Guess What I Did...

[AKAtude]

Saturday afternoon my fiance and I went to the mall. As we entered the mall, a group of teenagers (boys and girls) were walking out. One of the girls in the group was extremely overweight. She was wearing a pair of short, short, short, short shorts and a top that tied around the neck and waist, exposing all of her back and the sides.

As we approached them, she made a big scene and everyone in her group began laughing at her because her left breast fell out of the shirt. One older gentleman walking by couldn't keep his eyes away! I was so appalled by her attire that I actually said out loud, "I can't believe she is wearing that! She looks stank!"

Everyone in her group got quiet and one of the other girls turned around and looked at me as we passed by. I turned around and said "yes, I said it!"

I have no idea what came over me, but my fiance thinks I embarrassed them. If I did, that is just fine with me. Maybe hearing it from a stranger will make her wake up and take a good look at how she is presenting herself to the outside world.

How can parents allow their young daugheters to leave the house that way? Do these girls crave attention that are willing to put themselves out there like that?

Of course, after that incident my fiance said he is hoping for all boys.

[kitten03]

All I can say is You Go Girl...

[AKA4MJ]

Soror, I am with you, I probably would of had the same reaction,But my fiance would of laughed! And I would make no apologies for it. Wrong is WRONG!!!

Now, I can't forget that when I was that age, or hell even a few years ago, I dressed a little risque (sp?), more so when I was younger though. I think it is a faze. But maybe this girl being overweight and all, have self-esteem problems. Obviously she does not have "true" friends because if they were, they would not had let her out of the house like that. And too answery your question, young girls these days either do not have the supervision we had (you know parents are getting younger these days)or their parents are aiding in the problem. For example why wehn I get my nails done, there are little girls in their about the age of 10,11, 12 getting their nails and eyebrows done. I am like "What the HELL!" I wished I would of went to my mother and asked to get anything done besides a manicure. I could not even wear red polish till I turned 16. Parents need to do a better job a policing their children, especially girls because they are the ones who are looked down upon and bring home the babies. Now I am not saying its right that the girl get the short end of the stick, but it is the truth!

[Poplife]

I'm so proud of you!

If you see a similar situation I vote that you say it again. Love comes in all forms. Sometimes it hurts.

[vanda]

I think some of these girl's parents do not know they are dressed that way. They may sneak and do it. But you should know when things look right on you. I think what would have made me mad was not the fact of what she had on, but giggling as her breasts are falling out. AKAtude I can feel ya on your outburst but please err on the side of caution. sometimes these kids nowadays are always ready to get violent.

[pink_ace]

I'm sorry, maybe I represent the few but I don't think you should have said that. Regardless of how she was dressed, I don't think that was your place to say that, especially in the way in which you did. If you felt that you just had to say something it would have been better to pull her over to the side or something. It is not appropriate to say everything on your mind all the time, especially the way these teens are these days. Just a little something to think about no disrespect intended.

[AKA2D '91]

Soror Pink_ace,

let's put it on the PMS thingy! LOL

LESS THAN ONE MONTH...and counting!

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

While I agree that something should have been said I think that the way you approached it was with a LACK of taste and respect.

Yes, as a woman I feel that young girls should not dress the way they do. Sometimes parents are aware, other times they aren't.

Had you pulled the young lady to the side and explained that her attire was very inappropriate (and probably also her actions that made her breast fall out) it would have been all good.

Basically calling her out publicly was totally disrespectful and to top it off the "yeah I said it" comment was soooooo GHETTO!!

Personally I think twice when repremanding young people in my city, especially if I am not familiar with them. I have been witness to many an adult get their a$$ whipped by a teen, and maybe the teen's parent jumps in as well.

While we all may want to be helpful we must remember that sometimes its not what you say but how you say it and also never let anyone or anything make you act out of character.

Nuff said!!!

------------------
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[lilbittyprettyone]

i agree that this girl was not dressed appropriately but i do not think that you should have said that. although she was obviously trying to be grown, she is not. she is still a child. it seems that she already has low self-esteem because of the way she was dressed. what you said was just another damaging blow to her already fragile self-esteem. she was overweight, her breast had just popped out in a very public place, and she was just insulted publicly. i would not be surprised if that girl went home and cried.
i think that if you really felt the need to speak on the subject then you should have pulled her to the side and told her that she was beautiful and that her clothes were taking away from, and not adding to the natural beauty that god blesses everyone with. a bit of direction from a positive female source would have done much more for her.

[MaMaBuddha]

what ever happened to pulling her aside and telling her that it didn't look presentable???

to diss someone in public....is not nice!!!

her self esteem could be all jacked up now.

Judging from my outbursts on this board...I would've probably done the same thing.

One of my cousins is extremely overweight (and I'm not being mean about it because that girl's just lazy and eats too much), and she insists on wearing tight clothing (especially tops that almost make her 40DDs pop out). Her reasons for doing so is to attract men--but the only ones she seems to attract are military scum of the earth from Schofield Barracks. Sometimes I AM EMBARASSED to be with her when she dresses that way. I swear sometimes I don't know who the hell she thinks she is. I have nothing against overweight people, but at least have some decency...ya know?

AKAtude, perhaps you did this girl a favor by saying what you said. True, dissing people in public is not nice...BUT--I'm imagining how that girl was dressed...and when dressing that way you're bound to get dissed in public.

[MaMaBuddha]

good topic for ricki lake...

title: family who are fat as hell and like to dress sexy

ricki! ricki! ricki! ricki!

[AKAtude]

Actually, I surprised myself because I didn't realize I had said it that loud. That is why I said I don't know what came over me. I was actually talking to my fiance. However, I said what I meant and I don't make apologies. I probably said what a lot of other people were thinking who were staring at her.

Honestly, how many of you think the same thing when you see these girls out in public dressed this way? How many of you take the time to pull these young ladies to the side and give them a sisterly lecture on their attire? Do you think they would be responsive to you approaching them?

I don't regret what I said nor do I regret that she heard me. Would I do it again? Not on purpose, but if I'm having a private conversation with someone I'll try to keep my voice down!

[Ideal08]

Ok, perhaps I misunderstood Soror AKAtude's post. I was under the impression that she said what she said outloud, but not TO the girl. If she was speaking TO her, she would have said, "I can't believe YOU'RE wearing that. YOU look stank." She was OVERHEARD. Soror, am I right? If that is the case, then I would have to say, really, how many of us have said things under our breath or even whispered, that could have hurt the person who heard it? What makes it so different or GHETTO because she happened to be overheard? And would it have been different if the young lady had been grown? I could go take a look at the DO NOT.COM thread and pull a couple of not so nice things from that. I guess it's different if you say it behind someone's back? That's tactful? I think that's phony. Just my .08 . . .

[AKAtude]

Originally posted by Ideal08:
Ok, perhaps I misunderstood Soror AKAtude's post. I was under the impression that she said what she said outloud, but not TO the girl. If she was speaking TO her, she would have said, "I can't believe YOU'RE wearing that. YOU look stank." She was OVERHEARD. Soror, am I right? If that is the case, then I would have to say, really, how many of us have said things under our breath or even whispered, that could have hurt the person who heard it? What makes it so different or GHETTO because she happened to be overheard? And would it have been different if the young lady had been grown? I could go take a look at the DO NOT.COM thread and pull a couple of not so nice things from that. I guess it's different if you say it behind someone's back? That's tactful? I think that's phony. Just my .08 . . .

Soror Ideal 08, you are correct. I was speaking to my fiance when I made the comment. Y'all know how noisy and crowded the mall can be at times, especially on a Saturday afternoon. I was talking a bit louder to ensure that he was able to hear me.

However, Littlebitty made the comment that I insulted her in a public place. She embarrassed herself in a public place by entering the public wearing her outfit. Just like a celebrity, they take a chance either being critisized or adored by the public. I critisized her. If she was wearing a fly outfit, I would have said that what she was wearing was nice. Either way, my comment would still not have been directed to her, but my shopping companion.