LGBTQ Members

[ZTAMelissa]

This past semester I finally came out to my sisters that I'm bisexual. They handled it surprisingly well. I was wondering if there are any other LGBTQ sorority or fraternity members out there or if you know of any and how are your chapters handling it? I mean, there are books out there about this stuff (I myself own "Secret Sisters" and there's also "Out on Fraternity Row") , but it seems to me most of it is kept hush hush, so I was wondering about chapters here on GC... Any thoughts?

[astroAPhi]

In the past we've had a lesbian sister or two... none that I know of recently though. No one thinks of the one sister that I know of any differently, but she graduated before I joined (but she's still a local alum).

I wouldn't be bothered if one of my sisters was gay/bisexual. They're still the same person, right?

[gphiangel624]

As far as I know, there haven't been any openly gay/bi members in my own chapter, but I know of a few in different fraternities that are openly gay/bi. My school is very diverse, so it's pretty open and fairly welcoming to people of all sexual orientations, although some individuals are very opposed to the idea of having a gay/bi member in their generally straight organization. But overall, I think it shows diversity just a little more and it doesn't bother me at all!

[NoShame_Gamma]

Well, one of my chapter sister's started off Bisexual, but now she's realizing that she'd rather date women only. I don't know how the other chapters are. It doesn't make a difference to me. I have many friends, relatives, and acquaintances who are GLB. After all, a person is a person.

[MoxieGrrl]

In the early to mid-90's about 5 or 6 sisters were lesbians or bi. From what these women told me and others in the chapter at the time, it wasn't an issue. They made their coming out announcement, and everyone said, "Congratulations." They didn't ignore it, but didn't make it a point of contention either.

I think you are very brave, ZTAMelissa!

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by NoShame_Gamma
Well, one of my chapter sister's started off Bisexual, but now she's realizing that she'd rather date women only.

A lesbian woman who worked for me in a previous job once told me that she was leary of the concept of bisexual. In other words, she feels you are gay or straight.

I have no idea -- simply her opinion.

Edited to say that this is not meant to be or sound judgemental, but posted out of curiousity.

[Opie25]

I'm actually a Gay Fraternity and Sorority Advisor at a university (there are a lot of us actually). There are quite a few gay, lesbian, bisexual members of fraternities and sororitieis whether they came out as undergrads or alumns. Every year at our annual meeting for our professional association there is a reception for GLB members and allies and there is always a great turn out. There are actually a couple of studys that have been done on GLBQ members and my best friend is currently in the process of producing his thesis that deals with the coming out process of men while they are in a college faternity (coping strategies, etc.). I hope to some day do a similar study if I ever get the guts to do my Phd.

I'm sure you've checked out the Lambda 10 website (since you already have the books!) But it can be a good resource.

Congratulations and good luck! If you need anything please feel free to im, email, post!

o.p.i.e.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by DeltAlum

Edited to say that this is not meant to be or sound judgemental, but posted out of curiousity.

It is judgemental, but you're not the judgemental one - she is.

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by Sistermadly


It is judgemental, but you're not the judgemental one - she is.

Interesting thought.

We had the conversation one evening while driving back after I did a guest lecture at a class she teaches at the Unviersity of Colorado at Boulder. I had taught the class for several years.

I suppose you may be right, but I didn't have the impression that she was being judgemental or defensive at that time -- simply stating a question/opinion.

[ZTAMelissa]

Singer/Songwriter/lecturist Skott Freedman has some interesting thoughts on the legitimacy of bisexuality. Some people feel it is indecisive to call yourself bisexual, but being bisexual is a choice itself, just as it is a choice to be gay or straight. However, I don't mean to say that you can "choose" to be one way or another. Sexuality is not binary, anway. It's not that simple and to categorize it into only two areas is very limiting.

On another note, thanks to whomever called me brave, btw. It was really hard to start being open about who I am because I don't know of any other greeks who are out. Most of my chapter is proud of me for having done it and I haven't received any outright negative responses, mostly just curiosity. For the most part, my sisters have been understanding and I even brought my girlfriend to our formal back in November. I've brought her out to several events and my sisters loved her (I use past tense because we broke up). I am confident that whomever I date in the future will be just as accepted. :-)

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by ZTAMelissa
It's not that simple and to categorize it into only two areas is very limiting.

On another note, thanks to whomever called me brave, btw.

Melissa,

As it happens, I had a call into my former employee before I read this thread. This will make for an interesting conversation sometime in the future, I'm sure. I don't pretend to have much of an understanding of things that aren't hetrosexual, and she is my sounding board sometimes. We're still pretty good friends.

And I, too, think it took courage to make and follow up on your decision.

Best of luck to you.

[essenceofomega]

Interesting topic to bring up. I came out to my sisters and brothers, family... pretty much everyone in Spring 02. Everyone took it very well. I dont think I would be able to have done it with my family, friends and sisters. Everyone has been very supportive and loving. Their support has helped me a great deal. I do have one other sister who is open about her sexuality, so for us its not a big deal.

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

In the past Iowa State has had good and bad experiences regarding LGB greek members.
One fraternity that in the early to mid 90s had several quasi-out gay/bi members had a member come out in 2001 and by the end of the school year he left due to problems there.
Some fraternities the members leave when they come out, others they never come out.

It's been recognized that about 6% of members of the fraternities at Iowa State are in the MSM category (men who have sex with men), but there are few resources throug the LGBT Student Services Office or the Greek Affairs Office for these members.

This fall we'll have both a new Dean of Greek Affairs and a new Director of LGBT Student Services, so this issue might be addressed, especially since our current and last 2 IFC presidents are strong allies to the LGBT community.


The issue that my colony is going to face this fall is "When and how should our gay/bi members come out to our new pledges?"

[lyrica9]

i guess it depends a lot on your chapter, and where your school is. i know i personally think its fine, and would much rather a sister be honest, but have had conversations with some sisters about the possibility of having a gay sister, and they get homophobic.
a guy from one fraternity freaked out when he found out that a guy in another group was gay, but that guys brothers are fine with it.
i think since our school is in the bible belt that is northern texas is more hush hush here.
good luck!

[TheEpitome1920]

I know 2 chapters that have several gay members. It's not a big issue. Someone's sexual orientation has no bearing on their ability to serve the community, IMHO.