Friend busting out stereotypes, etc

SiKeS · #1 02-04-2004, 10:13 PM

Any tips on responding to stereotyped and greek bad-mouthing from your own friends about joining a fraternity?

Don't want to lose friends over it, but it is my decision and they should respect that...

Have any of you had to deal with similar issues?

AchtungBaby80 · #2 02-04-2004, 11:43 PM

Most of my HS friends couldn't understand why I joined a sorority...they were against it, but it was a foreign concept to them. They were mostly off getting married or living with their SO's, so they weren't really interested in getting involved on campus much. I didn't get any flak over it...they just didn't (and still don't) understand it.

AlethiaSi · #3 02-05-2004, 08:07 AM

yea- i definately know what you are talking about- i actually did lose some friends over it but there were otehr problems going on between us and i was starting to love who i was ratehr then sit around and be miserable with them all the time.... so in the end- you know waht is right for you and it will work out... it is really scary doing something by yourself or going in another direction- but you will grow so much from your experiences and you will meet so many new people. I know that i am blessed to have such good friends now and i know waht true friendship is really about rather than having someone who put me down all the time be my "friend". i know this probably isn't the case with you- but the long and short of it is that you need to do what is best for you

and also if they are really your friends and they see taht it is beneficial and you aren't going to change- then they will support you- b/c thats what friends do... also all they know is the stereotypes of greek life- not the great stuff about it- so educate them and try to include them in on your life- make sure they know that you aren't going to just disappear and you aren't trying to just "buy" your friends.... they are just knocking on your decision b/c they don't know how else to react- and also they don't want to lose you as a friend.... so just explain all that to them- hopefully they will get it...

i wish you the best of luck- and you are going to have an GREAT time

Optimist Prime · #4 02-05-2004, 11:38 AM

People who disrespect you aren't your friends. Move on. It sucks, but that's what I did and looking back on it they weren't really my friends.

JaimeNicole · #5 02-05-2004, 11:38 AM

I had a friend who told me if I joined XYZ to "never think about coming over to his house ever again...WE dont like them. Well, this was like, 2 days after he had started pledging so I just responded with "SO YOURE A "WE" NOW!?" and called him some not so nice things for being ignorant and not thinking for himself. Well, in the end, I joined the house that "they" didnt like, and he ended up depledging for other reasons and now hes always hanging out around the house, has come to some a dated thing and likes my sisters, and feels really dumb for not making the decision whether to like us or not on his own.

I think what you basically have to do is tell your friends, "this is what I want and if you are my friend you will support me"! Once they see how much fun you are having with your sisters, they will probably want to join too!

SiKeS · #6 02-05-2004, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DZGirl
One thing I notice about all those guys talking down fraternities, etc... is that when there's a fraternity party, they are the first ones trying to get in, and the first ones pissed when they get rejected at the door.. haha that's what they get. I bet all of your friends that talk you down for joining will be trying to go to your fraternity's parties....

Hah you totally hit the nail on the head... When he was talking to me about it and bashing greek life, his reasoning went like this...

"Why would you want to do community service and all that stuff if you don't have to? We can just live in a dorm and go to the fraternity's partys.. blah blah blah"

For one, thats a horrible thing to say. Community service is something you should feel good about doing... He also doesn't really understand the concept that he has to contribute before he can take... He can't just go walking in and freeloading on other people's parties... His views are warped.. And theres no use trying to explain to him.

TSteven · #7 02-05-2004, 03:49 PM

It sounds like some of these guys have decided for themselves that fraternity life isn't something for them. And that is fine. For them. However, they should not project this on you. You need to do what is best for you.

And if you join a fraternity, you won't "lose friends" - even the ones who did not join. Friends support you. My advice is to ignore those people who don't support you because they might not truly have your best interest at heart.

rainbowbrightCS · #8 02-05-2004, 05:49 PM

I am sorry but true friends do not make fun at who you are and they support you. They do not have to agree with you but they care.

Thoses are not true friends.

MTSUGURL · #9 02-05-2004, 05:54 PM

Sorry to say this but it's true - The majority of friends you make in college, you will not keep for a long time after college.

Joining a GLO is a lifetime thing.

You do the math.

angelic1 · #10 02-05-2004, 07:30 PM

Most of my friends were fine with it, but I did have some who had wierd notions about being in a sorority. Most asked me about my experiences and some have even regretted not joining because they had the wrong opinion of them. Most of the time just telling them about it if they really are your friend straightens it out.

Recently there has been this guy that I really really like.. we started talking but when he found out I was in a sorority he didnt think I was his type.. though now after hanging out with me he said that he was stupid for judging me on something he really didnt know much about. Most people just dont know if they have stereotyped.