Hearing about a party your sibling hosted from a 3rd party...

opaldragon · #1 12-10-2003, 10:18 PM

How would you feel and what would you do in the following situation?

Thursday: You call up a friend of yours to say hello, how're you, etc, and he brings up in the conversation if you are going to a party that one of your GLO siblings is hosting the upcoming weekend. You had absolutely no idea that this sibling was hosting a party, but instead say that you're out of the loop. He invites you to the party and says that you absolutely must attend. You promise nothing.
Friday:Later on, you call one of your siblings to say hello, how're you, etc and they ask you if you'll be attending the party. You respond, yet again, you're out of the loop.
Saturday: The party happens.
Sunday: You go to a sibling's birthday dinner and siblings talk about the party and ask why you weren't there. You say that you weren't feeling well that day, and hey, you're out of the loop.
Tuesday: You are in the Student Union, having lunch and hanging out. A friend of yours comes up to you to say hello, how're you, etc, and then asks you why you weren't at the party. You stick to your story.
Other important notes: The house where the party was hosted is a house where 5 of your siblings live. The friend that you called on Thursday is one that you invited to a party that another sibling of yours hosted, where he met siblings of yours, and this is how he was invited to the party in question. The majority of the people that attended this party are friends of yours, and are used to seeing you at parties and functions. The friend that said hi to you in the student union is a fairly good friend of yours. The majority of the people that attended the party in question are members of XYZ GLO, of which you know nearly the entire chapter and are respected and liked by the chapter.

opaldragon · #2 12-11-2003, 07:17 PM

So no one has any comments on this situation? I figured this would be an interesting situation to ponder.

Glitterkitty · #3 01-31-2004, 10:10 PM

OK. I need alittle more info before I know what to say

Are you pissed off that the person throwing the party did not personally invite you? Or are you upset that others found out before you? I am confused. You were invited by three people and you didn't go. Exactly what is the situation on which we should comment?

Not being ugly-I am really just confused.

opaldragon · #4 01-31-2004, 10:25 PM

I purposefully made the post vague so it would remain objective and people would give their points of view.
However, since clarification was asked for, I'll elaborate. I was upset because I found it rather shady that I had to be informed of and invited to a party a sister of mine hosted by someone outside the chapter. Particularly in the situation where the overwhelmingly majority of people in attendance all know me and like me, and then I was later questioned as to why I was not there. Rather than say "I was not invited because of a sister's fucking shady behavior", I used the "I wasn't feeling well, and I'm out of the loop" excuse. With this situation, I didn't feel sisterhood, but there was no need to rag on my sister to this person; I respect her. To summarize, I felt slighted and disrespected by some sisters and found it fucking shady that there was no invite.
Given that situation was a few months ago and pretty much dead and buried, but I'm still curioous as to what people would do in a similar situation.

sigep533 · #5 02-01-2004, 03:15 PM

I think you're over reacting...i dont always invite everyone i know to my parties...its word of mouth always.

opaldragon · #6 02-01-2004, 03:19 PM

I didn't overreact. It happened, I didn't make a scene, I didn't confront; it just slid by. I just wanted people's POVs on here, objective too, hence the original post. React to the original post, not the others.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #7 02-01-2004, 03:34 PM

I'd have to agree, most parties are word of mouth. However, rather than take the approach you took I would have said "well, no one told me until a few days before and by then I was busy".

Besides, they probably assumed you knew and they can't personally invite everyone.............

Glitterkitty · #8 02-01-2004, 03:48 PM

I have a very good friend who has regular parties/ gatherings etc. Rarely does he invite me. I always go. And it usually happens the way you described your situation. Some one else calls me and asks if I am going, do we want to ride together etc. It is very possible your sister found out that others had spoken to you and so she didn't call you herself, b/c she figured you knew. Also, if you know A LOT of people-like poeple in GLO's do, it is hard to actually call and invite everyone. Word of mouth is the way the word gets out. I am sure your sister wanted you there and your presence was obviously missed. It is also a little bit possible she is wondering why you didn't come to her party and her feelings are little hurt too.

PsychTau · #9 02-01-2004, 04:26 PM

Well, I'd personally be a little ticked off and feel slighted right after it happened.

BUT, everyone was asking you to go and asking why you weren't there. That means that they still like you and wanted you around. If they were talking about the party and acting like they wanted you there/excluding you from the conversation, etc. then I'd be a little more upset.

It was a mistake, the sister probably thought she had mentioned it when you were around, she may have and you didn't catch the info (due to being distracted or something), etc. The fact is that you were invited 3 times, and afterwards bunches of people asked why you didn't go. You were wanted. That's what matters in the long run.

PsychTau

Peaches-n-Cream · #10 02-01-2004, 04:50 PM

Maybe you should ask your sister why you weren't invited.

OtterXO · #11 02-03-2004, 01:03 PM

I honestly think your sister just assumed you knew about the party. I have done this before where I forget to directly tell a few people about a party/get together I am having. This in NO WAY means that they aren't invited or that I wanted other people there more than them. It just slipped through the (mental) cracks. I don't think you should be offended at all but I totally understand why you would be. I definitely don't think you should say anything to your sis because then it will seem like you are overreacting. Let it go and know that if people were asking why you weren't there, it's because they wanted you to be there!!!

xoheatherxo · #12 02-03-2004, 02:54 PM

i totally agree with dzgirl. i lived in a house with 2 other sisters last year. we had parties all the time and didnt call barely anyone about it. usually wed assume that the girls would know they were invited if we were having something. other girls that lived together in houses assumed the same thing. someone would call and ask what was going on that night and then wed say where we were going. talk to your sisters and ask them what happened--im sure it wasnt intentional on their part. how big is your chapter? mine only had about 40 girls and i could not imagine calling every single one every time we had soemthing going on. word of mouth is the best way. but if it makes you feel better, talk to them and clear things up. if they dont realize that this is bothering you it wont get resolved!! heather