Adoption: Selling babies?????

Lovely · #1 07-06-2001, 10:48 PM

The cost is usually for a brand new infant. If it is an adoption in the USA the $$$ goes to the birth mother for rent, sometimes medical expenses (they may be on Medicaid but want a private room), transportation, food , etc. Of course there are the legal fees, and homestudy. Counseling for the birthmom, adoptive parents. Sometimes the agency or private attorney works with "families" who will keep the infant until the baby is officially free for adoption (most states have a window where the birthmom can decide she wants the baby) The infant stays with the "family" until that window passes. Remember that if the birthmom decides she wants to keep the baby-the adoptive parents are out of luck and money, unless they go with a reputable agency.

Ideal08 · #2 07-07-2001, 12:18 AM

I was watching some Fox news show last night (I forget the name of it, but the host is really arrogant). They were talking about adoption, and reported that the average cost to adopt a BABY in the US is $35-45,000. Is it just me, or is that crazy? What, we're SELLING children now?? And we wonder why group homes are over crowded? The $45,000 that I pay the GOVERNMENT for that child could very well go into a college fund. And if I can't afford to give you $45,000 on the spot, does that make me a bad parent, I don't deserve a child?? What exactly is this money for? Now, that's not the cost for older children, just babies. And then I wonder if they do that because babies are in such high demand, and that's a weed-out function? I don't know, I just know it sounds completely insane to me that people are paying for children. It doesn't cost that much to birth the child yourself! Selling babies... I don't much know what to say about that.

What do y'all think about that? How exactly, do they justify that price? Does anyone here work in Social Services that might be able to shed some light on this subject. Because right now, this sounds like some mess to me.

AKA2D '91 · #3 07-07-2001, 12:27 AM

Soror, just to play devil's advocate. You know there are many, many couples who cannot HAVE a baby the traditional way. So, they are very desperate to "get" a baby.

Then, you have the those single women out there for whatever reasons, wants their own child.

Just thought I'd add that bit of info.
BTW, Good topic!

Ideal08 · #4 07-07-2001, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
Soror, just to play devil's advocate. You know there are many, many couples who cannot HAVE a baby the traditional way. So, they are very desperate to "get" a baby.

Oh, I realize that, but that makes it even worse, because that makes it seem that our government is capitalizing off of other people's misfortunes. "Sorry that you are physically unable to have a child. If you give me $45k, I'll give you one." But, then again, I guess it's just like a couple paying a woman that amount of money to be a surrogate mother. But that's kinda different because that's a personal affair. The government is making CHEDDAR off of this!

Also I wonder what the prices are for older children.

(I'm just thinkin' outloud, y'all!)

Poplife · #5 07-07-2001, 12:52 AM

Well, people have been purchasing children for almost a century. I recall reading this one book back in high school about this poor white woman who sent her kids to some sort of orphan/group home in the 1930's. She was single (husband died), and she needed to find work. She truly planned on coming back and when she did she learned that her children had been auctioned...er...adopted buy...er by a rich family who could not have kids and wanted the full package.

She later found out that the lady that ran the place was a baby broker and was getting pretty wealthy off of her little investments.

The goverment will make money off of anything. That's why I don't mess with the Fed's like that.

DreamfulOne · #6 07-08-2001, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lovely:
The cost is usually for a brand new infant. If it is an adoption in the USA the $$$ goes to the birth mother for rent, sometimes medical expenses (they may be on Medicaid but want a private room), transportation, food , etc. Of course there are the legal fees, and homestudy. Counseling for the birthmom, adoptive parents. Sometimes the agency or private attorney works with "families" who will keep the infant until the baby is officially free for adoption (most states have a window where the birthmom can decide she wants the baby) The infant stays with the "family" until that window passes. Remember that if the birthmom decides she wants to keep the baby-the adoptive parents are out of luck and money, unless they go with a reputable agency.

Are you studying/working in the field of social work ~ specifically foster care/adoptions? I'm a rising senior studying social work and this is one of my areas of interest professionally and personally.

In response to the original posting....

There are "crooked" agencies (public and private). I'm not too educated or knoweledgable (sp) about the cost of an adoption but I'm sure there is some justification in the pricing range.

Lovely · #7 07-08-2001, 02:34 PM

I'm not in that field, however I have adopted, I fortunately or unfortunately have experience in the area. Good Luck to You-the Social Worker that did our homestudy was wonderful.

carnation · #8 07-08-2001, 10:03 PM

If a Pi Phi may respond--

Five of our 13 children are adopted. Only one of the adoptions cost more than we felt it should and our adopted kids are fabulous, incredible blessings who are making us so proud!

However...do you want to see some obscene costs? Go to www.adopting.com and under the listing of agencies, check out the costs. Go to www.abcadoptions.com and look on these forums: adoption hotline and adoption situations. Babies and children of all races, most of whom will be placed for at least $20,000, once all the fees are paid.

Why? Because it's a seller's market, because there are many people out there desperate for children--the infertility rate in this country (and Western Europe, Australia, and Israel) continues to climb. Agencies will tell you they're just covering their costs but why do they charge the same for both a regularly-delivered and a C-section-delivered child? Why are agency and facilitator fees starting to climb again now that the government has announced a $10,000 tax credit for adoptions?

My husband and I would love to adopt again--I feel like the Lord is leading us to adopt some little sisters somewhere. However, unless we can find a situation in which we can adopt independently (without an agency or facilitator, where the children are legally released to the adopting family)--that dream will never come true.

dst-sunshine1 · #9 07-09-2001, 10:41 AM

I have to respond to this. Being scared to death of becoming a single parent ( his father had already expressed that he would have no part), I decided to give my child up for adoption while I was pregnant. I went through an agency, and when speaking to the would be adoptive mom, she said that it was costing her about 100 dollars a day to adopt my unborn child.
Well, after my child and looking into his eyes, I decided to keep my baby. It was my right to change my mind. Well, she lost all the money she had aready put into the adoption. I felt really bad about that. But, I couldn't give up my precious baby boy.
Although I work two jobs and I am a student, and refuse to get help from the government, because it was my responsibility, I would keep him if I had all over to do again. He is definetly the best gift God could have given me.
Sunshine

Lovely · #10 07-10-2001, 12:42 AM

It's very nice that you are able to discount all that the prospective adoptive parent paid out not to mention the emotional roller coaster you put her on, because "he's a blessing from God". I am not saying you should have given the baby up if you truly felt it was wrong. However, you should at least reimburse them for the amount of money they spent on you- I'm sure your God doesn't advise you to just ignore all your responsibilities. Try for one unselfish minute to put yourself in their shoes -"if you are capable".

Ideal08 · #11 07-10-2001, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lovely:
It's very nice that you are able to discount all that the prospective adoptive parent paid out not to mention the emotional roller coaster you put her on, because "he's a blessing from God". I am not saying you should have given the baby up if you truly felt it was wrong. However, you should at least reimburse them for the amount of money they spent on you- I'm sure your God doesn't advise you to just ignore all your responsibilities. Try for one unselfish minute to put yourself in their shoes -"if you are capable".

Does the adoptive mother pay the money to the birth mother? If not, it's not her place to reimburse anybody. This is what I'm talkin' about! The situation is a mess. Why would you pay money for something you don't know if you'll even get? Do they tell these people that the birth mother has the right to change her mind, and that their money could be lost? And why does the money go to the birth mother's rent and all that??? Who would pay her rent if she was keeping the child?

That's just ridiculous, for real. It doesn't make any sense to me, at all. The adoptive parents should NOT have to pay for counseling for the birth mother. This is a decision that SHE made, so SHE should foot the bill. That is clearly some mess. I wouldn't want to pay for that. I would like to adopt a child one day, but clearly, not for d*mn near $50k, and I'm not paying for someone else's counseling, neither. Hmph.

dst-sunshine1 · #12 07-10-2001, 08:23 AM

They adoptive mother didn't spend any money on me. That was what she was paying the agency and her travel expenses. It was also State Law that a birth mother has the right to change their mind up to five days after the birth of the child. She knew of this law and it was in her contract.
As far as my expenses...... My insurance paid for my doctors visits, hosiptalization, c-section. I paid all my co-payments, etc. Not one dime of her money went to me.
As far as counseling.......GOD is my councilor. I don't need a professional with a college degree. I get it free through prayer.
All I wanted was for my child to have a good home. I thought I was doing the right thing, but God helped me to realize that my home, my arms was and is the safest, most loving place my child could be.
Sunshine