time together at the beginning?

veemers · #1 05-04-2004, 08:05 PM

Okay, so I'm about to embark on the scary journey known as "dating someone after being single for a whole year." I have a week between the end of classes and the start of my summer job, and the gentleman with whom I am about to start this relationship wants to spend a lot of time with me during that week. We've only been on one date, and have a second one planned for this weekend. So when I hear that he wants to spend a lot of time with me, HUGE sirens and flashing red lights go off in my head. I don't want to rush into this. My last relationship ended quite horridly, so I want to take baby steps. Said gentleman caller says that we aren't rushing into things, we're just hanging out and doing stuff together.

So I'm wondering, what is a good amount of time for two people to spend together when they're just starting a relationship? I think that one date a week is PLENTY. Obviously my caller has different ideas. What are your thoughts?

swissmiss04 · #2 05-04-2004, 08:11 PM

If you really like him spend more time w/ him than that. Every day is a bit excessive. Depending on your need for space even every other day is too much. Just do this: if you have nothing to do (or nothing you want to do) and you want to see him, see him. If not, then don't.

sororitygirl2 · #3 05-04-2004, 08:13 PM

Normally in the beginning of a new relationship, I spend quite a bit of time with the boy, but it's because I WANT to - not because there is some magic formula on how much time you should devote to one another.

Just spend time with him when you want, and do other things when you want.

AGDee · #4 05-04-2004, 10:49 PM

That would set off huge red flashing lights for me too.. I would run, fast! But, I like my independence and consider dating just something to do when I feel like it. I don't want somebody else invading my life. He has his place, and that's all he gets.

(that's a cynical, twice divorced woman for ya!)

Dee

SmartBlondeGPhB · #5 05-05-2004, 01:01 AM

As much as YOU want............

AXJules · #6 05-05-2004, 04:06 PM

Did he say, during your week off I want to spend LOTS of time with you???

Or did he try to make some plans for a day here and there?

Because if that's the case, I'm not understanding. You said you're planning on starting a relationship with him. The only way you can do that is to spend more than once a week together.
Spending one day a week would be cool if you were casually dating, but you're the one who says you're about to jump into more- sounds like you're the one rushing things.

If it were me and we were talking about some dude I wanted to 'start a relationship' with, I'd be excited that he wanted to spend time with me.

GeekyPenguin · #7 05-05-2004, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXJules
Did he say, during your week off I want to spend LOTS of time with you???

Or did he try to make some plans for a day here and there?

Because if that's the case, I'm not understanding. You said you're planning on starting a relationship with him. The only way you can do that is to spend more than once a week together.
Spending one day a week would be cool if you were casually dating, but you're the one who says you're about to jump into more- sounds like you're the one rushing things.

If it were me and we were talking about some dude I wanted to 'start a relationship' with, I'd be excited that he wanted to spend time with me.

What she said! You're supposed to be excited to see/spend time with him when you're starting a relationship, not be rationing it out.