
[LeShaun]
Press rewind
Let it flow on the screen while we puffs the L
Layin back in the cut while we're under the spell
[LL Cool J]
Word life, I like the way the ep went down
Go to sleep, tomorrow I'll take you back downtown
We'll be

[sugar and spice]

I danced to that song at the bars last night.

[astroAPhi]

I completely agree that the girl in the article is a complete hypocrite. You can't be like, well since I'm already sinning with this guy that I'm not even happy with, I'll just keep sinning until I break up with him. WTF?