How to make sure a leg gets a fair rush?

Fly-A-Kite · #1 02-11-2004, 04:25 PM

Hey--I just have a quick question & am looking for any & all opinions. First, a little background--My sister will be rushing in the fall. My other sisters and I (who are quite a bit older) all ended up joining the same sorority, XYZ, while in school. Although I think it would be great if the youngest sis pledged XYZ , all I really want for her is to make the right decision for HER--even if it means joining a different sorority. In other words, we are not pressuring her at all to join the same sorority we did.

OK so now to the question part--do you think that other sororities on that campus will just assume that my sis will join the sorority she is a leg to, and cut her for that reason? Any sorority would be very happy to have her--I just don't want anyone who is rushing her to possibly overlook her because they assume she will pledge as a legacy elsewhere. I am wondering if I should maybe even send a note to the chapters to address this issue. Of course, I wouldn't want to do anything that might end up actually hurting her during rush--like I said I just want her to have a positive rush experience like I did. What can I say...I guess I'm just an overprotective big sis

Well, any responses are definitely welcome! Thanks in advance for the advice.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #2 02-11-2004, 04:38 PM

OK, well, first off you should know that GC is populated by a bunch of very panhellenically-minded ladies, so pretty much everybody's gonna know from your screenname you're a KAQ.

I think she'll be fine, and I wouldn't reccomend talking to the other chapters for her -- I think that might give the wrong idea (namely that she's not capable of making her own decisions or taking care of her own issues.)

As long as she's interested and excited to be at the other rush parties, I see no reason why the other groups won't want to invite her back. They'll see the same qualities you see in her. I don't see this being too much of a problem until the last round of rush or so -- and by that time I imagine your little sis will know if she's interested in Theta, or just doesn't fit in with the chapter there.

Have you talked with her about her interests?

GtownGirl98 · #3 02-11-2004, 04:40 PM

I am not from a big school... but I do know that legs don't always get the same treatment as non-legs because of the assumption that they will go the same as whoever made them a leg. But I think that it would be different if you were still there and still active with the group.

I would also think that your sister could choose to include her legacy status in the information forms, or in this case not. Would that hurt her chance of going XYZ... I don't know. But if you want her to have a clean chance than I would just advise her to not include that information on the form...

Can you send a rec to your chapter letting them know that she is a leg but it won't be on her info. form? Do the other groups have to know that you sent a rec for her there? Or that she is a leg?

Just wondering...

Let the other groups be on a need to know bases!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #4 02-11-2004, 04:50 PM

That might make XYZ wonder if she's really interested in them, though, and if she's got SEVERAL biological sisters that have already gone XYZ, probably everybody knows anyway.

Maybe she could get some recs to other groups on campus? That might help. But honestly -- unless this girl is very anti-XYZ (and I think the poster would know if she was) I imagine that's where she'll end up. The XYZ house will go out of its way to make her feel at home, and with a family legacy like that, I imagine there will be pressure (real or imagined!) to go with that house.

Fly-A-Kite · #5 02-11-2004, 04:51 PM

Honestly I have no clue about how they do rush these days--anything I do remember from back when would probably be inaccurate now anyway. I think that HotDamnImaPhiMu is right--it is probably best to stay out of the whole situation & just let her personality speak for itself. Like I said, it would be great to have another leg in the family--but first and foremost I just want her to be happy--I'm sure in the end she'll make the decision that's right for her. It's so easy to forget that she's a college-aged woman now--sometimes it seems like yesterday when we were still playing dress-up with all our mom's clothes and make-up

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #6 02-11-2004, 04:52 PM

Plus -- if the poster had such a great rush as a 2x legacy, why wouldn't the youngest sister as a 3x legacy?

ThetaPrincess24 · #7 02-11-2004, 05:11 PM

We encourage the chapter to rush the girls who are legacies to other chapters harder. Sometimes it works and those girls end up pledging Theta. Other times it makes no difference as they have their minds made up prior, but I wouldnt think she'd be uninvited on the assumption that she has her mind made up to join the Theta house.

astroAPhi · #8 02-11-2004, 08:37 PM

It can happen. My little sister is a triple legacy (mom, aunt, and grandma! sheesh!) and when she went through recruitment here, some of the sororities heard she was a legacy and pretty much snubbed her.

Well, that only reaffirmed that she should be Alpha Phi.

But in all seriousness, it can happen. But it was also extremely well-known that she was a legacy because we were very excited about it (her mom sent in a rec... and I think it was like the first rec we'd ever gotten).

I'm sure if she doesn't yap about it to everyone within earshot, she'll be fine.

ztabchbum · #9 02-11-2004, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by astroAPhi
I'm sure if she doesn't yap about it to everyone within earshot, she'll be fine.

I did that and got cut from everyone but ZTA in the first round and I was CRUSHED! I couldn't understand why none of the other soroties didn't want to even give me a chance. Well, that was my fault - my mom went to the same school and it was VERY well known that I was a legacy and had chosed Stetson due to the fact that my mother went there and her ZTA chapter was still there. I wish your sister the best of luck and KNOW that things will work out for her and they did for me, you, and everyone else!

justamom · #10 02-11-2004, 08:51 PM

Take this with a grain of salt. This is from a Southerner whose daughter goes to a school with a strong Greek system.

The first question I will ask is do they need, like or blow of a rec?
If a rec is helpful, you could ask the person writing the rec to add a little line like, "Rhonda Rushee is looking forward to meeting the sisters of ABC" or "Rhonda has expressed an interest in our sisterhood." Something very benign, yet indicating she is open and interested.

If Recs aren't involved, you may want to suggest she be a bit more forward and express her interest in the other GLOs.

I agree with the above, sometimes it's considered a feather in the cap to get a legacy.

Read some of the old rush threads and perhaps direct her to GC.

WhiteDaisy128 · #11 02-12-2004, 12:07 AM

Here at NCSU, we rush legacies to other houses even harder than other PNMs...we give them the best rushers in an attempt to "steal" them from their legacy house...it's all in good fun and all the chapters do it. I don't think I'd worry too much.

GtownGirl98 · #12 02-12-2004, 10:10 AM

As I mentioned in the earlier posting... it will all depend on how involved your family is with the campus. I know at my school we had a girl pledge my freshman year to one group and then two years later her sister did the same... if the second sister hadn't gone the same way then it wouldn't have been as big of a deal when the third sister came two years after that... everyone was talking about how sister number three was open to all the groups and didn't want to be like her sisters... ... ... where did she go on bid day... to the same chapter as her sisters. I don't know why that was (didn't follow the story that closely) but I do know that talk was why bother with trying to get her, she is already going XYZ... it wasn't fair to her or to the chapters, but when you have a better chance of extending a bid to Norma Nolegacy over Lacy Legacy who do you concentrate on?

If your family is a big presents on campus, I would get involved by trying to get recs for the other groups. If your family is not so involved and it has been years since you were at College U, I would just let it be.

ADPiAkron · #13 02-12-2004, 10:52 AM

When my sister rushed at her school...she goes to Miami University in Ohio (giant greek system) and I went to The University of Akron (smaller greek system)...I told her she did not have to join ADPi but to please give them a fair chance. So she did and she really liked the girls, but knew her heart belonged to AXO. She was given a completely fair chance as a legacy I believe.

At my school a legacy from a different GLO was treated differently, but in a positive light. We always gave special attention to legacies from other chapters because my chapter made it a competition within ourselves to try and "steal" the legacies from their respective GLOs! Oops! (I can remember getting quite a few too!)

So do not worry, she will be fine! Best of luck to her and the sisterhood she decides to join!!

Adelphean · #14 02-12-2004, 05:54 PM

At my school we have certain sororities who do their best to bid legacies of other sororites. They've even been known to talk bad a/b the sorority the PNM is a legacy to.

kddani · #15 02-12-2004, 06:16 PM

Okay, I had the overwhelming urge to start a thread that says "How to make sure an arm gets a fair rush?"

/hijack