Confused about whether to rush again...

sweetnessfromga · #1 02-12-2004, 10:31 PM

snip

FSUZeta · #2 02-12-2004, 11:02 PM

i visited brenau with my 10th grade daughter this past summer-what a lovely campus, and so full of tradition.

i am so sorry that recruitment didn't end for you the way you had hoped. that is really tough and your anti-greek reaction is probably how most anyone would have reacted. don't feel bad about that. it sounds like you have recovered from your recruitment experience and are ready to try again. since you have missed spring recruitment, what do you think about giving it another try in the fall? and in the meantime, take the opportunity the rest of the semester holds to really scrutinize each sorority so that you can learn each groups attributes, and how you might fit in with each group. keep your grades up and participate in some clubs on campus. try to get to know girls in each house.

have you tried to talk to the two girls you knew since recruitment ended? they may feel bad that you were disappointed with your recruitment results, but they don't know how to deal with it. and you never know why someone is not invited back or asked to join. it could be as simple as too many potential new members who were legacies(those women having a close relative who is a member of that sorority) or it could be a bit more complicated.

if you do decide to go thru fall recruitment, be sure to hedge your bet by securing letters of recommendation from an alumna of each sorority that will participate in fall recruitment. the alumnae do not have to be a member of that particular chapter, any chapter will do. an alumna of abc sorority can only recommend someone to a chapter of abc sorority. you can contact the alumnae panhellenic association in your hometown, if you don't know any alumnae personally. some of your professors may be members of sororities, as well as family friends, neighbors, former teachers, etc.best of luck to you and i hope that you will try again.

sherbertlemons · #3 02-13-2004, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
But remember this: they probably felt a little weird too because a member doesn't always know what to say to someone who didn't chose their sorority/or got cut from their sorority. The door swings both ways.

Ditto that. It's a really uncomfortable feeling, especially when they're a friend.

Good luck!

amEi · #4 02-13-2004, 12:41 AM

Hi! I have a quick question that has absolutely nothing to do with the original post. But I didn't want to make a new one, and it does involve rushing and letters of recommendation. Anyway, I'm interested in a sorority that has ONE open spot this semester. They're not doing the typical informal rush (whatever that is!), but they are planning to accept one new member. Sooo do you think having a rec would improve my chances? There are several interested PNMs right now, but I think the girls are great, and they seem to like me. So a rec might up my chances, you know? But I'm not really sure if recs are just for formal rush. Tell me what you think. Thanks!!

Edited because I can't type...

PKTKKG · #5 02-13-2004, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by amEi
Hi! I have a quick question that has absolutely nothing to do with the original post. But I didn't want to make a new one, and it does involve rushing and letters of recommendation. Anyway, I'm interested in a sorority that has ONE open spot this semester. They're not doing the typical informal rush (whatever that is!), but they are planning to accept one new member. Sooo do you think having a rec would improve my chances? There are several interested PNMs right now, but I think the girls are great, and they seem to like me. So a rec might up my chances, you know? But I'm not really sure if recs are just for formal rush. Tell me what you think. Thanks!!

Edited because I can't type...

A recommendation can't hurt if you are interested. How do you know they have one spot? Are you in close contact with these women? If so, speak up and let them know you are interested.

Keep in mind that if you go through formal recruitment again in the fall, each chapter will have a new group of women that you went through recruitment with last year and those women will perhaps bring a new aspect to each chapter. Even though it will be recruitment again, there should be a fresh aspect to it as well.

Best of luck and let us know what you decide!

XOMichelle · #6 02-13-2004, 07:03 PM

Do it again! Being is a sorority is one of the best things I have ever done. I love my sisters, my org, and the activities and friendships that are open to me because of it. Don't pass these things up just because you are scared!

I also 2nd the open mind concept. My chapter was of the type you described: people see they have a pref invite from only us and drop. I don't quite understand, since my sisters are a wonderful, likeable bunch, but bad reps and rumors die hard. Here's the thing. People find awesome experiences in "last choice" chapters. Food for thought!

Amalia17 · #7 02-18-2004, 07:58 PM

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DeltaBetaAGD · #8 02-18-2004, 10:57 PM

Keep your head up! I agree with some of the above posts...I think you should try again if you feel it in your heart. It is hard to have those connections and see nothing come of them but it has happened to a lot of us. Things happen for a reason and you can try again and see if it works for you.

Best of luck to you!

bsp-mich24 · #9 02-20-2004, 12:20 AM

I would try it again...you will never know if you do not try. Keep your chin up and smile. Good luck!

CatStarESP4 · #10 02-20-2004, 01:37 AM

I think you should definitely give it another chance. Who knows, you might find the home you so wanted after all. How would you know if you didn't give it another try. Go for it! Keep an open mind, have fun and good luck!

skerbow · #11 02-20-2004, 11:12 AM

Go for it!!

I know from being on the other side, sometimes sororities have to make choices that not everyone in the sorority agrees with. Give these girls the benefit of the doubt and talk to them. Not about the rush process or about what happened, but about them and you and your friendship. If you make an effort to be comfortable around them, they will to.

Also, just because you don't get preffed by them, doesn't mean you can't be picked up on bid day. The selection process is very complex. No one has a guarantee until they have a bid in their hand.

OH! And keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. If you don't get into the house that was #1 on your list, there is a reason. You belong in the house you get and accept a bid from. Trust me on this one. ADPi was not my first choice when I started rush, and they weren't the only ones I preffed. But together we have made a great combination. I am true blue to the core and would not have it any other way. I always tell people they'll know they are in the right house, when they walk in and can see themselves there for the rest of their life.

Good luck!!!