Stupid FLA laws

[cashmoney]

http://www.dumblaws.com/states/states.php?State=Florida

[ZTAngel]

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

Well shit.....

[cashmoney]

I like the "You may not kiss your wife's breasts" law. How stupid is that?

[adpiucf]

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Oral sex is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
Get the full text of this law.
Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence.
Get the full text of this law.
Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
Get the full text of this law.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
Get the full text of this law.
Why does this law exist?
It is illegal to sell your children.
Get the full text of this law.
The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
Get the full text of this law.


Big Pine Key

It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.
Broward County

Persons may not be "inappropriately attired" who work at hot dog stands.
Get the full text of this law.
Cape Coral

It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house.
Cape Coral City

A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport. (Passed June 2002)
Daytona Beach

The molestation of trash cans is banned.
Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.
Get the full text of this law.
Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn't capable of draining is considered a public nuisance.
Get the full text of this law.
Hialeah

Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
Key West

Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Naples

Neon signs are prohibited.
Get the full text of this law.
Palm Bay

Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles.
Get the full text of this law.
Pensacola

Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.
A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
Sanford

Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota

If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
You may not catch crabs.
Satellite Beach

Beer may not be sold between 2 a.m. and 7 a.m.
Get the full text of this law.
Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.
Get the full text of this law.
Seaside

All houses much have white picket fences and full-width, two-story porches.
Why does this law exist?
Tampa

Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".
Get the full text of this law.
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.
Get the full text of this law.

[adpiucf]

I have compiled my favorites below and have surmised that based on these laws, that the UCF Greek System is in severe and dire jeopardy, especially if men may not be seeing publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Yes, I'm kidding. Or ... am I???

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
Oral sex is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence.
Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
Sanford:Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota
You may not catch crabs.
Satellite Beach
Beer may not be sold between 2 a.m. and 7 a.m.
Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.
Tampa
Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I have compiled my favorites below and have surmised that based on these laws, that the UCF Greek System is in severe and dire jeopardy, especially if men may not be seeing publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Yes, I'm kidding. Or ... am I???

No, you're not. I'm going to leave it at that....

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I have compiled my favorites below and have surmised that based on these laws, that the UCF Greek System is in severe and dire jeopardy, especially if men may not be seeing publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Yes, I'm kidding. Or ... am I???

Am I missing something here?

[adpiucf]

I think ZTAngel and I will agree that you have to be a Golden Knight to fully understand just how close to home those laws hit...

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by adpiucf
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

We also have this law in NC...except the shades also have to be drawn shut.

Originally posted by adpiucf
Broward County
Persons may not be "inappropriately attired" who work at hot dog stands.

They also have this law in Tampa. Remember when all the bikini-clad women set up hot dog stands along Tampa's streets back in the late 80's and early 90's?

Originally posted by adpiucf
Cape Coral City
A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport.

Also have this on in NC....let me tell you they definitely need it!

Originally posted by adpiucf
Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.

If you've ever been to Key West you know this is definitely still in effect. Those birds are crazy! They could whoop my butt.

Originally posted by adpiucf
Tampa
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

I remember when they imposed this law...I was in high school (or shortly thereafter, possibly freshman year in college). There was a lot of controversy about it, but the funny thing is the dancers were more pissed about it than anyone! They thought it was going to hurt their income.

[adpiucf]

That's right! In the 80's-90's, they had women hot dog vendors in thong bikinis to attract customers, right? Ew, those are some buns I could do without, thank you very much!

[smiley21]

Originally posted by adpiucf
That's right! In the 80's-90's, they had women hot dog vendors in thong bikinis to attract customers, right? Ew, those are some buns I could do without, thank you very much!

if my leg wasnt hurting so bad, i would have fallen out of my chair from laughing

[aabby757]

The reason doors must open outwards is incase of a fire. That way you can just barrel through the door and not in a panick have to remember to open the door inward and risk being trampled on.

I think that law is everywhere in regards to school, arenas etc. Fire marshall enforces it.

The other laws are hysterical!

Thanks for the list.

[Lady Pi Phi]

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

This is my personal favourite.

Remind me not ride my elephant down to Florida. I don't want to have to pay for parking.

Here in Canada parking our elephants is free. But in the winter we must pay to park our dog sleds.

Here is one from Canada

It is illegal for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine. (Repealed)

I believe this law is still on the books. I am checking.

ETA: I checked. It has not been repealed.

[swissmiss04]

The first time I ever voted, there was a resolution to remove the "no interracial marriage" law. I am dead serious. And what's sad is that this was within the last five year. Granted, it hasn't really been enforced since maybe the 60s, but the fact that it was still on the books baffled me. Even worse, it didn't pass w/ a total landslide. It ended up being 65% for repealing and 35%against repealing it. Sick.

[KillarneyRose]

I wonder if breast-kissing is legal if it is someone else's wife?