problems with another sorority

AlethiaSi · #1 02-04-2004, 05:03 PM

i'm currently in london- but i've been talking to my girls back at home about rush... another sorority that is national has been saying really nasty things about us to pnms... that we're dying off- that we are ugly and fat- etc etc etc... (we used to have a bad stereotype- but now we're all really pretty- love to go out- and recruited 16 girls last spring- myself included and now we have 25) this other sorority has about 40 girls- and their rep is going down as being kinda boring (i go to a smaller school- about 6000 with a smaller greek community) but we have a lot of friends in other sororities and we don't ever say anything bad abotu other sororities at all... well this past fall... we had problems with this sorority- the things i mentioned above- we reported them but nothing much happened.... so this semester with formal rush- they deliberately made up lies about us and told pnms- (they were friends of ours that were rushing) and said that we were dying off- fat- ugly- etc etc... and that we sent hate letters to this girl- we don't even know who this girl is!!! its rediculous- and they brought up one of my sisters on charges of harrassment... when she did absolutely nothing- had never spoken a word to this girl in her life.. it just doesn't make any sense... i know you are probably thinking athat something is missing- but its not! they have deliberately been attacking us since we started getting bigger- we are going to go to the greek standards board i believe... but what else can we do- has this happened to anyone else??? i don't even know what to say to my friends that are in the otehr sorority.... its embarrassign and childish not to mention rediculous... any thoughts or ideas?? thanks

Amalia17 · #2 02-04-2004, 05:19 PM

I

TigerLilly · #3 02-04-2004, 05:54 PM

Sounds to me like they're getting jealous and worried because your chapter is growing and doing well. Are they perhaps worried that you will be competition for them? Yeah it's an immature way to handle it, but I've seen it happen before (to my own chapter). Tell your girls just to remember that they're not the ones making up all the crazy lies -- hopefully the PNMs will see how low-class it is for one sorority on campus to talk down about another, whether they know if the stuff being said is true or not.

Tom Earp · #4 02-04-2004, 06:25 PM

Bomb Their Asses!

Kidding of course!

A sad statement to what happens on campi around the world!

Idea, get along, that is why so many damn Schools have low Greek attention span!

We hate each other, then why do they want to join!

Jeeze Stupiidty runs Rampant!

OleMissGlitter · #5 02-04-2004, 06:27 PM

I would just ignore it. PNMs will know where they belong regardless of what they've heard. That just makes the other organization look bad that they are doing that. Also, if a PNM believes these other sorority girls, then ya'll don't need that type of New Member. Keep your head up high and tell your sisters to keep smiling and not to worry about that stuff.

AlethiaSi · #6 02-05-2004, 08:02 AM

yea they are definately jealous and stuff too- the other sororities have been really supportive- but i think thats because they fit into a totally different nitch than we do and so we can all coexist together- but this other group... they feel really threatened... its really not cool and i know they will get whatever is coming to them in the end... but its upsetting... so in the mean time we've just been trying to keep moral up and focus on getting us in control rather than worrying abotu what every one else is doing.... thanks guys so much

justamom · #7 02-05-2004, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amalia17
As a PNM going through rush right now, I see a lot of this going on. Greeks bad talk each other. But I also see it as the ones doing the talking are the ones that I want to stay away from. I am sure other girls will feel this way, too, and not listen to the gossip. And if they do, why would you want them in your group if they succumb to that?

This happened during rush two years ago at my daughter's university. They found out when several of the girls became new members and told the actives. There really isn't too much you can do about it. The ones who buy it will join them, the ones who don't will end up with you.

When I brought this to the GC board (because I was ticked off) some thoughts were- have one president contact the other, take it to Panhell or fight fire with fire. In my mind, the only thing you can honestly do is get out there-be HIGHLY visible-and show them what you're all about!

It's like any "competition". You will have those who play by the rules and those who fight dirty. Unless you can actually show proof, it's a situation of he said, she said...

AOII_LB93 · #8 02-05-2004, 11:19 AM

That has been a problem on my campus before and has happened to my house many times. What is comes down to is to take the high road and not be a part of that stuff. I realize that it's very difficult when you want to say something back and sometimes even feel the need to "get even". Like everyone else has said the PNMs will see that and think less of them. It's a trashy way to act, and the only thing that it will serve to do in the future is make them look bad and ruin their sisterhood.

Stick with it and ignore them.

PsychTau · #9 02-05-2004, 11:27 AM

Ditto what justamom said....

As long as your sorority doesn't stoop to that level, stays visible and positive on campus, and don't overreact to all of this, it should work itself out. If they're talking this much smack to outsiders, chances are they are self destructing on the inside (or will soon). They'll figure out their tactics aren't working, then start getting mad at each other and splitting themselves up (if they haven't already).

Don't know what to tell you about the Greek standards board...we never had one on our campus. Do you think it will make things worse by using that resource? Or what about a private talk with the greek adviser? I'm sure others (including the GA) have noticed this behavior or heard the chatter. Maybe the GA can give you some insight as to why this group is doing this. I'm not saying your sorority is at fault but sometimes we do things that are misinterpreted by others and we have no clue what we're doing. The GA may know something you don't. It doesn't hurt to ask. And if the GA says "Well, you guys do this, and it's really a problem" then you can discuss that with the group and figure out if you want to change it or forget about it. People have to do that all of the time in order to grow and become better people.

Good luck. I know I've been on the receiving end of this crap and it doesn't feel good.

PsychTau

HollisterDXiChi · #10 02-05-2004, 01:13 PM

My sorority was going through the same thing. We had like 10 girls they had 25 and the prez of the other sorority was intent on making sure we didn't get any girls or pretty much go anywhere on campus. She also has some beef with me, I have nothing against her. They've acted as possers to get information about our sorority, sent like a worm to my aol account which totally shut my account as well as my parents aol account down, torn numerous fliers and posters down....we saw the greek coordinator about all the stuff that was going down and I could've ruined their sorority, but I didn't. What you girls have to do is prove that you arn't who they are saying you are. What is going on will continue to go on because its like survival of the fittest. Just prove to them, the campus and the pnm's that you are not what they say you are. I wish you the best of luck with that because I know how frusterating that is, especially when you are playing fair and are good people. Keep your head up!

carnation · #11 02-05-2004, 06:56 PM

Um. You wouldn't be talking about the president of the national sorority there, would you?

HollisterDXiChi · #12 02-06-2004, 11:20 AM

oh goodness no, they are local but like in March NPC will be comming down to take a look at them for colonization and all that stuff. They're going National. Its pretty much stopped now because it was brought to the attention of the Greek Coordinator and she brought it up at the greek council meeting so now they know they are being watched, they arn't doing anything.

little_mi · #13 02-06-2004, 12:53 PM

really cool

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #14 02-06-2004, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OleMissGlitter
I would just ignore it. PNMs will know where they belong regardless of what they've heard. That just makes the other organization look bad that they are doing that. Also, if a PNM believes these other sorority girls, then ya'll don't need that type of New Member. Keep your head up high and tell your sisters to keep smiling and not to worry about that stuff.

Really, really well said.

Though I hate to see you describe your girls like that -- "but now we're all really pretty- love to go out" because it makes you sound like your selection process is more about popularity and less about the strong sisterhood I know you love.

MTSUGURL · #15 02-08-2004, 09:58 PM

A sorority here said some horrible things about one of the others here. Not just one girl, but several of them. Before rush, during, and after. Then they began making nasty comments about us. I can't be very specific because that would identify the group, but we started being extremely sweet to them, in groups, one on one - and it pissed them off horribly. They knew they were in the wrong, PNMs knew they were in the wrong, other people knew they were in the wrong when they saw it take place. Being sweet to them and seeing their faces was the best "revenge" we could possibly get.