Ok With Celibate Male Mate?

SummerChild · #1 01-26-2004, 04:20 PM

Ladies,
There was a thread in the Alpha Phi Alpha forum asking whether each man would be willing to forgo sexual relations with a woman that he is dating until marriage if she is celibate.

I pose the same question to us:
Ladies, would you be willing to forgo sexual relations with your man until marriage if he was celibate?

SC

delph998 · #2 01-26-2004, 04:34 PM

YES! That would be a blessing from God!

1browngirl · #3 01-26-2004, 05:43 PM

Yes I would.

abaici · #4 01-26-2004, 05:57 PM

Mmm-hmm

Choo-ChooAKA · #5 01-26-2004, 05:58 PM

NO. There are too many men out there trying to "pass" (gay but in denial) with girlfriends or fiancees on their arms. My mind would automatically run to, "he's hiding something." He would be suspect - especially if the celibate thing was his idea. If he was respecting my wishes, that would be a different story. Double-standard? Maybe, but that's life.

lovelyivy84 · #6 01-26-2004, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Choo-ChooAKA
NO. There are too many men out there trying to "pass" (gay but in denial) with girlfriends or fiancees on their arms. My mind would automatically run to, "he's hiding something." He would be suspect - especially if the celibate thing was his idea. If he was respecting my wishes, that would be a different story. Double-standard? Maybe, but that's life.

Co-sign.

delph998 · #7 01-26-2004, 06:01 PM

wow...you all would be like that for every guy? there are some genuine men who are actually trying to live their life properly as a Christian (this is the perspective that I'm looking at it). You all still have that view point?

Choo-ChooAKA · #8 01-26-2004, 06:07 PM

Yes. They would be more suspect than ever!!

lovelyivy84 · #9 01-26-2004, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by delph998
wow...you all would be like that for every guy? there are some genuine men who are actually trying to live their life properly as a Christian (this is the perspective that I'm looking at it). You all still have that view point?

Speaking for myself alone on this one, any man with that viewpoint would not be the man for me.

I don't believe in religion. I believe in holding onto an ethical system that allows you to treat the people around you with respect at all times. God has little to do with how I treat the people around me.

Any man who genuinely believed strongly enough in his chosen faith to be celibate would therefore not be the man for me because I have no such corresponding beliefs. We would make one another miserable.

Since I rule out religion as a reason completely, a man who just didn't want to have sex "just because" would be mighty suspect in my eyes.

desirethegreat1 · #10 01-26-2004, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by delph998
YES! That would be a blessing from God!

I do agree! But Reading the post about being suspicous make me think...

GRITS · #11 01-26-2004, 06:39 PM

Yes(if I had one)! Actually, my whole thing now is that I won't date anyone who isn't a virgin/and or celibate. I just took the vow of purity last march(to God and myself), and I would need someone who would not just agree, but be walking in the same beliefs as I have.

Honeykiss1974 · #12 01-26-2004, 06:53 PM

YES! That wouldn't be a problem for me.

feu_declipse · #13 01-26-2004, 06:55 PM

YES! MOST DEFINITELY!!!

Since I'm not putting out, I don't need anyone putting pressure on me. A celibate guy would be ideal. If he isn't, he will be when he's with me.

But now that the "suspicion" has been mentioned, I'd just have to pray he is what he says he is. That and do some serious background investigation.

RedefinedDiva · #14 01-26-2004, 11:07 PM

NO, I would not stick with him. I'm sorry, but I have to keep it real. Sex is an important part of a relationship. It's not everything, but it ranks high. I, for one, don't want to wait around for x amount of years only to find out that it is wack. He may not be able to perform, might be lacking, etc. Though some guys are trainable, I KNOW that I don't even I want to take that chance. I may stand alone on this one, but that's how I feel.

abaici · #15 01-27-2004, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Choo-ChooAKA
Yes. They would be more suspect than ever!!

What, if he is a minister who is really trying to pratice what he preaches until he finds a wife? Just because a man is celibate does not mean that he avoids intimacy. You can have intimacy without sex. So, just because a man is celibate, I will not think he was suspect.