Dating Rebounders

XOMichelle · #1 01-28-2005, 12:57 PM

My question is: what is "typical" behavior for a rebounding boy?

Story: I've been on a few dates with a boy who broke up with his ex about 3 months ago. They dated for about 2 years (one of which was long distance). I'm a little worried about the rebounding thing, although I am going to move across the country in 6 months, so I'm not that worried. I just want to know what rebounders do. I mean, what's in the realm of possibility?

ETA: Oh, and I don't really want a realtionship. If I had my way at the moment I'd casually date him for a long while.

sugar and spice · #2 01-28-2005, 01:49 PM

Obviously there are no concrete rules, but one I've noticed is that they tend to get serious about you too quickly. If a guy really wants to get to know you, he will hold back and take things one step at a time. If you're a rebound, he'll treat you like you're just a stand-in for the girlfriend he just got dumped by because he's not used to being alone and he misses the gratification of a relationship. So if he starts saying "I love you," etc. way too early for comfort -- don't take this too seriously.

Also, if he starts comparing you to her -- even if it's in a positive way, i.e., "You are soo much smarter than Jessica" -- that's a major sign that he's not over her yet.

angelic1 · #3 01-28-2005, 02:01 PM

i agree on the making little comments thing, hhmm.. mentionitis.

But maybe you can just ask him what he thinks about things, well I dont know if you want to though if you dont want things to be serious either.

But, I asked my boyfriend if our relationship was some rebound thing. I dont think that now, but I was questioning it at first bc it had only been about four months since him and his ex had broken up when we met. They had been together three years. But he told me that it had really been over before then.. they just did the back and foth thing for a while.. break up, get back together, break up, etc. so you never know.

Coramoor · #4 01-28-2005, 02:06 PM

From my experience it has been the exact opposite from what sugar said.

I date as many girls as possible and don't even think about a relationship. If a girl actually starts to get into me and wants something more-I immediatly distance myself from her.

XOMichelle · #5 01-28-2005, 02:13 PM

thanks all. I don't think it's going to be much of a problem, I was just wondering if there were "warning signs". I haven't seen anything like you have mentioned yet.

AchtungBaby80 · #6 01-29-2005, 02:34 PM

I think I dated a "rebound guy" once. He had this ex whom he'd dated for, like, 2 years or something, but they broke up several months before he started dating me because she was really unstable (to put it nicely). However, they still talked all the time, and she was still very much a part of his life...even his mom made presents for her (while I was dating him) and stuff like that. The only thing was, he kept all this from me and never mentioned it; I just happened to find out from his friends and other people who knew both of them. He insisted it was over, and I have no doubt it was, but I think he liked the drama of still being in touch with her (because believe me, that gal was a walking soap opera) and in the end that's what made me run far, far away.

I agree with whoever said to watch guys who get too serious too fast...that can be a warning sign of a rebounder. This guy did that, and then kinda freaked because we were getting in a "rut"...hmmmm.

RUgreek · #7 01-30-2005, 01:17 PM

I don't think it's the fact that he's rebounding you should be concerned with. All guys act differently in relationships and break-ups, so I don't think there is a typical type of behavior for a guy who's on the rebound. My personality was when I went on the rebound dates, it was just to forget about the ex's and so it was a meaningless connection. However, some guys get attached to the first girl that gives them attention and may react badly to a rebound break-up. Ask yourself how did he react when he broke up and is he a stable guy overall?