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  #1  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:10 PM
pachick21 pachick21 is offline
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i am a senior at a major university and am in a sorority (I pledeged my freshmen year) at the time it was a great experience, but last year i have totally grown out of the whole greek scene and no longer wish to be associated with my sorority. i have heard from girls in my organization that there is no way out and that I am stuck in it for the next year. I have no desire to be associated with these girls and really dont wanna pay the big buck to stay in.....IS there and out????
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  #2  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:22 PM
Gizmo Gizmo is offline
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Are you not allowed to go alum until after graduation, despite the previous three years of service to your organization? Do your national documents leave you no options at this point in time? Do you want to be involved after graduation?

In my sorority (Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies), you would have three options at this time. 1) You can deactivate and turn in your member certificate and letters and no longer claim membership in the organization (permanent separation). This is usually the very last choice. 2) You can become an inactive for up to two semesters consecutively. Again, not a very highly encouraged option. 3) You can choose to become an alum as long as you have completed four semesters as an active sister. As a result of the options provided by my organization, I am surprised you have no options available to you.

I am baffled by the lack of options for such situations.

Gizmo
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  #3  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:27 PM
pachick21 pachick21 is offline
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Gizmo~

Thanks for your reply....but my sorority has no options for getting out unless you can prove financial distress and that your parents cant afford to pay dues either.

I just want out!
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  #4  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:36 PM
Gizmo Gizmo is offline
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I am so sorry to hear that!

Good luck finding a solution.

*HUGS*
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  #5  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:40 PM
etienneSAI etienneSAI is offline
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girl, claim financial distress if that's what it takes! say you can't pay your dues and that your parents refuse to. that's one easy out. another out, which is kinda rude but possibly necessary is just not showing up to anything, not voting on anything...basically going inactive. and if you refuse to pay your dues, they have no way to get it out of you, do they? that's just another thought.

etienne
sigma alpha iota

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"red is the color of music and has been since the very earliest of times. the caps of faeries and musicians are well-nigh always red."~*~w.b.yeats

"I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck." - Tori Amos
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  #6  
Old 08-08-2000, 10:40 PM
12dn94dst 12dn94dst is offline
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Pachick21,

Forgive me if i'm saying something that you've already though of, but what about stop paying your dues, stop going to meetings and "wean" yourself from the other members?

I hate to hear that you've become disenchanted with greek life. Is it just your chapter sisters or the organization as a whole? Something my Big Sisters told me when we were on line comes to mind: Your organization is much bigger than the chapter on your campus.
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  #7  
Old 08-08-2000, 11:09 PM
theXgirl theXgirl is offline
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Hi Pachick21,

Contact your chapter advisor or national office(I'm assuming you're in a national). I'm sure they could work something out with you if you could explain your situation, ie: too busy with school or work, etc...

I would not recommend not paying your dues flat out because you can be sent to a collection agency. (I've seen it happen.)PLEASE talk to someone who has authority in your organization.

Best of luck to you
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  #8  
Old 08-09-2000, 12:53 AM
Eli Eli is offline
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I dont see how they could have the stipulation that your parents would have to pay, if you could not? (But if you entered your sorority when you were 17, the contract would be null, as a minors signature would not hold up in court).

Easy E
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  #9  
Old 08-09-2000, 07:04 AM
AXO Alum AXO Alum is offline
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Are you really wanting out of the "greek scene" or are you just the average senior who is tired of everything ? I think there are many seniors who have been greek for 3 years that get burned out - I know this is true in my chapter. Our chapter (informally) offers a break to these seniors who are just really stressing over grades, graduation, job hunting, etc. They don't come to every event (except ritual and other events that are fined) and we just make sure to help them out so they can still have fun their senior year.

On the other hand, if a sister truly wants out then our organization can't really stop her. We have had sisters formally turn in their pin and resign, and we've also had sisters just stop paying dues and showing up for stuff. If you truly don't want to be an XYZ anymore, I don't see how they can stop you. But I caution you against this until you are really sure. If you do this you'll probably lose good standing in your organization which is usually important if you ever seek alum status. Many seniors later end up participating more in alum stuff than chapter stuff after they've had a chance to step back and chill out.

I just ask that you really take the time to ask yourself: am I just burned out or do I really never want to associate with anything dealing with XYZ? Please feel free to email me if you want to discuss other issues!
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  #10  
Old 08-09-2000, 09:31 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Pachick-

Claim financial distress, and say your parents won't pay. Have them write a letter to your nationals if you have to.

I can't believe they won't let you go inactive for 2 semesters. That's lame.

If you are against everything the sorority stands for and know for sure you want nothing to do with it as an alum, you can try to terminate yourself a.k.a resign. Your nationals might not let you though, one of the girls in my chapter terminated herself and our nationals basically refused to accept it because she was a senior. The way I look at it - someone said in another thread if they don't want to be a brother/sister anymore, I don't want them there either.

I agree with AXO Alum - I think you might just have a serious case of senior burnout!!! Wait till you get back this fall and see how things are.

Just curious, what do sisters that have internships or student teach do? I would hope your org has some kind of professional status option.
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  #11  
Old 08-11-2000, 02:28 AM
NoLongerGreek NoLongerGreek is offline
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Girl, I totally understand your situation!!! (note my name)

I decided very recently that this just isn't for me anymore. I love the Greek system and I love the people I've met in the system, but it's just not what I expected when I went through rush. I feel cheated and led to believe my house was something it's not.

If you truly want out of your house, there are ways to do it. I don't care if your bylaws say you have to be a member regardless (been there, done that)... you could do what I did. I wrote to the national offices, to our regional advisors, to my sisters-- basically to everyone I could think of, and expressed my disappointment and my wish to be removed from the list of active members in the house. Although it was disappointing to both me and the members of my house, I'm turning in my pin at the first meeting of the school year.

Above all, no matter how much I believe the Greek system is VERY MUCH worth getting involved in and is such a wonderful experience and you get to meet new people, yada yada yada--- it is absolutely NOT worth it to stress yourself out over things that could cause damage to your academics or to your health, both of which happened to me.

I wish you the best and hope your heart tells you what the right decision is.
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  #12  
Old 08-11-2000, 02:56 AM
theXgirl theXgirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NoLongerGreek:
I decided very recently that this just isn't for me anymore. I love the Greek system and .....
I have a couple of questions for you No Longer Greek.

1. Are you a first year member?
2. For the problems that your chapter apparently has, have you tried to create some solutions rather than just throwing in the towel? Maybe you can be a leader and take the initiative to make positive changes with the help of national officers, local alumnae, etc..

If you love the greek system as much as you say you do, just remember, all it takes is ONE person to make a difference.


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  #13  
Old 08-11-2000, 10:48 AM
deltapsi
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etienneSAI, i wouldn't give her the advice to just "stop going to things, stop voting, and refusing to pay dues..." because depending on the sorority ths could have major repercussions!!
in my sorority we sign financial agreements after becoming a sister which state a specified fine if a member does not go to a specified event without getting permission to be absent... this agreement also says that the chapter can hire a collection agency in order to collect any unpaid fines or dues from the member. i know this may sound harsh, but atleast we have always been able to obtain our money from "sisters" that have stopped fulfilling their membership requirements... so, find out if your chapter is able to do any of this before ending paying dues altogether!
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  #14  
Old 08-14-2000, 12:58 AM
NoLongerGreek NoLongerGreek is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by theXgirl:
I have a couple of questions for you No Longer Greek.

1. Are you a first year member?
2. For the problems that your chapter apparently has, have you tried to create some solutions rather than just throwing in the towel? Maybe you can be a leader and take the initiative to make positive changes with the help of national officers, local alumnae, etc..

If you love the greek system as much as you say you do, just remember, all it takes is ONE person to make a difference.

I figured one of my first posts would ask some questions, so here goes.

In response to your first question, I have been a member for three semesters.

In response to your second question, I have tried all summer to come up with some solutions for the problems. Like I said, I have written and called everyone I can think of, including our local alumnae, my sisters in the house, my big sis in the house, the regional advisors, even the president of our executive board. The response from each person is the same. "It's in our bylaws that...." I have tried to reason with them, I have tried to argue, I have even tried begging them to re-think the policies that have been in place for over a century with no changes. It's like the entire organization turned its back on me, and I'm trying to reason with a brick wall. I guess this one person just wasn't meant to change this particular organization's bylaws...

It seemed to me, in the end, that the organization was encouraging me to be an independant woman and to think for myself, but the moment I started doing so they told me I couldn't be a member of their organization if I continued to do what I was doing.

To clarify, there is only one main problem I am having with the organization. The bylaws state that unless the house is at capacity (and our house is 3 short of capacity), active members must live in the house, and if they do not their membership will be terminated. They want me to move into the house, and I would rather live in an apartment for a year before moving into the house because of personal problems I've had recently. Exceptions have been made before when the house was not at capacity (both for financial & personal reasons), and there are two other women living out of the house next year for financial reasons. Well, I'm in a year-long lease now, and I can't just up and move in three days.

In addition to this, the women in my house have been... let's just say less than sisterly. Nearly everyone I've e-mailed or called about this situation has had something downright MEAN to say to me when I questioned their bylaws, with few exceptions (such as the president of executive board, who is wonderful). I feel like even if things did change, why would I want to be a part of this house anyway?

I want to say again, though, that I am a huge advocate of the Greek system. I have made so many wonderful friends through the system and I have had some great opportunities I would not have had if I did not join a sorority. I would, and DO every day, recommend that women and men go through rush and find a house that suits them. I would never wish the pain I've had from this situation on anyone else, but I want to believe that my experience is isolated.

Hope this answered some questions, and I won't have to answer them again... :crossing fingers:

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  #15  
Old 08-14-2000, 09:00 AM
Corbin Dallas Corbin Dallas is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NoLongerGreek:
To clarify, there is only one main problem I am having with the organization. The bylaws state that unless the house is at capacity (and our house is 3 short of capacity), active members must live in the house, and if they do not their membership will be terminated.
We had a similar problem this past spring. Several guys wanted to live out of the house for personal reasons, and a few couldn't live in the house because of prior commitments to be on residence hall staff. This put us 2 men short of having the house filled. Only one of the six or so guys, aside from the RH staff, asked the EC if it was ok if he moved out. When it came time to sign the new leases, there were five more guys moving out, and they had already signed leases. EC decided that since only one of them had permission, and that was providing the house was full to capacity, they would all have to split the cost of the 2 men that weren't living in the house. This means it is costing them quite a bit more to live out of house than it normally would, but our president said earlier in the year that noboday has to live in the house, but if it's not full, they'll have to pay. Let's just say these guys aren't too happy about it, but they were forewarned.

------------------
Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.
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