Need Help!!: Nightmare Monster(Baby)-Sitting

AlphaFrog · #1 06-01-2004, 01:44 PM

Warning, this is going to be LONG!

Ok, I'm 21 years old but I haven't really done that much babysitting in my life. Recently I've been babysitting for my boyfriend's sister-in-law....she has 4 kids (by 3 different fathers, none of them her current husband, my boyfriend's step-brother). They are ages 9, 7, 4, 3.

The 9 yo, the only girl, I generally have no problems with, mostly beacuse she knows that her mother puts up with no isht from her and will beat her if she's out of line.

The 7 year old has anger problems and cries hysterically when he doesn't get his way...usually because he's been playing his videogame for hours on end and other kids want to watch TV so I take the power cord away from him.

The 4 year old (almost 5, will be going to kindergarten next fall) cries hysterically anytime, for any reason, and even to the point where he'll stop breathing. He also cannot wipe his own butt after using the restroom.

The 3 year old fell and cracked his front tooth months ago (I was not yet babysitting for them yet) and the mom claims she doesn't have the money to take him to the dentist to get it pulled (even though since then she's bought a new van, new TV, satalite TV, etc) and it is now rotting away and causing his other front tooth to rot away...probably because the kids drink nothing but soda the whole day starting from when they get up at 8 to when they go to bed at 7 or 8...they have gone through a 12-pack between the 4 of them in 3 hours before.

The 3 & 4 year old do not go to preschool right now...they sit home all day and drink soda, eat ramen noodles and watch TV ALL DAY.

The only form of punishment these kids respond to is spanking, but obviously I'm not going to spank someone else's kids, and the mother would have a isht fit if anyone hurt her precious babies. They have no manners whatsoever. The 3 & 4 year old don't even have the discipline to stay off the dinner table or the TV. When I bring them to my house they are slightly better behaved, but I might as well be watching them for free as they won't stay out of my fridge and will take whatever they can get their hands on. They constantly beat on eachother and the only way to get them to stop is by phisically restraining them, but I can't be doing that because I'm pregnant and very afraid that they will hit me while I'm trying to restrain them.

They tell me that I'm mean and that they hate me and then 5 minutes later they fight about who gets to sit in my lap. They tell me that they don't have to listen to me and when I tell them no they say that they're going to ttell their mommy when she gets home (not that she cares anyway)

I've talked to the mother about their bad behavior and told her that I have no idea what to do because they don't listen and she told me that I stress too much and if they're doing something and it's not going to kill them, just let them do it. She says that she wants them to have a chance to "just be kids".

On top of this I'm lucky if she pays me $3 an hour. I've talked to people about this and they say "So just don't babysit" but it's just not that easy because if I stopped babysitting for her she'd be pissed at me and she would inisit her husband is pissed at me too which then causes problems between him and his brother and my boyfriend and me. My boyfriend and I already have enough problems to work through (not that we have a bad relationship, is just that we don't need MORE stuff on top of the few conflicts we need to resolve) and a baby on the way. Plus she's accused me of bringing probelms between her and her husband...because "they have a perfect relationship and just because my boyfriend and I don't doesn't mean that I need to give them problems"...the funny part is her relationship is far from
perfect and she doesn't even know it. Her husband is Mexican and barely speaks English, my boyfriend tells me (I speak Spanish, we don't have many problems with language) that his brother doesn't even understand his wife and most of the time he has no idea what's going on...I'd say that was a HUGE problem, but she has no clue that he doesn't understand (both brothers are very good at smile & nodding). Plus she wants him to adopt her kids and he's like "no freaking way", but he won't tell her that.

Ok, I really need to stop now or I'm going to get myself upset and I really don't need that right now...anyway...does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle the situation/kids/her/etc...??????

CarolinaCutie · #2 06-01-2004, 01:51 PM

$3.00 an hour for 4 children? You are overworked and SERIOUSLY underpaid. I don't have any advice for you though, just sympathy

KillarneyRose · #3 06-01-2004, 01:55 PM

Honestly, $3 an hour isn't worth all the stress these people are giving you. I pay my babysitter $10.00 an hour for watching my two children and, just between you and me, if she said she needed a raise I'd probably fork it over to her.

Good babysitters are VERY hard to find, so don't waste your time (and your sanity!) on these people!

Lady Pi Phi · #4 06-01-2004, 01:56 PM

This sounds like really bad situation.

I know you don't want to cause problems between your boyfriend and his brother and you and the wife, but I think you should stopp doing this.
First of all, I believe the standard minimum for babysitting is at least $5 an hour so she isn't even paying you enough (and like you said coincidentally she has enough money for a new van, etc). Also, this situation seems to be putting you under a lot of stress. I don't think stress is healthy during a pregnancy and it could potentially put you and the baby at risk.

I just think you have to do what's best for you, and babysitting these kids just doesn't seem to be a good idea.

Kevin · #5 06-01-2004, 02:02 PM

Easy solution: Call DHS

swissmiss04 · #6 06-01-2004, 02:11 PM

I rather agree w/ KTSnake. Sounds like these kids are not being raised well and in fact being neglected mentally, emotionally, and physically (poor nutrition, lack of dental care). At the very least, you do not need to involved yourself in a situation this bad, especially not for what you're getting paid. Girlfriend or not, you are entitled to AT LEAST 10 an hour. If it were me, I'd charge 15, since there are so many kids and they're such pains in the arses.
Also, mentioning your boyfriend for a second, if you relationship has lots of things to work through, it's probably not worth working out. If you were already married, then maybe it would be worth it. As it is, I'd say get out. You need to look out for you (and not a mess of squalling brats!)

33girl · #7 06-01-2004, 02:24 PM

Tell her the doctor said that due to your pregnancy you should not be under the stress of taking care of 4 "lively" children. If your boyfriend's brother is such a doormat that he'll be mad at you just because this heffa told him to, that's his issue. Your relationship problems are yours and theirs are theirs...she might want to pull her head out of her ass and realize that (sorry, but this is what it sounds like) considering he can't even converse with her, she is serving as nothing but a receptacle. Period.

At any rate, if you have to tough it out for a little while longer, try to get the 9 year old to help you out as far as the smallest ones go. If they're still doing this crap a couple years from now SHE is going to be the one stuck watching them all the time, so it's in her best interests to straighten them out now.

SSS1365 · #8 06-01-2004, 03:03 PM

I feel so bad for you!

Of course my first thought was that you should stop babysitting them, but then I read about the problems you'll have if you do that. So I agree with 33girl... just blame it on the doctor (and I'm sure the doc would tell you it's not good for you anyway). In that case, she shouldn't get mad... although she sounds SO mature

, so who knows, maybe she will anyway. But you have got to get out of that situation.

And I am like

at the fact that she won't get her kid's tooth fixed, but yet she can buy all this other crap. It makes me so angry the way some people choose to raise their kids!!!

AlphaFrog · #9 06-03-2004, 02:45 PM

Quick Update....

Unfortunatly nothing that helps the situation much but it's still hilarious....

Yesterday I had to take the mother to work so I could use her van to schlep the kids around the city and pick her husband up from work (he doesn't have his US liscence yet). ANd after I pick up her husband he's in charge so I get to go home. She got off work early and tried to call her husband but he didn't answer the phone-4 times within two hours. When I went to get her she was halfway home walking and VERY pissed (not at me because she didn't have my number to let me know that she was off early...it's stored on the cell phone that she gave to him so she could call him...) When we got back home (we live two houses apart, which makes it even better

) her husband had let the kids go across the street to a neighbor's who is known for not watching her kids (normally if the monster kids are outside the mother is stalking them like crazy making sure they don't leave the boundries, etc...) well...the 3 year old was actually playing in the road... (not really all that dangerous being that it's a tiny side street, but still..... I'm sure her husband got a new @$$hole when she got ahold of him!

James · #10 06-03-2004, 03:40 PM

Did they kiss you before they screwed you?

abaici · #11 06-03-2004, 03:49 PM

WOW, and I thought I was babysitting Satan's spawn this weekend. I only have problems with her going to sleep. I feel much better.

sageofages · #12 06-03-2004, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
Quick Update....

Unfortunatly nothing that helps the situation much but it's still hilarious....

Yesterday I had to take the mother to work so I could use her van to schlep the kids around the city and pick her husband up from work (he doesn't have his US liscence yet). ANd after I pick up her husband he's in charge so I get to go home. She got off work early and tried to call her husband but he didn't answer the phone-4 times within two hours. When I went to get her she was halfway home walking and VERY pissed (not at me because she didn't have my number to let me know that she was off early...it's stored on the cell phone that she gave to him so she could call him...) When we got back home (we live two houses apart, which makes it even better ) her husband had let the kids go across the street to a neighbor's who is known for not watching her kids (normally if the monster kids are outside the mother is stalking them like crazy making sure they don't leave the boundries, etc...) well...the 3 year old was actually playing in the road... (not really all that dangerous being that it's a tiny side street, but still..... I'm sure her husband got a new @$$hole when she got ahold of him!

Not to belabor this point....BUT....

there is some sort of intervention needed for these children. Lack of medical care (bad dental care can effect many things in a growing child...including heart muscle development

, lack of proper supervision and guidance are BIG issues. The fact that a 3 year old was playing in the street WITHOUT supervision (not saying playing in the street in and of itself is bad...no supervision is bad) IS BAD. Not only for risk of getting hurt, but children vanish at a terrible rate in today's world.

Stress to you while you are pregnant is a bad thing as well. As you get further and further along in your pregnancy, you will find caring for these children will be more and more difficult. I suggest helping the mom find quality day care. With her paying you so little (way way way too little), it makes me wonder if affordability is an issue. There are ways to track down assistance for day care. You and the family in question would be best served by you using your energeries to help her locate quality, affordable, permanent day care, WITH assistance if she needs.

Good luck

Tom Earp · #13 06-03-2004, 06:44 PM

To Bad Duck Tape is out of the question for both the kids and parents!

Hell for 3.00 $ and hour, save your strength and heart ache!

This is not a good situation for you!

thetalady · #14 06-04-2004, 08:43 PM

It is so SIMPLE......

QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW

ANY QUESTIONS??????

swissmiss04 · #15 06-05-2004, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thetalady
It is so SIMPLE......

QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW

ANY QUESTIONS??????

yup