I am old and alone

azdtaxi · #1 02-28-2004, 12:34 AM

So my issue ... last week i turned 22 and I already feel old. I have neevr had a relationship for more than 5 months ... I start causing fights when I get to close to people. So I mean does it look like I am never getting married being so old and not in a relationship. It just seems crazy cause the only places I ever go out are bars where I already know everyone. Oh well any advice?

decadence · #2 02-28-2004, 12:41 AM

Yes. Stop thinking you're so old and past it silly girl. You're only 22. Widen your circle by going to more places and more different types of places if you are concerned.
If you're not married by 22 it doesn't follow you won't ever be. Pull yourself together

And the causing fights thing, wellll some might say you have a fear of intimacy or commitment - whatever. Take some time to think about what it is that makes you do that and talk to your friends; people that know you.

James · #3 02-28-2004, 11:53 AM

No, you're done. You're toast. Give it up, invest in cats so that you can become That Cat Lady later in life and end up being eaten by your own animals after you die.

Think about it. You are finishing college where you had the largest access to available (albeit perhaps clueless) males all with an urge to mate, that you will likely ever have for the rest of your life.

Further, you even increased your probability of meeting a compatible male by joining a social organization that has as a major component the purpose of introducing you to men (mixers) in a pick-up environment.

So things are definitely not looking up for you.

Also, just to cap it off, you admit that its your own neurosis (fear of intimacy) that destructs your relationships. In other words, your fear of the very thing required for a relationship to work dooms you to a life of either being totally alone, or alone even in company.

And you didn't admit to being in therapy for that or reading self help books or anything. The future looks bleak

Quote:

Originally posted by azdtaxi
So my issue ... last week i turned 22 and I already feel old. I have neevr had a relationship for more than 5 months ... I start causing fights when I get to close to people. So I mean does it look like I am never getting married being so old and not in a relationship. It just seems crazy cause the only places I ever go out are bars where I already know everyone. Oh well any advice?

decadence · #4 02-28-2004, 11:58 AM

I thought this morning I should edit my post to say deleted because of being overly harsh. Then I read James' post and realised my post didn't seem so harsh in comparison.

mattpike · #5 02-28-2004, 12:34 PM

it seems that when you are looking for commitment you try to make the wrong thing right, thats why you are afraid of commitment, you have not found that person yet. you fight because deep inside you know they are wrong, and you are just trying to protect yourself. its like wearing shoes that are 3 sizes too small, it just wont work. when you do find your partner it wont seem like commitment, it will just happen. one thing will lead to another and before you know it, boom, its been a few years. my advice is to just enjoy life and see where it takes you. my guess is it wont turn out bad at all. trust me.

sigtau305 · #6 02-28-2004, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by azdtaxi
So my issue ... last week i turned 22 and I already feel old. I have neevr had a relationship for more than 5 months ... I start causing fights when I get to close to people. So I mean does it look like I am never getting married being so old and not in a relationship. It just seems crazy cause the only places I ever go out are bars where I already know everyone. Oh well any advice?

You're not old. really, you're just beginning. I agree with everyone's posts, you got to take pride in being yourself and not think negative thoughts because that only can lead to your downfall.

ZTAngel · #7 02-28-2004, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by azdtaxi
So my issue ... last week i turned 22 and I already feel old. I have neevr had a relationship for more than 5 months ... I start causing fights when I get to close to people. So I mean does it look like I am never getting married being so old and not in a relationship. It just seems crazy cause the only places I ever go out are bars where I already know everyone. Oh well any advice?

22 is very young. A lot of people don't get married until their 30s which is perfectly normal and healthy. Why not get your life together first before you get married? You have nothing to worry about. You still have many years ahead of you before you have to start worrying.

Rudey · #8 02-28-2004, 02:24 PM

You need a puppy!!!

-Rudey

James · #9 02-28-2004, 02:50 PM

LOL, thats so true. If more girls had puppies they would be less needy and have fewer bad relationships

Quote:

Originally posted by Rudey
You need a puppy!!!

-Rudey

azdtaxi · #10 02-28-2004, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rudey
You need a puppy!!!

-Rudey

I hate animals!!! But my crush party is tonight and I went out and bought a cute outfit so i am excited!!!!

PhiPsiRuss · #11 02-28-2004, 05:05 PM

azdtaxi, you aren't even close top being old. If you met the right man, and posted that you wanted to get married, I would suggest that you wait until you are least 25.

Don't look for a realtionship. That only makes you desperate, and men don't like to be lassoed in by desperate women.

Get involved with a lot of activities so that you're life is more fulfilling, and make sure that some of those activities have men. Things will work out. If you're 45 and you're not in a relationship, then start to worry. Until then, just enjoy a life.

NutBrnHair · #12 02-28-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by russellwarshay
If you're 45 and you're not in a relationship, then start to worry. Until then, just enjoy a life.

Oh good. I have two and a half more years. Whew!

PhiPsiRuss · #13 02-28-2004, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NutBrnHair
Oh good. I have two and a half more years. Whew!

Sorry, I should have added, "unless you're content."

JeJe · #14 02-28-2004, 05:39 PM

Maybe you should try to go to different places other than bars. Bars aren't the best places to meet people. (Intoxication takes away the magic of it all.)

You know what they say, if you start looking you won't find it. When you stop looking, it will come to you. 22 is a great young age! You're still trying to grow as a person and discover all the wonderful things in yourself and in life. When the time is right, everything will fall into place.

21 and happy to be single!

Rudey · #15 02-28-2004, 06:48 PM

I don't know you except for the fact that you hate puppies and feel like you're old and lonely because you're 22 and single. Based on that I would say I would gladly dump you even if you were hot.

-Rudey
--Who the phunk hates puppies you cold hearted freak?!?