Image Talk

[BabyBlue91]

Sorors,

How would some of you proceed to inform a sisterfriend (or even a soror) that her image (read: appearance) needed a little work?

[TheEpitome1920]

What do you mean by image? Physical appearance or personality? Anytime you tell someone something like that they are more than likely going to be offended. So it has to be done in a respectful manner. And I guess I wouldn't say it directly but in a manner where she would get the hint. But then I guess it also depends on how well you know the person.

[Shelacious]

Because feelings will be hurt anyway, I'm usually either funny and direct about it ("girl, you know those pants are too big for you, right?") or I just state that we should go shopping together, and then I help her pick out things that are more flattering to her figure/face etc.). I don't really do the 'sit 'em down and be somber' role because it doesn't fit my personality well--it looks like I'm lecturing to them, which means they'll probably tune me out.

[BabyBlue91]

I should have been more clear. By image, I meant clothing and hairstyle. If anyone else would like to jump in at this point, it would be greatly appreciated, and I am very thankful for the response so far!

Also, as an addendum, would you approach SF in person or over the phone?

[rho4life]

in person. over the phone, some of the message could get lost. in person, you could help fix hair, or point to areas where clothes are too big or too loose.

[Strive]

Originally posted by BabyBlue91
I should have been more clear. By image, I meant clothing and hairstyle. If anyone else would like to jump in at this point, it would be greatly appreciated, and I am very thankful for the response so far!

Also, as an addendum, would you approach SF in person or over the phone?

I know personally that my image, clothing and hairstyle need a lot of work. I am an intelligent woman, but my appearance does not say that. That's why I signed up for Charm School and joined Toastmasters.

Charm School will give me the appearance confidence and Toastmasters will give the auditory confidence I need to be a much better person.

What really convince me to signed up for Charm School was the owner of the company I worked for at night, I did a few temporary assignments for her during the day. She was really impressed with my work. Every one gave me great reviews. Even my direct supervisor heard about how good I was.
I know I am a great worker, but my appearance keeps holding me back. But not anymore.


I personally would have no problem with anyone telling me I need to shape up because I know deep down inside it is TRUE.

Today, I got the brains, but I don't have the looks.

By July, I will have both brains and looks. Hot damn. World watch out for me.

[ladylike]

Go 'head, Strive!

@Babyblue---when you say clothes/hairstyle, what do you mean? Are her clothes/hairstyle outdated? Disheveled? Ill-fitting? Is she going through some things at this time?

Maybe you could suggest a girls night-out...take her to a MAC cosmetic counter and they can give her a makeover and compliment her on a certain attribute ("I wish I had your skin/eye/cheekbones---I think this shade would really play it up").

Go shopping and suggest some items ("girl, I think this color would look so cute on you!!")

Ask her to go walking/working out with you girl ("ok....divas need to be summer-ready, let's go walking on our lunch hour").

You can be helpful and affirming at the same time.

[KamikaZee03]

@ BabyBlue- Im still kinda confused by what u mean by apperance? , although this could just be one of my off days & im just slow...lol

I usually do it in person, but I dont like it when people nag about it constantly..."Oh girl you would be so cute if you did this" Hearing this about 1000's times over will make you not want to take their helpful suggestion.

We use to do makeovers on each other in H.S. that kinda help too.

Personally, I have my good apperance days and others I look like a hot mess, and after years of nagging by my mother and sisters and rebelling against what they thought was "acceptable" I finally found my niche...took a while, but im there...maybe w/o the critical nagging it couldve happened earlier and I would stop getting "Wow you look alot better than what you did in H.S.!!" thanks...I think.

SO dont nag...please dont nag