I Need Some Sisterly and Brotherly Advice

SeriousAKA · #1 07-17-2001, 03:30 PM

I am having a serious problem and need some advice. Let me explain the situation. Here goes...

Two summers ago I started seeing this guy. He was real cool. Perfect in every way. We were inseparable! Everyone knew that we were a couple even though we were really playing it cool, not making any committments but only seeing each other or so I thought. Well, right after the first of the year, a friend told me that this guy had gotten engaged to his girlfriend. I was like, girlfriend? what girlfriend? Anyway, I immediately stop the relationship. We eventually started talking again, just as friends. We became kinda like best friends and everything was cool. Well, one night while he was drunk, he began telling me what a mistake he had made and that I should be the one that he was with and could he ever get me back. The next day after he had sobered up I told him what he had said and he apoligized for putting all of that on me but he meant what he was saying.

Well, as time went on and the wedding got closer and closer, he kept trying to get me back so eventually I had to cut off the friendship. We ran into each other the day before the wedding and he started up again, called me from the church, this of course made me feel very awkward. Well, I moved so he no longer had my phone number and i changed my e-mail address so that ALL ties would be cut.

Now to get to my point, last week, I get a phone call from this guy. One of our mutual friends found out my number and passed it on to him. When he called, he was trying to make arrangements to come see me. I explained to him that he is a married man and I couldn't do that. Well, he has decided that he's coming on Saturday. What do I do???? I've told him how I feel and that we could never be. But I do have feelings for him and definatly do not wnat to give into temptation. What do I do?

Sorry the post is long, but situation is really stressing me!

AKA2D '91 · #2 07-17-2001, 03:39 PM

Soror,

Call the law!

Seriously,

If you know he's coming Saturday. You should go out of town, go to a friend's place, get a hotel room, or if you stay at home, don't answer the phone OR the door. You don't have to run from him.

You have told him you are not interested one way or another! NO means NO! Tell him to get back with you AFTER the divorce DECREE has been signed. If you want any dealings with him AFTER that!

sphinxpoet · #3 07-17-2001, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
Soror,

Call the law!

Seriously,

If you know he's coming Saturday. You should go out of town, go to a friend's place, get a hotel room, or if you stay at home, don't answer the phone OR the door. You don't have to run from him.

You have told him you are not interested one way or another! NO means NO! Tell him to get back with you AFTER the divorce DECREE has been signed. If you want any dealings with him AFTER that!

PS Why would you want someone like that in your life anyway.....If he treats his wife like that thnk what he will do when he gets with you.

Sphinxpoet

SFactor · #4 07-17-2001, 04:40 PM

Ditto.....to the two previous posts on this thread!!

I may be old head but I see these games are still being played!!!

...Soror you deserve better - He's out there and he will find YOU!!!!

kitten03 · #5 07-17-2001, 05:13 PM

Situations like this escalate into something serious as in physical harm and/or violence. Stay away from your home. If you cant and he comes, ask him to leave...if he doesn't then call the police. Dont risk getting hurt emotionally or physically

Professor · #6 07-17-2001, 05:50 PM

I think you know what to do. Enough said - -

DreamfulOne · #7 07-18-2001, 09:36 AM

I agree with what was previously said...don't let your FLESH give into the TEMPTATION to be with him, see him, or whatever. Dont leave any place for evil to creep through your walls. If he really wanted to be with you he would have called off the wedding and followed his heart THEN! He basically wants his cake and eat it to and you don't need that. You don't need temporary physical satisfaction which leads to a road of heartache and trouble. I don't think that you should run from your home, however I do believe that before this situation gets any worse or he gets deseparate and psychotic you should end ALL ties. When he called the first time at your new number you shouldn't have entertained him in conversation but put a end to it. You are designed for greatness and you don't deserve to be the "OTHER WOMAN"!

tammy- · #8 07-18-2001, 02:32 PM

Just thank GOD!!! that you found out what an A-hole this guy was before it was too late. I personally would call his wife. So many women get made fools of because every one knows but the person who really needs to know what is realllllllly going on.
Just remember that you do not want to be second to ANY other woman.... Get caller ID, call block his number out or be more assertive....

You might have to snap on him to let him see how serious you are..... He will keep calling until something happens... What is to stop him from coming to your house any other day besides this weekend, or waiting by your car.....

Just remember what you are worth and HEY! WHAT DOES LOVE REALLY GOT TO DO WITH IT?

NADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ClassyLady · #9 07-18-2001, 10:04 PM

You've already done the right thing in severing all ties with him. And, you already know the right thing to do on Saturday. I think that you just posted here because this is a tough situation and you needed some positive reenforcement. You've gotten tons of positive feedback. But, I can't resist an opportunity to give my opinion.

Do what you have been doing and leave this guy alone. A man take vows before God to be true to his wife and then turn around and still try to pursue a relationship with you is dayum good. Leave him alone. He ain't no good.

SeriousAKA · #10 07-19-2001, 12:40 AM

Thanks sooooooo much for all of the advice. I really just needed to hear it form other people. Trust me, this "friendship" is over. I have plans for Sunday and definately won't be around when he comes.

Ya'll are sooooo precious!!

Kiara · #11 07-19-2001, 04:48 AM

umm..CAN WE SAY MAYBE A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR THE FUTURE?..... Soror..dont see him on Saturday.....U KNOW even though you changed your numbers it is still easy to obtian it ..and find addresses....an attorney/semi-stalker from the internet...did a background check on my with my unlisted/nonpublished telephone number and found my address, where i live, my car info..etc.....so it can be done...just be safe.....and u did the right thing to server all ties....

AKA2D '91 · #12 07-19-2001, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SeriousAKA:
Thanks sooooooo much for all of the advice. I really just needed to hear it form other people. Trust me, this "friendship" is over. I have plans for Sunday and definately won't be around when he comes.

Ya'll are sooooo precious!!

I think she received the info she was looking for.