problem pledge

AlethiaSi · #1 02-24-2004, 11:55 AM

apparently there is a girl who is pledging that is causing a lot of problems between sisters and pledges- and she is making up elaborate lies and getting caught and making up more lies- and some people believe her- and others don't... i was wondering how often do pledges get black listed... i know that once a pledge for us gets black listed we are never supposed to tlak about her ever again... but it doesn't happen... like ever...is this a common event?... do they let this girl continue..... or do they try to get her to depledge? this has taken everyone by surprise b/c she seemed so great at first.... and the girls aren't really sure what to do.. any advice?

decadence · #2 02-24-2004, 12:31 PM

No offence hon but advice point one is don't post such a question on the web (publicly) with your letters in your signature when a local.

Ignoring problems doesn't generally make them go away. Additionally, allowing such a problem to continue is not an option for the continued solidarity of the group to flourish. It is up to your group whether they allow her to continue but allowing her to continue AND for the behavior to continue should not be an option.

You hint that there are processes to deal with this although seldom used. My suggestion (it is only my personal thoughts on the matter I hasten to add - entire post) is look into exactly what these processes are - with alumnae help if necessary to make sure you're familiar with them.

Have the committee or President/Standards person speak with her informally to express concern and that it must cease; maintain that if it continues she will be referred to the standards board / dealt with under the sorority's disciplinary rules. If her behavior continues after the warning, then deal with her under those rules under which the ultimate sanction (in this case) would be expulsion from the group.

There will also be some people who would take the view (like cancelling an engagement versus cancelling a marriage) if someone is a pledge and something like this happens then just get rid of them as getting rid of an active (perhaps more with nationals) is harder. This is up to you, smaller groups often want to hang onto existing members and who knows the person may improve and go on to be a great person in your org. One way or another, do act.
Good luck.

BabyP · #3 02-24-2004, 09:51 PM

You can drop her, warn her once and if she does it again, tell her to hand in her handbook.

honeychile · #4 02-24-2004, 09:55 PM

Having had one of these situations, I say 1) Warn her with definite perameters, and if she doesn't shape up, 2) Lose her.

One bad pledge can bring down an entire chapter!

MTSUGURL · #5 02-24-2004, 10:17 PM

Lies are something it's better not to waste time on. Give her a specified amount of time to change and then tell her exactly what is expected. If she doesn't follow through, discontinue her pledgeship. She is not a permanent member yet.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #6 02-24-2004, 11:22 PM

Blackball that girl!

Okay, that may be a bit harsh, but anyway, seriously, [b]warn her on how close she is to getting blackballed[b]. A good warning never hurt any pledge that's for sure. You said her pledge class is having trouble w/her and also the actives, do you seriously want a girl like that in your organization? Remember, it'll only get worse once she has the letters, then she has nothing to lose.

Tom Earp · #7 02-24-2004, 11:38 PM

Not sure, but if memory searves me right, this same person has posted different things such as this on other threads!

"COGITO ERGO SUM"

May the force be with you!

Get it AlethiSi!

What are you are you trying to get at????

More of your _________!?

decadence · #8 02-24-2004, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Earp:
Not sure, but if memory searves me right, this same person has posted different things such as this on other threads!

Tom, if I may say so.... I believe memory serves you wrong in this case.

AlethiaSi · #9 02-25-2004, 11:47 AM

tom- i know what you are talking about- we've had problems with another sorority and i've asked advice about that- but not another pledge... i've never come across something as serious as this... otherwise i wouldn't have brought it up...i really don't want to bring about action against her- but i do have to agree with what a lot of you have said- one bad pledge can bring down the whole group and all of us- i don't want her giving us a bad name- and i don't particularly care for this girl- and i haven't even met her yet and that can't be good- esp since i've heard terrible things from many different trustworthy girls... this whole get to know you rush process is not without its faults i suppose so thats the chance that we all take- esp with my girls all being so close and we are a smaller group- its especially harmful to us.... i was thinking along the same lines as most of you- and i will pass along my advice to my girls...she has been warned a few times just that i know about... but i'm inactive so there isn't much i can do over here anyway.... thank you all again- i'm happy to see that i wasn't alone in my thinking in this situation....

GeekyPenguin · #10 02-25-2004, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Earp
Not sure, but if memory searves me right, this same person has posted different things such as this on other threads!

"COGITO ERGO SUM"

May the force be with you!

Get it AlethiSi!

What are you are you trying to get at????

More of your _________!?

I think she's trying to get at that her chapter is having problems.

Anyway, because you are a local it's probably easier for you to depledge people, and in this case, that's a good thing. Tell her to get her stuff together or she will not get initiated, and that being a pledge is not an outright guarantee to membership.

maggieaxid · #11 02-25-2004, 01:01 PM

Like everyone else has said, I would have your executive board/standards or whatever talk to her...find out what has went on, let her explain, and make sure its not second hand information you are getting. Then if the information is true and she admits to it, then give her some options, either shape up or ship out.

However, one bit of warning, sometimes when you call people in for standards they get all defensive. do not allow this behavior to happen! if someone can't be rational about an issue, they certainly won't help the chapter down the line.

Kevin · #12 02-25-2004, 02:27 PM

I have a lot of experience with this. I was a senior chapter officer for 3 years. 2 during our colony days and 1 year after we received our charter from HQ.

We had folks like this around. I took the compassionate route. Talked to them, smoothed things over with the people that they had lied to, etc... These people will eventually burn out. They're not worth your time.

My advice is to drop them immediately. Don't play around.. It's not worth your time. It will be more detrimental to your group's reputation in the long run having them around. Screw 'em. They obviously don't care about the organization the way they are supposed to. No one needs this stuff.

Just give her the boot.