Chivalry: Is it dead?

[AKA2D '91]

Is it dead in the 21st Century?

Is it a requirement?

[Chi_ZETABBW]

Sisterfriend it is dead and buried.
A brother usually starts out with opening the doors, walking closier to the street, pulling out a chair, but that fades fast.
Not to say I had some dog type brothers, just the opposite, I've had some good men in my life, Praise God. But after awhile those little things stop. I've been opening my own car door so long, that when a man does it, I'm a little thrown back. That's so sad.

[CocoaCaramel]

It's not completely dead. Let's just say it's on life support. There are a few brothas I have met who are very chivalrous. Unfortunately a lot of them are too old for me It's getting to the point that if a guy does open a door for me or something I look at him like he's suspect instead of a gentleman.
On second though yal maybe chivalry is flat linning. Somebody better get those jumper cables!!!

[The Original Ape]

naw; it aint dead yet. it's still some of us fools still around. It's just that alot of yall DON'T DESERVE chivalry.

[nikki25]

I sincerely believe that chivalry is alive and well. I've had many men do chivalrous things for me, and these are just casual acquaintances in church, at school, and in the community. I appreciate it and encourage it.

I think that some women today have worn that anti-chivalrous badge (which may pervade in her language and body attitude) so much so that men don't want to do these things for them. You know the type..the ones whom utter: "I don't need no man to open the door for me, I can do it myself." Or the ones who will say: "What is he grinning at?" If a man sees a beautiful woman and is overcome, he will go out of his way to let you know it. Even if you aren't all that pretty and you are just feminine, men will go out of their way. At least that's what I've experienced as have my sister and my friends.

At any rate, no I don't think chivalry is dead. I just think that our brethren may not be willing to always give it because these pseudo-feminists whom are walking around acting as if they don't want any man to do anything for them. What's wrong with someone pulling out a chair for you? What's wrong with a man greeting you with a smile? What's wrong with a man seeking friendly conversation with you and then sending you a flower the day after just because? Sistas, I say that there isn't anything wrong with it.

Here's my pondering: Once you have chivalry, do you know what to do with it? Do YOU know how to receive a chivalrous act?

And yes, for me, chivalry is a requirement. It speaks to your heart and how you really feel. But my brethren shouldn't go all out with the chivalry upon meeting me. Chivalry is like perfume (or cologne for the men). If you overdue it, its overpowering and scares people off. But if you spray on a dab here and there, it creates a pleasant aroma and people will want to be in your company. I say that because as "just friends" there isn't that much of a need for the intensified chivalry. But when you get to that seriously dating level, then it may be time to pull out all stops. But event then, you should just slightly intensify your play. To go back to the perfume example, you should just intensify the power of your scent without overpowering. That may mean that instead of just sprinkling the perfume on, you bathe with the perfumed shower gel and apply some perfumed lotion, but still not strong. You want to provide the right balance in your chivalrous acts.

(Sorry for the long post, but I just felt a need to provide a lesson in Chivalry 101)


[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited June 28, 2001).]

[sphinxpoet]

"Chivalry is dead....... and women killed it"
David Chappelle

[Oh Drama!]

I don't think chivarly is dead. I've been moving some stuff out of my apartment for the past week and eveyday brothers have offered to help (olders brothers I must admit). I told my man when we first started dating-three years ago-that opening doors, walking on the outside, offering to help women in general were all important to me and he has never failed to do these things. I ALWAYS make sure I say thank-you to him and let him know that I STILL appreciate those things EVERYTIME he does it and that I don't take it for granted.

Although he draws the line at carrying "that BRIGHT-A** PINK CARRY-ON BAG" in the airport. (I'm still explaning the AKA Honey-Do rules.)

[The Original Ape]

chivalry is something you EARN!

[sphinxpoet]

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
chivalry is something you EARN!

I have to slightly disagree....chivalry is something you give to a woman until she shows she does not deserve it!

Sphinxpoet

[pointNclick]

Chivalry is not dead, at least not to me. I am a woman and so I expect chivalrous treatment when I deal with any man. Like my mommy always says, expect and demand the best!

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by sphinxpoet:
I have to slightly disagree....chivalry is something you give to a woman until she shows she does not deserve it!

Sphinxpoet

I tend to agree.

TOA, so what you're saying is that until a woman proves herself worthy of your chivalrous behavior, no doors will be open and no chairs pulled out, etc?? In y'alls forum you were talking bout references... you must be doing something mighty special to keep em coming back!

[dirtymike1906]

"Chivalry is dead...and women killed it."
-Dave Chappelle

Sphinxpoet: Sad but true frat.

[bellebeaua]

Chivalry is alive and well where I reside! My boyfriend is a prince, and treats me like a true gentleman should. This has been in effect for over a year continuously, and he does not miss a beat. However, I will not play it down like I don't return each and every jesture with a sincere display of gratitude.

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Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well

[ENDROAD]

I do not think Chivalry is dead..amongst REAL MEN AND WOMEN...Like Sisterfriend, Nikki, I have men almost breaking there legs to open a door and offer me attention. However, being the kind of women that I am I always smile and thank them but if I am walking in a door and a man does not open it for me I will simply "OPEN THE DOOR MYSELF" he does'nt know me and who is to say he even saw me. I don't make a big deal out of those things from strangers. However, it is a requirement from my significant other and I will hold the door for him too. I teach my son to hold the door for women now and he is a preschooler. So we cannot be angry that a man does not show chivalry,maybe his Mama did not teach him better than that, just "Open the door yourself."

[Professor]

Frat you are right about that. You know when a sister gets those letter behind her name she thinks she has the world by the balls. Many of my girlfriends have even decided to have kids without the husband. I say if a sister wants to play with the men then be able to take the punches

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
naw; it aint dead yet. it's still some of us fools still around. It's just that alot of yall DON'T DESERVE chivalry.